Lost in the Ocean
by AiculAiram
Summary: In 1994, in Green Island Bella and Edward didn't know one another but they've always been near to each other. When one leaves a room, the other comes in. Will they ever be in the same place at the same time together? Will they ever meet?
1. Chapter 1

**S.M owns the twilight characters.**

**I only try to put them in a story.**

**This could never be possible without help so I have to thank 2 great girls :**

**PIXIE-BELLE88 ****AND AELGP! **

**After what you did it looks great and I love my story even more.**

**The islands mentioned in this story are real and the color names is one poetic way of calling them. **

Lost in the Ocean

BPOV

The noise coming from inside the pub was like torture to my ears. I love parties, music and clubs but today instead of me being the "fun girl"… everyone knows –I felt like a prisoner in my own party.

There are more than twenty friends and acquaintances of mine…friends of friends, which I spend a lot of time with. Today oddly enough makes me feel even more alone than usual.

It's my 18th birthday… I'm away from home, it's a non-supervision party and I'm surrounded by friends.

_I don't understand why I feel so alone. _

I was looking at the huge glass door, while I light another cigarette. I can see each of my friends, having fun… while I'm out here with a beer… instead of being with all of them.

"All that she wants" was loud and clear. I used to love to dance to this with Alice and Seth. The three of us always bring up the most unusual dance when we're together at the club. The girls go crazy with Seth's moves and guys get jealous. Only we know that Seth is harmless to us girls. He looks at us like sisters… like the ones he wishes he had.

He's going through hell with his sister Leah because she found out his gay. Alice and I have known even before he admitted it to himself and it doesn't bother us. It's just one more girl around… Well it's not the same… but you get the point.

He's very good-looking and even I had a secret crush on him, but then I met James. We hung out a couple times… until we found out we liked to be with each other.

James is kinda my boyfriend. We don't like to label the three year relationship so we don't. We hang out, go to parties with our friends, used to smoke some weed.

Don't judge I know its wrong… that's why I stopped. I drink a lot and that's about it.

James is a bartender and usually when there's a couple contest that inquires us to drink B-52's… we win all the time –weird I know –but I really like the stuff!

Sometimes when I can escape from my parents eyes… I run to the pub so I can be with him. He makes me feel first-class and wanted… even special… like I'm the only girl in the world.

James looks at me with that special look… the one that makes my heart beat faster and makes me very happy. He also respects me and the way I think. That's important… but I don't love him.

I hate that about me but I don't love him. I _like_ him very much. I'd do anything in the world to see him happy. I'd prefer killing myself then to hurt him. Maybe that's why I'm out here...

"Hey Bella, wake up! We're all here for you and you're out here alone?" Alice's voice woke me up from my thoughts

"Sorry Alice, I was just resting my ears. I'll be back in a few minutes ok? Just tell them I'm smocking or whatever you want." I tried to smile but I guess I wasn't successful enough… because I saw Alice's worried face

"Bella, what's wrong? Didn't you like the surprise James did? He came a long way… just to be with you on your birthday party

"I liked it. I mean I think I liked the surprise… forget it I really don't want to think about that now. Just let me be… for a little bit and I'll be inside soon."

Alice kissed my cheek and left me again with my thoughts. She knows me even more then I know myself.

I turned around to watch the ocean.

I enjoyed the surprise party for me that James concocted. I hadn't heard from him in three days… until the surprise –with his presence outside my dorm. To many surprises for one day if you asked me, but I can't complain.

He came in a yacht with some friends from our island-Blue island- just to be with me today. I'm supposed to be happy right? Well… that's me… always unsatisfied with everything in my life.

Hell! I'm just eighteen I have the right to want everything out of life don't I? Or am I supposed to be happy with my boyfriend appearing at a party after three months without talking to him?

Yeah! We haven't spoken in three months.

He doesn't like to use the cell I gave him before I left and when I call his house or work he's never around or so they say. So I have to give my messages to my friend Kate that works with him, and I suppose she does give him the messages… because sometimes she tells me something that he'd like to know.

So no! Sorry… I'm not happy with this surprise...

There is another reason for my bad mood.

After three months without any real contact with James, another guy in our group Jacob… has been there to cheer me up. He'd always say that maybe the guy doesn't like to talk on the phone, or maybe he was planning a surprise.

_Note to self: ask Jake if he knew about James's surprise. _

Jake always said nice things to keep me from going crazy –about James's silence. Jake is always there... always

I'd just be happy with his company and of course with Seth and Alice's –trying to forget all about James.

Alice is my best friend and when I decided to skip college and go try my luck in a technical school, she decided to come along. She's trying to go to college but the one she's been applying to… didn't have any vacancies this year… so she decided to wait until she can try again. Like she always says… we're young and she knows exactly what she wants no matter how long she has to wait.

She's always like that… in everything in her life. She's been with Jasper since they were fifteen and they're very happy together but not in a very serious way. They're faithful just because they love each other too much to be with any one else… but they don't have to be in touch all the time.

Jasper doesn't want to go to college or technical school so he went to work in father's office. My dad is the Chief of Police of our little city, but he has to cover the whole Blue island. It's not that big anyway.

When my mom decided she didn't want to do paper work for my dad anymore, Jasper was still making up his mind… on what he wanted to do with his life… so the invitation to work in my father's office was a welcomed one.

I really won't be surprised if he decides to become a cop too.

"Baby, what are you doing outside alone?" I heard James and turned around to face him.

"I was just thinking about life… nothing much. I'm ready to go inside now." I was about to stand up when he stopped me holding my arm

"Bella, I... – sometimes" James stutters, more when he's nervous "I...I'm staying at a hotel near your dorm and I was thin...thin...thinking that maybe you co...could st...stay with me to...tonight. I'm leaving tomorrow –you know." He stated.

"James, I don't mind staying with you… but you know our rule… so if you don't pass that line –we'll be ok.

"Ok baby, thanks. I know I haven't been the perfect boyfriend but I've really missed you. It hurts too much talking on the phone with you… when I just want to forget everything and be with you

I saw tears in his eyes, and briefly remembered that this was the second time in three years that I've saw them. The first time was when I told him I was coming here. I had to stop that, before he started to cry.

"James, you know this is important to me. You have your life the way you want… I don't. It's only going to be six more months then I'm back.

I heard the first keys of my favorite song starting to play in the pub and wished I was alone to appreciate it the way it should be, then I heard him try to sing the chorus

"Promise me you'll wait for me,

'cos I'll be saving all my love for you,

And I will be home soon

Promise me you'll wait for me,

I need to know you feel the same way too,

And I'll be home,

I'll be home soon…"

"Remember Bella? You used to listen to this song over and over the last week you were home. Now I listen to it all the time and the guys are going nuts!"

I tried to imagine all the guys in the pub listening to Promise Me and I really just started laughing.

I suck!

His face was so sad when I looked at him… that I felt even worse and embraced him.

"Sorry James... I was laughing about the image of the guys listening to this with all that beer going around and I just… sorry" I pecked his lips in a way –to excuse myself but that was a mistake. Like always he wanted more, so I had to break the embrace.

"I have to go inside, care to join me?" I asked.

His face said more than his mouth. He was disappointed that I was going in when we were outside alone for the first time in three months. I felt like shit again and was about to change my mind when he said,

"You go Baby. I'll be there after a smoke."

I was leaving but remembered something important and turned back right before the last chorus of my song was done.

"James, thank you for coming… I really appreciate your visit." With that being said I went in to enjoy the rest of my party… knowing that this night wasn't going to be easy to sleep through.

EPOV

"Jessica, I really don't feel comfortable crashing into someone's birthday party!" I huffed.

"Edward, relax… they won't even notice you. They're my friends. You're my friend and you're alone so come with me… please?" Jess begged.

"What if…" As per usual she'd cut me off

"Ed, I don't wanna go alone ok? Be my date, please!" She pressed.

She knows me very well...with those begging eyes I'd kill someone for her "Ok let's go!"

"Thanks!" She kissed me and dragged me out of my room

Jessica and I have known each other ever since we were kids. A few years ago I went to mainland with my parents and we kept in touch. She even convinced me to come to this technical school before college.

It was a new thing on the island and she really wanted me there. We're like best-brother/sister-friends. Weird definition I know but it is what it is. We don't fight like siblings usually do… we see nothing more happening with each other –other than friends. Everyone around us thinks this is cute and that eventually we will came out and say we're in love or something but we know better.

"Hey Jess, what's the birthday girls name again?" I asked.

"Bella… Isabella Swan, she's my roommate… Remember I told you? Bella and Alice have been my friends since school and we've managed to get the same room… with Angela of course."

Jessica doesn't like Angela very much, she's a great girl and very nice to everyone.

"I've never understood why you hate Angela so much! She's very nice… what is it with you two?" I eyed her.

"Angela keeps telling me how pretty I look… how good my jeans fit… how my hear looks great and so on… its creepy!" Jess explained.

"Jess, come on… the girl is being nice –saying good things about you and you don't like her?" I rolled my eyes.

"Ed, she's gay." She whispered the last word and it made me laugh.

"Jess I believe the correct name is lesbian and no matter what she says… you won't be one –unless you like it. She's not like your vampires–bite and change humans in vampires!" I chuckled.

"Hey! Leave my vampires alone… I know that but I feel weird around her. It's like... I don't know but... it's like I'm always waiting for her to grab me, or kiss me and that makes me nervous." She shivered.

"Jess, do you have feelings for her? Like more then friends?" I asked.

"I don't know Ed, that's what makes me nervous and makes me dislike her. I hate these feeling and it drives me crazy." She waved her hand in the air.

"Jess, maybe you should try to be her friend. We have six more months to live here so let's not make enemies, when we can make friends ok? Give Angela a chance. Maybe she's just being nice and if she's in to you… who knows? I believe she's the kind if girl that will wait for you to make the first move." I explained.

"See… that's why I don't want to be friends with her. What if …" she trailed on.

Now it was my turn to cut her off "What if nothing! I never saw Angela doing anything wrong around here… I do believe she'll respect you. Maybe you're being a coward because you felt something for her." I pressed.

With this last statement I shut her up. I love my friend but living in a small island sometimes makes people think wrong about different ways of living. I was one of those examples. As a "mainlander" I was consider an outsider on the island and now I was an outsider on the mainland because I was studying on an island. I know how people can judge others just because they don't think, live or like the same way they do.

When we arrived at the pub the loud music rang through my ears. I bet I'm going to have a headache tomorrow.

"Will you promise to dance with me?" Jessica asked just before my ears popped because of the loud "Ace of Base" "All that she wants" booming… so I just nodded to answer Jessica.

The place was small and cozy so everyone dancing filled the little dance floor –next to the bar… where I went immediately –asking for a beer.

The good thing about living here is that we can drink when we're eighteen and because most of us came here all the time… we don't show any I.D.

The first time I came here I had to show it of course but coming here… almost every day they already know me and most of the students

"Hey Edward" I heard Sam the bartender yell at me "I thought you said you wouldn't be in today!"

"I told you… I wasn't invited but Jess said it was ok." I yelled over the music and pointed to Jess.

Some guy that was next to me said, "Don't worry man, Bella doesn't care about that crap… invitations I mean and this was a surprise party after all. I'm Jacob." He stretched his hand out for a handshake, which I took.

"Hi I'm Edward. Thanks for that. I hate crushing in, but I was threatened by my girlfriend… well she's not my "girlfriend"… she's a girl and a friend" I explained –I felt ridiculous. "Do you know Bella?" I asked.

"Hell ya! She's a wonderful girl. I met her when she got here and never left her side. It sucks that she has a boyfriend, especially because he doesn't deserve her." Jacob stated.

I'm not really into gossip, but this caught my attention, "And why is that?"

"She's always worried about him but he spent the last three months without talking to her and today… here he is… a surprise gift! I wish he never came." He lowered his head down to my ear and I could smell the beer on his breathe.

"You see, I'm trying to... you know… make her forget about him. She's really special to me. I think she's the one, but for now she only sees me as a friend. One of her best friends and that… man… that sucks!" His drunken slur came out.

Ok… system overload, too much information. Being a computer geek this is something I say and think a lot… _whatever._

"So where is she?" I asked –looking around… trying to find… I really don't know what because I really don't know what she looks like.

"She's out there smoking… or something. Alice went out there and… and she's ok." Jake said.

Alice? Ohh right the other roommate. I should be taking notes on this stuff. I'm weird!

"So… where's the boyfriend?" I nosed.

"See that guy over there," Jake pointed to a group of guys so I was clueless, "the one with the bad ass looking, dirty blond hair?" He continued to point –until I made him out.

Ok… is dirty blond hair even a color? But it helped… I think? I could at least identify "the bad ass."

"Yeah I think so. You two don't get a long?" I assumed.

"Nah, I'm from a Black island. On my island we don't have high school so I went to Blue island to study… he was already working at one of the pubs we used to go to. The guys and I had a..."misunderstanding." "His guys" and we never got along much." Jake went on to explain.

So many things going on in these little islands... Nice. Ok I feel like a girl with all this gossip, but I couldn't help myself, "How come you never met Bella?" I asked.

"Well after that... "misunderstanding" I avoided the pub and in school we had different classes –different friends. We only spoke when we got here."

"That's strange, they're island isn't so big that people can't run in too each other, once in a while, right?" I eyed him.

"I don't know, maybe it was meant to be… that I'd find her here and fall in love with her." He sighed.

This guy has some serious problems. He's in love with his best friend… that has a bad ass boyfriend. I felt sorry for him.

"Have you told her yet?" I asked.

"Are you crazy? She's very loyal to that son of a bitch and I prefer to have her friendship and than nothing at all… I can wait. He'll screw up… I just know it. Oh no!"

"What?" I looked around to try to figure out what was wrong.

"Her favorite song." His face was a mist of sadness and hurt

"Promise Me" by "Beverly Craven"... figures... a love song for a girl that has her heartbroken because of a bad boyfriend. Hell that's one of my favorite songs too and I'm a guy! Yes I know already I'm weird!

When the music was about to end my cell vibrated… so I picked it up and saw it was my roommate. I went outside to take the phone call… giving that Jacob guy a sigh… pointing to my cell. When I was leaving for the door I passed by Jess and by answering the call… I'd made her sigh.

**Leave your thoughts please and thanks for reading**


	2. Chapter 2

**S.M owns the twilight characters****.****I only try to play with them.**

**Thank You time:**

**Big thanks to ****PIXIE-BELLE88 AND AELGP.**

**Pixie your encourage and help is welcome every day.**

**AELGP you work the words and then they look even better.**

**TWILIFE2011****, ****kewlwhip**** and ****roon0**** for the reviews.**

**I really didn't mind if I got ****zero reviews, because I really love to write and this experience is something else, but now that you started don't stop .Please?**

**So let's dive in to the ocean… I meant story**

**BPOV**

I woke up to the sound of water running and mumbling that didn't sound familiar. Waking up has always been a challenge for me.

Right before I open my eyes I try to find out what's going on around me… so I don't get surprised. That sound wasn't familiar at all. I suddenly remembered that I wasn't in my room.

Ok so today is going to be a challenge… right from the beginning.

I heard what I hoped was James… in the shower mumbling something like "baby I love your way", but I wasn't sure about that and didn't care much. I was still dressed so everything was good.

_Criticize whatever you __want... I've heard it before believe me._

My boyfriend comes to visit, at my surprise birthday party no less and we're alone in this nice hotel room and I'm dressed with last night clothes still on!

_What's wrong with me right__? _

Well, our relationship isn't that physical anyway. We used to have enough snogging and kissing but we've never left first base.

_Yes I'm still a virgin, so what__? _

I'm maybe one of the last eighteen year old virgins left in the world but I really don't care. I won't have sex without wanting to… Just to make a point or to be like the other girls –period.

James thinks it's normal because of my parent's catholic influence –with the virginity thing until marriage but really it's not. I can't tell why so I won't try.

Hell I feel more excited around Jacob than around my own boyfriend. Oops... Did I really think this?

_Its o__k I think._

It's time to talk to James, or... maybe not?

I knew him well enough… he'd leave and never call me until Christmas and that's three months from now so...let it be. I'm not going anywhere

"Hey Baby!" James walked into the room wearing only a towel around his waist. He pecked my lips "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes I did. And you?" This morning conversation is weird by the way

"Like a baby! It's so good to sleep beside you." he grabbed a pack of cigarettes and lit one whilst walking over to the window "Are you ok? Last night you had a lot to drink"

I don't really remember most of the night. After leaving James and going inside I just started to drink and dance and the first thing I remember is waking up.

"I'm good. Thanks. I didn't do anything stupid did I?" I really hoped not

"Well you danced with you're friends and I have to admit… I didn't enjoy that Jacob guy grabbing you all the time but he was wasted so ..." he shrugged it off

_H__uh? Jacob grabbed me? __Ok... I have__ to call Alice right away_.

I stood up –reaching for me little purse and with my cell in the other hand I waved at James,

"I'm going to the bathroom. Be right back."

Closing the door behind me I went to the mirror. Geez I was a mess! My make-up was all around my face but in all the wrong places. I looked like a fucking clown, but worse! My hair was a total mess –like usual but what was worse was the look in my eyes. It scared me… there was noting there. Not joy or happiness… sadness or anything… just my empty eyes

I decided to call Alice in that moment… hoping she wasn't asleep

"What do you want?" she's awake and in a bad mood

"Morning! What did I do last night with Jacob?" I asked.

"Nothing much… you danced… you kissed ..."

"I did what? I kissed Jacob? Are you kidding?" This I was worse than I'd thought

"Calm down Bella, he kissed you, I pushed you away before you got...too excited"

"Thanks Al. I can't imagine what could've happen if we just… you know … in front of everyone" I stuttered.

Only the possibility of what could've been… was making me blush. I'm no saint but rules are rules

"James wasn't watching. Jacob pulled you off to some corner and dared you to bite his tongue." She giggled.

She didn't have to go on… being me sucks even I know that. I can't handle a challenge like that. Everyone around me knows the words "you don't dare" or "you cannot" makes me do the opposite.

"I was right next to you in a second and grabbed you away from him" She explained.

I can't imagine my little friend grabbing me from Jake's arms, but I started to laugh

"You think its funny Bella? Thank god that other guy pushed Jake away!"

Shit… One more witness .. "What guy?"

"You know… that hot friend of Jessica's… Edward… I think is his name. When he saw what I was trying to do he called Jacob out"

Edward? Jessica's friend? … searching... searching… nope can't find a face for that name.

"So Al was that it… just you and Jessica's friend saw?" I asked.

I hoped so I was embarrassed enough just to know that a stranger saw me doing that. By the way what was he doing at my party –if I don't know him at all?

So many weird thing happening. I have to get back to the dorm ASAP.

"Yes, Hun… just the two of us – remind me to thank you latter by the way- and a mortified Jacob afterwards. After I sent you away with James, he was all tears and whining about how much he loves you and doesn't want to ruin your thing with James, etc, etc"

"What?" I screamed at the phone and in a few seconds heard a knock at the door

"Baby you alright?" James had heard me of course.

"Yeah everything's ok. Just talking to Alice, be right out." I really have to go back so I can hear all of this in a perfect lucid way.

"Alice, I'll be right out. Don't. You Dare To Leave!"

"OK Bella Geez. Calm down. I'll wait for you. See ya."

"Love ya."

I put the cell in my pocket and started to wash myself. No shower for me right now. I have to get back to the dorm and figure everything out

When I opened the door there he was. James was lying on the bed, hands behind his head, covered with the sheet and I bet nothing else. He respects the rules but being naked under sheets when I'm still in the room is probably something we never discuss. It doesn't bother me much but it feels strange.

Maybe because I'd like to feel something else...

Ok first thing first. Say goodbye see ya soon and try to find out what's wrong with Jacob and about last night then find out who this Edward was.

"James, I have to go. You're leaving too right? "I climbed onto the bed towards him. Once on the bed I grabbed a hank of hair behind and tacked it under his hand.

"So I think I'll see you next Christmas right?" If we get there anyway

"Bella" ok this isn't going to be good, he never calls me by my name "you know what I feel about you and I've always been respectful of your stupid rules…. but this is too much for me to handle"

_Shit we're having the talk_

"I love you. I waited until you would feel the same but you don't… I know that now. You care about me, and the phone calls –ensure me that… but it's not enough for me. Three years and you just don't love me."

I was feeling empty. Shouldn't I be saying these things? And why can't I feel a single thing?

"I came here to say goodbye. I didn't think it would be fare for me to break up with you on the phone and you know my problem… I'd probably start stammering without getting this out… the right way. But you know. It's fine. I really love you and I have a feeling that I always will"

Emptiness… can't feel a thing… can't talk either.

He held my hand and kissed my knuckles slowly then with those sweet eyes that I'll miss –he looked at me with a sad smile in his face

"Bella, please be happy. I hope you can be my friend, because that's what we really are… friends."

"James...I..." I was the one with speech problems now "James, I'm sorry. I ...really...I'm sorry"

He put his finger over me lips "Sh there's no need for that now baby. I knew it all a long. I just waited… hoping you'd come around. You were young and we've been through a lot with our parents –always watching us but I think… I was just a challenge for you."

_Ye__p, that's me._

"Now it's time to end this. I really wished that this night would've turned out different. It was a test… for both of us. I _can _be your friend but you will never love me." He picked up my hand again and kissed the back of handoff it. "Be happy Bella and when you come home… visit me if you want. No strings… just friends"

I was still speechless but I had to do something so I bent slowly and gave him a kiss. It may have been the strangest split kiss ever. When he felt my lips on his… he squeezed my hand –opening his mouth… just enough so I could feel his breath. It was the sweetest kiss we'd shared in months.

"Goodbye James. Have a safe trip home. Please take care of yourself. Don't drink so much and stop the weed please. You know what can come from that. Thank you for loving me that much and I hope you find someone that deserves you. I know I don't"

I stood up, gathering my things and went out the door. I felt empty again but emptiness is good because nothing hurts.

I went down the hall and turned to the exit. The receptionist smiled and I tried to do the same.

Outside, the fog made me take a deep breath. Ok this was over… maybe one day I'll remember this morning and feel something… or maybe not, but I do feel better –outside in the cold salty fog.

Our school was on the other side of the road and the girl's dorm was the last building. The boys dorm was right after the mechanic's building were Jacob and Seth have classes along the seaside and the girls dorms after the building were we have our meals and it has pool tables in a small bar area.

I went through the central park and saw that in spite of being Saturday morning there was a lot of students around. A lot of them just waiting to go out for the weekend and then the campus is silent.

We're very lucky. We could wake up and always watch the sea. It's a great relaxing view with White Island just a few miles away. It's a good thing to wake up to –hearing the waves slam against the rocks –at night it sounds just like a lullaby.

I felt a shiver when I was near the boy's dorm run up and down my spine and I internally hoped not to meet Jacob until I knew what happened last night. Another shiver and I remember I wasn't dressed for the night air… with a strap top and with all that drinking I must have left my jacket in the pub.

_Note to__ self: pick __jacket up at the pub later._

When I was just going into my dorm I heard a cough and realized that our guard didn't know about my absence. He was taping the table.

"Morning, did the girls tell you I was spending the night with my cousin?" I lied trying to avoid the questions

"No Bella they didn't but you're back safe so I guess everything's ok" I knew he didn't buy it

"Thank you." I winked and went upstairs.

We really don't need guards but they keep us safe at night and if one girl is missing they have to report it by calling the police. Usually we cover for each other when we're just fooling around and having a night out.

The hall had big windows to the great big backyard… with trees and a small windmill just by the cliff. We used to have our picnics on weekends back there –It's very peaceful.

I open my room's door and saw that the air was thick. Something was going on. Great more drama it's just what I needed this morning.

"Good morning girls!" I saw Alice coming out of the bathroom and gave her a kiss. "What's up?"

Angela and Jessica were at our table reading and drinking coffee when I realized that there was a problem between those two… again.

They both turned my way and responded in a non-friendly unison voice "Morning Bella" then they looked to each other and went back to their books.

I grabbed Alice to sit down on my bed and talk: "Spill"

"Hey I was the one that woke up alone!" She knew me better so I just waited. "Ok, here goes" she waved in the girl's direction "they already know everything"

Great everyone knows about this… Shit!

"Bella, last night was crazy. I've know you since we were kids and I've never seen you so drunk. I told to eat at dinner but you didn't listen"

… Patience Bella … be patient

"So, when I saw Jacob taking you aside I almost ran to you. He had his tongue out and you … just bit him. Then you guys kissed or something but I grabbed Jacob and told you guys to stop." she stood there waiting for a reaction but I just couldn't think

"Then Edward Mr Fuck n' Hot told Jacob he should go outside with him and I took you to James."

Edward Mr. Fuck n' Hot? Alice saying something like that? The guy must be very hot.

"I went back to Jacob and he was crying. He told us… Edward and me that he was in love with you, but he knew that with your boyfriend here… that him telling you was a stupid thing to do. He knows you too well. He knows when you're drunk so he knew you were just acting like yourself with that dare thing"

Fuck, that again

"Then Edward said it wasn't his fault that he was in love with you and didn't think. That sometimes alcohol just makes us do what we wouldn't do if we we're sober, but wished we could"

_I like Edward_

"Then Jacob went on saying he can't be your friend anymore he broke your trust or something like that"

"Asshole"

_Did__ I say that out loud?_

"No he's not" Alice replied

Yes I did. I waved –giving her the sigh to go on

"He also said that he'd talk to James if he found out about it"

I knew this was the perfect line to bring up the news "No need for that… James and I are in the past" I informed.

Now it was Alice's turn to be speechless and with my little bomb both Angela and Jessica threw themselves onto Alice's bed next to mine.

"James broke up with me" and before they started to ask many questions or try to comfort me I said "and I'm ok with it. I didn't love him anyway."

That hurt. I do feel something after all. It hurts that I've spent three years with a guy I like but not love… and it hurts that I hurt him because I didn't fall in love with him after three years.

"So from now on I'm single and that's the end of that. You three know how I feel so there's no need for comfort, ok?"

I turned my head around and saw my three musketeers looking at me like I had three heads… so I change subject –making a sign with my hand towards the bed next to me.

"What's up with you two? Another fight?"

_Silence...ok __I'll wait 1...2...3... and there goes my Alice_

"Angela kissed Jessica last night and now Jess is having second thoughts about her sexuality"

_Note to self nev__er drink again you lose more than you gain._

"And ? Go on" I encourage the two kissers to speak

"Bella I was drunk and it was just a peck actually. I told her I was sorry. I'd never disrespect her. I like her too much for that"

I turned to Jessica waiting for her to say something. When she said nothing I slapped her shoulder and made an inquisitive look

"What? I don't know what to say. Last night I told Edward this would happen. He said that maybe I like her too and I think he's right" she blushed

_Edward again. Who is this guy?_

I really didn't know what to say so I helped in my awkward way… trying to say the right words.

"Listen. You two are friends. Just go from that. Whatever happens it has to be a two way feeling so if one doesn't pressure the other if there's a real feeling it will flow"

_Huh? Did I just say that__? _

With that I turned to Jessica to change the subject again

"Do you mind telling me why I haven't meet Edward yet and not that I matter at all but why was he at in my party last night?"

I could see that the change of subject was welcome and Jessica answered

"I didn't want to go alone. Everyone was gone so I asked him to go with me. I told you guys he's like a brother to me. He's a computer geek and he doesn't go out much. His interest goes from computers to beer and back to computers again. When I go out with him we always go to that pub."

"And how is that even possible? I go there too and we live in the same damn dorm sort of… how could I miss Mr. Fuck n' Hot?"

"What do you want me to say? If you want we can go out there and you can meet him" Jessica was laughing again

"I have more important things to do right now, like shower and figure out this thing with Jacob. I'll meet him when I meet him. I'm just curious that everyone around here knows him and I don't"

With this I blew a kiss to the girls and went to the bathroom. The radio in the room was playing the Big Mountain version of "Baby I love your way" and I wish they'd power that thing off and throw it out the window.

What a morning!

I undressed and went to take my shower wishing it would wash the last hours away

EPOV

_Shadows  
>grow so long before my eyes<br>And they're moving across the page  
>Suddenly the day turns into night<br>Far away from the city but don't hesitate  
>'Cause your love just won't wait hey<br>Ooh baby I love your way every day  
>Wanna tell you I love your way every day<br>Wanna be with you night and day_

The radio was louder than usual but I enjoyed this music and my roommates were out. I must admit I like this reggae version better than the original version.

Today is Saturday so I suppose it won't hurt if I just keep my head out of the books and off of the computer. I really want to make this work and go back home but today I just don't feel like being a geek.

That party last night was a little bit odd but the one thing I remembered the most was Bella. She's so beautiful I now understood how that Jacob guy fell for her.

Not that I think looks makes you fall in love right away but it helps.

She was on my mind almost all the night and because of her I couldn't fall asleep.

What's up with that girl… she'd cheat on her boyfriend just to win a kind of bet? Just because Jacob dared her to… she didn't have to take it?

Poor Jacob. He was devastated by that kiss and so ashamed that he made even me feel bad for him.

That's why I defend him in front of that crazy little thing...what's her name again? Alice! She's a cute little thing but crazy. She was about to kick Jacob in the balls, just because of her friend Bella… she didn't have a big part in it!

That pissed me off.

Women tend to think they can get it easy when they cheat and that because a guy likes them it's ok to go around and flirt with every guy in the city

Geez, where did this come from? I was thinking about Bella not Tanya.

Tanya was my girlfriend. Long story short when she found out I was coming back to the island she cheated on me. She didn't want me to come and the way she had to prove that to me was by sleeping with some new guy in the neighborhood. Huh?

We all live in a sort of community of navy officers although my parents have their own place, but it's easier for my dad if we keep close.

So when a new guy comes in he must be introduced to slut society by Tanya. I'm being an ass I know. I was her last acquisition and we were together for 2 years.

Now I wonder if that poor guy was her first after me.

I'll never know because she didn't have the guts to confirm what she did but if I have to take someone's word… I'll take my brother Carlisle that saw them in the back of her car.

When I confront her she just asked "what I'm supposed to do… stick around like our mothers do waiting for our fathers to come home from overseas?"

With that I just left her standing on her front porch and went home –and never spoke to her again. That didn't really confirm it but she didn't deny it either and like I said my brother is more reliable than her.

I miss Carlisle. He always has a way to bring me up when I'm down and right now I need him.

I just saw Bella pass our dorm and I felt the urge to call out to her.

What would I say? "Hi! I'm the guy that avoided a scene on your birthday?"

I don't even know her!

Or maybe I could say "Hi! You're gorgeous… mind if I squeeze between your boyfriend and your best friend?"

Again, what's with this girl? Why does she make me think of her so much? I just saw her for a few minutes and I can't get her out of my head.

She's trouble… so I should just forget I even saw her. If I lived in this place for the last three months –without crossing paths with her… I might be able to never see her again.

But deep down I really didn't want that to happen.


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing.**

**Just a small warning. I have gay friends that I love deeply and they know I do. What you're about to read is what I know people think most of times. Even now in 2011. Not what I think.**

**Probably my friends will never read this but if they do they'll know exactly what I mean.**

**Thanks again to PIXIE-BELLE88 ****and AELGP not only for reading and correcting all my mistakes but also teaching me again how to write and making this readable. **

**and a big x to TWILIFE2011 for her support.**

**JPOV**

"SHUT THAT DAM THING OFF!" I yield banging the wall next to me hoping it would stop the music pounding in my ears.

I saw Seth jump up on the bed looking at me like I was a three headed monster.

"What?" I asked and saw him shake his head no.

He knows the deal already.

I'm not a smooth guy and everyone knows it anyway.

I have a big headache and I haven't slept all night so excuse me for being rude.

I hate living in this dorm.

I always had my on room, privacy and no one around to bug me. My sisters left home to go to college five years ago but even when they were home - I was a kid and the one making all the noise.

I hate this place! You have no privacy, you have to go by other's rules and the worst part is being polite with people I despise like that sissy Seth.

I hate homos and I despise every one of them but I have to be polite because we sleep in the same room and who knows what he could do to me -when I'm asleep?

He might even stick his dick in my ass and then I'd have to kill him.

Then what would I say to Bella?

"Sorry bunny I just killed your best friend 'cause he stuck his dick up my hole?"

That'd just be the cherry on top of the cake -I just fucked last night.

I really fucked things up last night with Bella, I just know it.

I fell in love with her knowing she had a boyfriend and I knew I had to be patient - play the good friend role just waiting for him to screw up.

_I was almost there_.

_I just knew it. _

She was already tired of his lack of response to her calls and she was ready to kick his ass.

She tries not to show too much emotion but I know she hates when she calls home and has no response from him.

I also know for a fact she doesn't love him. For what I know about her parents their mainly the reason she's still with him.

That's why I keep around her. Just one more wrong move and he'll be history.

_Then he decides to come to her birthday party_

_Shit!_

I can't top that. I'm only the thoughtful and listening friend that's always around her.

I listen when she whines about -when her parents caught them making out and they punished her from parties for a month.

She also whines about how they managed to keep the relationship secret from her parents - until some son of a bitch told her father she was with him at a party - after the current punishment was up.

After that they would go pick her up form school and never let her go to parties.

That was a year ago… I think. Some details just go blur.

_Why do I care? _

I can pretend to listen but I don't have to stick with all the details. It's not natural.

I'm a guy for crying out loud! Not friend material! I just wanna fuck her and be with her.

Ok, that just sounded bad but it's the truth.

She's gorgeous and has everything in all the right places.

Her body is one of the sexiest things I've seen since… well ever.

I get a hard on just thinking about her with that blue bikini - when school started.

We spent the whole summer in this school after high school finished and on the weekends we would go to the beach.

We have friends in common and she goes to the same beach - that was how I met Isabella Swan.

I remember she was in her towel chatting with her dorm mates and our ball hit her right in the head.

When I approached her, the vision of her body was overwhelming and I had an instant hard on.

She didn't get mad about the ball and even threw it back to me.

She stood up letting me see the whole 8th wonder of the world.

I just knew I had to have her... no matter what.

I apologized for the ball incident and asked her if she wanted to play with the guys because with a punch like that she must be a volleyball player.

She fell for it and started giggling saying she wasn't into sports and I was lucky she didn't hit me in the balls.

That was it.

Join a sexy body and a mention to my balls and here we go.

I could imagine what she'd do with my balls if she wanted.

I punched the volleyball to my friends and sat by her instantly and didn't even mind the protest coming from my friends -with a now absent member on their team.

From that day on we would go to the beach, study, lunch with Alice and chaperone Seth.

_God I hate that fag!_

For three months I heard all about their life's and I had to play a long being the "friend" with Seth even when he would stare at me -when I'd forget he was in the room and come out of the shower naked.

_All of this for nothing!_

Last night I was frightened by the thought that she'd be staying with James, so I dared her to bite me.

I knew she would go for it.

Hell I'm just her friend right? I've been next to her the last three months and never did anything more than cheek kisses when we saw each other every morning.

That bite on my tongue was one of the sexiest experiences ever and I just let my lips close on her mouth, simply enjoying the feeling.

Her lips where so sweet yet soft -I could just kiss her all night.

Then miss smart ass had to cut my pleasure and that other dude

_What's his name again?_

I blamed myself for everything and blamed the buzz too. They all felt so sorry for me that I actually felt miserable -for a split second.

I told them that I loved her and would even talk to James if I got her into trouble with him.

Miss smart ass told me she would deal with it and that they'd already left together.

I was so jealous that -that stupid jerk was going to sleep with Bella -after everything he did to her.

He's going to have her all night and you know what could happen?

After all they were apart for three months and I couldn't believe he'd keep that stupid no sex rule.

_I wouldn't._

I would push her slowly, dare her maybe and let her feel how much a body can feel when you're touched the right way.

I bet he never tried that but even so, he spent the night with her.

_My bunny._

Oh I could imagine him fucking her like a one of those wild rabbits.

My whole body was trembling and on fire… just the thought of his hands around her, made my skin crawl.

His lips kissing … those sweet perfect lips of hers.

Another man inside my perfect girl and making her scream his name -with every last gasp of air in her lungs.

I tried to banish those thoughts because my hard on was starting to hurt. With all that rage… feelings I'd have a dick attack soon instead of a heart attack.

I stood up and went to the table were Seth was having his coffee, wishing I'd go across the hall get one for me too, but the thought of the sunshine in my eyes was enough to forget that.

The letter I started for Bella at 5 AM was still on top of the table waiting for me to finish it.

I thought that maybe writing a letter would be better than talking to her.

I really don't know what happened between her and James and just in case he didn't see that crazy kiss… this would be smooth enough and maybe I could save the day.

I looked at Seth and took a deep breath

"Hey man, have you heard from Bella yet?"

He looked at his cell shaking his head no and replied

"Nope, she hasn't answered my text yet. I suppose that means everything's ok" he went back to reading his book.

He must have seen that I didn't move… so he looked at me.

"Is there anything else?"

_Here goes nothing. _

"Seth could I ask you two major favors?" I swallowed my pride because at times like this all the help is welcomed right?

"Shoot" he was still looking at me but now - without the other two heads.

"Would you go get some coffee from the machine for me? I have to finish this letter for Bella and maybe you could deliver it to her?" I asked trying my best to be humble.

"Sure, no problem, you have yours with sugar and milk right?"

_Who has coffee with milk and sugar?_

I grabbed my wallet from my jeans pocket and handed him some coins "Straight please."

"Oh and about the letter… why don't you give it to her?"

_Ass fucker if I could I wouldn't be asking, right?_

"I'm heading down town. Have a … thing to do" I wasn't going to explain what I do almost every Saturday afternoon.

"Oh, ok. No problem I'll give it to her. Promise!" he showed his fingers up like those scouts' oaths.

_Problem solved. _

He went outside to grab my straight coffee and I sat at the table looking at the letter.

_Bunny,_

_Please don't be mad at me. Promise me that. I did dare you knowing in advance you couldn't fight that even drunk. For that I'm sorry._

_I'm not sorry I kissed you though._

_I loved that sweet kiss with all my heart. It's been hard to forget the feeling of your soft lips on mine and I was awake all night wondering if you remember the kiss because I'll remember that until the end of my days._

_I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. Remember that day on the beach?_

_After these past three months the feeling just grew inside my heart and I just waited for you._

_I know you don't love James. You already told me that so I was hoping that maybe you could fall in love with me._

_I fucked up I know. I just should back away from you. I should have never tried to be your friend feeling what I feel for you._

_But I couldn't. I was weak and now I've hurt you. I hope you didn't get into trouble with James because of me._

Ok this is good. I just have to put in some more things and it's a go.

_Bella as you know I usually go down town for most of the weekends and because I don't have classes next Monday I'm staying until Tuesday morning._

_I'll see you then if you still want to talk to me. _

_If you need anything and I mean anything at all please text me and I'll call you as soon as I can. Promise._

_If you ever get sad remember our friend song that could and should be our love song._

_I'll Stand By you_

_Love you Bunny_

_Jake_

After reading the letter again I put it in an envelope and licked the glue sealing it with a kiss.

Call me what you want.

I love her and I really hope she forgives me.

I wrote her name in the envelope and before I could throw it down onto the table, Seth came back.

I thanked him with a wink and took my coffee.

"Thanks man".

I gave him the envelope.

"Please give this to Bella after I leave ok?"

He looked at me again and was probably regretting already what he'd promised he'd do for me.

"You didn't write anything bad did you?"

_And why is that any of your business you fag?_

"No I could never talk down to her. I'm just writing to say how sorry I am about last night. That's all"

He looked like he didn't believe me so I went on

"Look, we don't have classes Monday, right?" He nodded his head agreeing.

"Because all of this mess I'll stay down town with my friend and let's see what happens Tuesday" I said sipping more coffee.

I could see he was happy with this so I went to the window to kill the conversation.

This weekend is going to be great. I'm staying at a friend's place...a female friend…a hot female friend -with privileges and what a privilege it is to stay in her bed for hours! She's my guilty pleasure and my release for the past three months.

_What? I'm young and single! I need sex and the hotter the better!_

Just remembering her and our sex sessions… made me hard again so I went to take a cold shower -before going out.

This will be a great weekend if I just forget about last night.

**BPOV**

My mouth was dry. My eyes where almost blind and the noises of silverware on the plates were miles away.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

_Where did all this love for me come from?_

_James, Jake?_

Reading Jake's letter again I tried to remember if I ever did anything that could make this happen.

Sure I think he's hot. Yes I think he's a good friend and listens to me. Yes I like him as my friend but love?

I mean love like in a relationship between a man and a woman?

_I don't think so. _

_That's not what I feel for him at all, or is it?_

_Shit! What the hell?_

I'm confused about all of this and reading Jake's letter didn't help a bit.

OK, time to think.

I stood up from the chair in a jump and the girls jumped in their chairs looking at me.

"Bella, what now?" Alice as usual is the first to talk.

"Girls, I have to think. I have to be alone. I'll just go outside don't worry about me."

"Bella please finish your lunch first" then she slapped Seth's arm "I told you she had to eat first. You should listen to me!"

Seth looked so compromised since he gave me the envelope… that I just wouldn't let her do that to him.

"Alice, get a grip! He was just trying to help and I wasn't hungry anyway".

Seth winked at me but his face was still… just odd.

"Seth, please forget Alice. I have enough to think about and you two fighting isn't good for me right now" I pointed at them

"I love both of you and I know you love me enough to never let me get hurt so don't fight. Deal?" I asked looking at them.

They both nodded their heads agreeing…like I knew they would.

My two best friends love each other too so I bet this will be over…even before I walk out the door.

I knew exactly where the perfect place to go was.

The backyard of our dorm was always so peaceful and since it was Saturday I knew I wouldn't see a soul.

I enjoyed the salty breeze on my face.

The sun is not so hot anymore but enough to allow me a pleasant walk.

There's something in this corner of nature that blends the green of the trees…with the blue sea that fascinates and calms me.

Following the paths made of dirt and flanked by small volcano rocks… I found myself near the old windmill.

I sat down on the bench and prepared myself for all those thoughts that should come out soon.

So my friend is in love with me… and I'm not in love with him.

_Great start genius!_

What am I gonna do?

He has listened to most of my problems and my thoughts about James… for the past three months. He knows I don't love James but even then he didn't do anything about it… he just listened.

Do I wish he'd do anything? I'm not sure.

He's nice to me… although I think he's a little harsh and stubborn sometimes.

He listens to me and even found out that great song, "our friendship song", that he'd listen to over and over again.

_I'll stand by you_

_Won't let anyone hurt you _

_I'll stand by you_

_So if you're mad, get mad_

_Don't hold it all inside_

_Come on and talk to me now_

I should know better.

I don't have a friendship song with Seth and he's my best friend!

I continue to sing the song and let my thoughts go in the lyrics

_Hey, what you got to hide?_

_I get angry too_

_Well I'm a lot like you_

_When you're standing at the crossroads _

_And don't know which path to choose _

_Let me come along_

'_cause even if you're wrong_

_I'll stand by you_

…

**APOV**

I saw my best friend go out the door and slapped Seth again.

"See? She didn't eat!" I pointed to her full plate

"What do you want Al? She's a grown up. If she's hungry… she'll eat."

"Alice" I turned to Jessica seeing Angela put her hand on top of her shoulder and waited for her to go on.

"Alice, you know it's not Seth's fault. You would do the same thing. She asked for Jacob even before she said good morning to Seth".

I thought about that for a moment, she's probably right. I'm being a bitch but I hate seeing my girl like that.

"Yeah, I think you're right." I kissed Seth's cheek and with my sorry face on just said "Love ya, sorry"

"No problem honey. I'm just as worry as you are and this whole thing is driving me crazy to. Believe me… sleeping in Jacob's room isn't easy. If she falls for him - witch I doubt by the way…"

When Seth starts you can't shut him up so all of this was said without a breath… so he took a big breath and went on

"…our friendship will be history. That guy will never let her hang out with me he's a homophobic and I bet he'll do anything to keep me away from him."

I wasn't surprise at all. Although I accept that Jacob has been great with Bella these past few months -I don't really like him.

He's this kind of show off guy that seems… I don't know…something in front of Bella and something else entirely…when she's not around.

Seth is right. I know he only tolerates Seth and me because we're Bella best friends but he doesn't care about us at all.

Last night I intervened even though I knew he would beat me… when I pushed Bella away from him.

His big eyes were wide open and his face had a monster shadow about it that frightened me but I was strong for Bella.

Ok she didn't love James.

Their story should've been over two years ago but it wasn't and she would hate if James ever saw her kissing another guy…even drunk.

That's another thing...how did she get so drunk?

We party a lot and –I'm sorry to say- we drink a lot and I don't remember seeing Bella so clouded like last night.

I hope she didn't smoke anything besides her usual…night out normal cigarettes.

"All of this is so fucken crazy!" I looked at them and they were all worried with my recent absence that I changed the subject.

"So, what should we do today?"

They thought about it a while and Angela was the first to speak up.

"What do you think about going down town? Maybe watch a movie or something?"

Jessica was next.

"I'm not in for movie but going down town seems good to me".

Then it was Seth's turn.

"Count me in. I have to buy another technical book about transmissions. I don't have classes Monday and watching TV on a daily routine isn't good for my brain".

Seth is a very intellectual type but also very good with mechanics.

He reads and writes a lot most of the time…we don't even read what he writes.

Sometimes I feel sorry for my friend. Being guy in a place this small with all those phobic's around must be hard but. But Seth is very strong too.

He's in love and loved back by Paul but Paul stayed home.

Paul's father has one of those small shops that sell's everything for cars…for all sort of brands.

They actually met because of that.

Seth has always been good with cars and bikes so then one day he has looking for something-don't ask what – and he went to Paul's shop.

I was with him 'cause he was my ride that day and I instantly saw that those two clicked.

Of course many other parts went messing at Seth's workshop and he always had an excuse to go there.

Paul was throw into the same problem with his family about his homosexuality and was at first… very reluctant to let Seth in his life but one day he just asked him out and since that day they fight their battles together.

_I love them _

They never show much when we're in public but when it's only our group they look like any other couple I know.

Hell even Jasp likes them!

_I know right? Why shouldn't he?_

Jasper was a little reluctant at first to let them in but with a lot of talk and watching how great they look together he just went with it.

Now nobody can talk back about Seth and Paul or he'll start a fight.

That's my trouble maker and love of my life Jasper!

Fuck I miss him so much.

Ok I was out again and the guys were talking to Edward

_Huh? When did he arrive?_

"Hi Edward, I'm sorry I was absent for a while".

His smile was so warm and sweet…it made me feel like a little kid looking at Santa.

A Fucking' Hot Santa.

"No problem Alice, they told me you sometimes go away for a while" He winked and I felt like that little kid again.

"So, what are you guys doing today?"

I looked to my friends and then back up to Edward.

"We were just discussing that right now."

Seth started to laugh.

"No honey, we already decided to go down town shopping and you're coming too because I don't want you to get robbed in one of your absences"

I blushed. That's me after all.

I look up… up to Edward again.

"You're coming?"

_Oh my god… that smile._

"No thanks, maybe next time. I'll just hang around listening to my music" he tapped his Walkman.

"Ok it's a future date" I know I blushed again.

_What are you thinking Alice?_

"I mean…" he cut me off.

"I get it. Next time you go down town…I'll go" and winking his left eye for only me to see he said "it's a date".

I'm in trouble with this guy…

I smile widely to him and then to my speechless friends

"Ok then, would you do me a favor? If you see Bella let her know where we went? I don't wanna interrupt her… meditation" and then my face fell again "Tell her I'll call her later"

I swear I saw his face enlighten! And that smile… even wider confused me.

"Bella ? Of course I'll be glad to… I mean if I cross her path anyway"

_Huh?_

"Thank you Edward and have a great afternoon"

I didn't expect his last words just before he walked away

"I'm sure it's going to be great!"

**The music reference is "I'll stand by you" by The Pretenders.**

**Thanks for reading and please review**


	4. Chapter 4

**As you know already I own nothing.**

**I mention the music that inspires me in each chapter. Old good stuff if you ask me..**

**I have to thank my Beta's ****AELGP**** and ****pixie-belle88**** for being so patient with me. Both of you work hard to make this story shine.**

**Even if my story hasn't many readers at this point I have to admit this has been an adventure and the girls on twitter help me just by being there.**

**Girls it's an honour to be a member of PG Club.**

**For your love and support thanks again ****TWILIFE2011**** and ****kewlwhip****, salt and pepper of my life.**

**Thanks to those anonymous readers for reading.**

**Now, time to dive **

**EPOV**

I put my headphones back and as the sound of "Dirty Dancing soundtracks" filled my ears I felt like dancing -hearing "Be may baby".

_What? I'm a guy but still… I can listen to musical soundtracks right?_

I have this thing about music that sometimes confines even me.

I love listening to all kinds of music.

Soundtracks, love songs, rock, opera, everything.

Hell I even have "Demis Roussos" Best songs ever on tape!

I love music and that's it.

Almost every song has a meaning and even when they don't I still love the beat.

Music can break the ice and for a geek like me it works wonders.

Not that I need that anymore around here.

Jessica is my friend since…I don't know… ever?

Angela will good for her. I just know it. It's a matter of time, before they declare their love for each other and I'm ok with it. She's very nice and sweet and cares for Jessica.

Seth is Seth. Always a fun interesting guy to talk to and that never talks back. To me that is. I never gave him a reason for that. I could care less if he likes pussy or dick.

As long as he doesn't like mine we'll be ok. But I already know that he has a thing going on and he seems happy with it… so we're good.

Alice…Oh that Alice! She's a cute little thing but most of times seems like she's on another planet.

When I arrived at their table she was "out of it" like they usually say about her strange absences.

She didn't even notice I was there until she landed back on earth again.

She's so cute.

When she blushes she just makes me wanna squeeze her in my arms like my own personal teddy bear like when I was four.

But she's very strong too, a fearless protective bear . I saw that last night.

She defend her friend from Jacob's trap and didn't step back even at his enraged face.

_Ok, why I'm I thinking about last night again?_

_You know exactly why! It's that girl Bella again._

I couldn't stop thinking about her. Just the mention of her name made those miscellaneous feelings came out again.

What she did was just like what Tanya did so I resent her for that, but she looked so sweet. She's beautiful.

I wish …I could be close to her and hold her in my arms…most of all I wish I could meet her again and start from the beginning because I'd like to be her friend.

I…I… forget it. I'm just… I don't know really… what more can I think?

Jessica says I think too much. Maybe she's right.

Jess says that Bella is a great friend too.

I knew just where I has heading and was almost in the same spot I was last week… behind the female dorm close to the windmill.

This place is peaceful and the smooth breeze is relaxing.

No need for music now. I'll just breathe the clean air. Relax …

Then I heard mumbling and looked around.

Sitting on the bench was a brown haired girl and I got nervous because my whole body already knew what my mind hadn't figured out yet.

There she was my personal interior conflict.

The girl that makes me feel… resent, hate, sweetness and protective instincts all the same time.

What I'm a supposed to do… just go to her?

What can I say?

What will come out my mouth when I start talking?

Hate?

I'm afraid of which feeling is stronger.

I stood there just staring at her.

Then she noticed me and turned her back.

_Have I told you before she's beautiful?_

Her outstanding features just melt in a perfect symphony, which made my heart sing. My soul was somehow connected to those beautiful brown eyes.

_What the hell am I saying?_

I shook my head to make those thoughts go away because I knew that if I keep thinking like this I'd ask her to marry me.

_That's scary crazy shit to say before hello._

I approached the bench slowly. I could see confusion on her face and took a deep breath.

"Hi! I know you might not recognize me. I'm Edward Cullen"

More confusion rained over her face.

"I'm a friend of Jessica…" She cut me off

"Yes. I know. Jessica's friend and one of my saviors last night. Hi I'm –as you know- Bella Swan nice to finally meet you!"

_What?_

Why would she want to meet me. Maybe because of last night ?

Maybe she was ashamed or something.

Maybe she just wants one more guy around her, like she doesn't have enough trouble with the ones she already knows…

I shook my head again. I'm sure by now she thinks I'm a windmill myself.

"And why is that?"

She was staring at me and I was uncomfortable with this short conversation already

"I … I wanted to meet you. That's all"

_Really?_

"I mean… you're practically Jessica's brother and she's my friend and dorm mate so…"

I just stood there listening with this feeling of awkwardness… would it ever go away?.

"…and you did help me last night - Thanks by the way – so of course I wanted to meet you."

I smiled. At least now I know why she did want to meet me and I just had to ask.

"So … how did things go last night? Were you in trouble?"

I saw her inquisitive face and it became clear.

"Jacob told me you have a boyfriend and that he was there."

I bent my head because I was really sorry for her, for Jacob and for me… for getting in this drama.

Why did I have to go to that party last night? Damn you Jessica!

_No. I should say thank you Jessica._

"James didn't see a thing and I can't really remember what I did".

She lifts an envelope showing it to me.

"If it wasn't for this and for the girls letting me know…"

I was intrigued. What was in that envelope? Might as well ask her.

"Jacob wrote me a letter. He knew I was drunk and would never let a challenge go without taking it."

She went on.

"In this letter he says he loves me but I bet you already know that too, right?"

I nod

"And now I just don't know how to feel about that. So you know everything about this story what do you think?"

_I'm in trouble. Should I just run?_

"Well… let's see… you have a boyfriend"

"Had" – she cut me off

"What, I though you said he didn't see the kiss?"

She stood up and ran one hand down her thigh but I couldn't see anything dirty if you count out my sudden thoughts…

"He didn't. Our story was over a long time ago. I'm not even sure if we had a story after all."

She took a few steps slipping the folded envelope into her back pocket.

"I would like to go on with this but I bet my friends are looking for me."

"Not really" and when I saw her question look… I told her

"They went down town. Alice asked me to tell you… if we met"

"Oh… OK… and you're not going?"

_Did I just see a little hope smile?_

"Nope. I'm not going anywhere so I'm all ears."

She giggled. Finally some joy in that face.

"Are you sure you're up to listening to me?" she asked with a genuine smile

"I'll be glad to hear whatever you have to say"

Another giggle. This was going better than I thought.

"Well, James and I were together for three years. Last night was a kind of test. He wanted to be sure… I could never love him but I could still be his friend"

"You see, he knows I only like him a lot and never loved him. I knew that to but I was going on with it"

She sat at the bench again.

"You know already I cover all challenges right? So since my parents told me about 2 years ago to break up with James… I just couldn't help it."

"I used to go to the pub where he works. He's a bartender there, so I just hung out with our friends and it was nice. I felt a little like I was part of something"

"One day my father caught us making out and because he's a bartender and drinks -a lot by the way- and smokes weed -my father grounded me."

I sat right next to her -still looking at her.

"We kept in touch for another year. The island isn't that big right?"

She didn't wait for the obvious answer.

"When he couldn't visit me at school I'd skip classes to be with him. Sometimes I could go out with my brother but I could never be with James alone."

"My parents never knew and they would kill my brother if they found out he was covering up for me."

"My older sister never told them either. Sometimes we met at her restaurant when I would help out."

"With my brother's help I was released from that punishment and with that we started going out again -until one day some fucker told my dad he saw us."

"That was four months ago"

Since I was coming over here my father told me that if he ever caught me again he wouldn't let me come here"

"The summer began and with all the visitors to the island our lives became more complicated"

"Sometimes 'ld talk to him at the phone and he went to my farewell party".

"Then I came here and haven't spoken to him until yesterday. He wouldn't answer the cell and when I called work he was always busy. This morning he just said we were over and could be friends and I left."

"I hope he meets someone that deserves him and loves him the way I couldn't."

She stood up and got closer to the cliff.

Listening to this outflow I just realize that I couldn't hate Bella.

Yes she was stubborn.

She didn't like to be told what to do either but that was one of those things that you're born with.

Sometimes you can't avoid it.

It's a part of who you are and changing that, is changing a big part of you.

I could notice that Bella wasn't that girl I imagined her to be. She was hurt because she felt like she failed James. She didn't cheat on James. She cheated herself in trying to love someone.

I bet she has a secret war going on inside of her.

A part of her wishes the challenge would go on but the other part loves the freedom of it.

I look at her. She was staring at the sea and I walked towards her.

"Bella, what you told me was a very sad story of a stubborn young girl that won't do what her parents want."

She turned and looked me in the eyes.

"That's common you know? The only difference is that you could have ruined your life if James didn't break up with you. Imagine your life, married to him in a few years just because your parents said no"

It was like she never thought of that. I could see the surprise on her face.

"You could've ruined your life and James's too."

"Fortunately for both of you, James got tired and I can imagine how hard it was for him to leave you."

She was still looking in my eyes and I became was lost in them.

"If Jacob really loves you, he'll wait -until you're ready. If you two are meant to be it will happen. If not it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault! You can't command your heart to love a certain person just because that person loves you."

So much love around this girl and she's just lost.

I wished I could just vanish everyone that's surrounding her and keep her here safe with me.

This is definitely my favorite place in the world right now.

Finally that protective feeling I had for her reached my arms and I just had to hug her.

I couldn't imagine that she would hold on so tight and start to cry. She cried for a long time and I just hugged her -rocking her to calm her down.

I could smell the strawberries from her hair and I found the aroma to be intoxicating.

When I thought she was done crying, I pulled her away and whiped her wet face with my sleeve -holding her hanks with both my hands and placed them on each side of her face.

I held her chin looking straight in her eyes and with all those miscellaneous feelings I had before were gone as I kissed her.

It was a brief kiss but one of the strongest and sweetest ones I've ever had.

I felt like my whole body was bound to hers and although my mind was telling me to let her go -my hands weren't going to.

I couldn't move. If I did I would lose all balance and fall.

Those brief seconds were enough for me to feel something I couldn't describe. It was something I never felt before… and I was afraid of it.

"Bella you deserve to be happy. You deserve to fall in love with someone and be happy until you grow old together."

"Let these past three years stay where they belong. As a memory of what you can't repeat."

"Party while you're young. Love a lot or not at all but don't repeat the mistake of going against what your parents tell you."

She was so quiet and I was feeling like an old man right now so I went for an attempt to lighten up the conversation

"Wanna hear some music I'm listening to? It's "Dirty Dancing soundtrack. Have you seen the movie?"

She giggled and knew exactly what she was thinking

"Ok I know its weird stuff for a guy to be listening to …but I like music…"

She nodded and with a remaining sad smile she took the headphones from my hands

I knew which song was next. _"She's like the wind"_ was probably not the perfect song for her right now but it has a soft and peaceful melody that makes us relax.

After a while she took the headphones off.

"Thank you Edward. I love this song."

Good… now what should I do?

"Hey, do you wanna go inside. The sun is going down and dinner will be in…" I peeked at my watch "… In about 20 minutes"

_Where did the time go?_

I wish we could stay out here the whole night but she needs to eat.

I was about to turn around to walk back when she gently grabbed my sleeve.

"Edward, thank you very much for everything. Without knowing me at all you helped more than any of my friends would."

I put my arms around her shoulders and pushed her to me.

"That means we're friends right? So… friend.. let' eat!"

We went inside in silence and it was the most peaceful and grateful walk I ever had.

**BPOV**

My head was so clear and full at the same time that I just couldn't stop smiling.

I feel happy without a special reason and that emptiness I felt before was gone.

Talking to Edward -a stranger- had proven to myself that I should just let everything behind in my life.

It's not like I'm heart broken, right?

And if Jacob loves me what can I do about that? Nothing at all. I didn't ask for that.

I just have to stick with this and feel for myself. Let my heart command myself and forget a bit about my mind.

And then there's Edward.

He didn't ask for anything. He just listens. He comforts me and then talks to me.

He held me while I was crying and even whipped my face... so sweet.

And then that kiss that made me feel like I had a hundred butterflies inside my stomach.

If he wasn't holding me I would've fallen.

It was like the ground was moving in circles making me dizzy without -moving at all.

And that I never felt before.

Sure I had kissed more guys in my life- besides James – they were just… kisses.

I never felt the urge to hold anybody close to me and never let them go.

That's the way I felt with Edward. I wished the night would never end.

That's why I invited him to the pub after dinner.

Spending more time with him was the only thing I wanted right now.

We had dinner alone just talking about everything.

Music, books tv shows, his life on the mainland and about his family. There was no rush but the subjects just kept changing as we spoke naturally.

Alice called as promised and told me they were having pizza down town and would be home before the gates closed.

Being Saturday night they close gates at midnight so I still have two more hours with Edward.

Edward was at the bar getting our orange juices.

No coke or alcohol for me today.

I really don't need more excitement today and he admitted that too.

He even said he had a more exciting company that any alcohol or drug could give him.

That's cute. Odd … but cute.

It seems like we're in sync now because I felt the same.

Odd I know… and I just couldn't stop looking at him.

He's unique.

Tall and muscular but not like those workout guys. Nothing misplaced and is in all right proportions –in all the right places.

Well, something was out of place...his hair. Its seemed like those bronze locks of hair just couldn't stay still.

I noticed when we were outside that most of time his hand would be pulling the strands upwards

Not that the hair is that long to cover his eyes but seems like the hair just won't stay in place.

And that is a sexy but also funny move that he does all the time.

I bet he doesn't even notice he does it so many times either. Like a nervous twitch.

Right now he's doing that.

He's still waiting to be served and I can see that he's almost losing it so the hand just goes up and through his hair.

That's so sexy…

I never felt so attracted to a guy like this so I guess that sexy is the best I can say about that.

Finally served with a glass on each hand I saw him coming my direction and I became ecstatic again.

That hot guy was with me

_YYYEEESSS!_

I can barely recognize myself. I was never one of those girls that looked at men's body like this.

I mean, I'm not blind but staring at a guy and measuring every inch of his body isn't something I'm used to doing.

That's more Alice's style. She contemplates a guy top to bottom but then she'll just compare him to Jasp . She can even tell if a guy is well gifted or not.

I never understood that…

I'm 18, I have a brother, I watch movies but that doesn't mean I know a lot about dicks.

For me it's just something they have and that most women get pleasure with.

Oh… and it gets hard.

About the size? Really I don't see what's the big deal?

Swinging at the sound of UB40's "I can't help falling in love with you" there was my savior with my orange juice, right in front of me smiling so widely that his eyes were smiling too.

The music wasn't as loud as I remembered from last night so we could talk and I was all for it. After a sip of my juice I had to do something.

"Thanks for the drink. You like this song too?"

"Yep, like I told you I like all sort of music. If it has a beat I'm in."

He picked the glass from my hand again and put in top of the window balcony.

Then he took my right hand and put his other on the small of my back and started swinging again but now with me in his arms.

I love to dance and with this man holding me it could be anything -or nothing- at all.

I would stay in his arms forever.

"_Some days were meant to be_

_Take my hand _

_Take my whole life too_

_But I can't help_

_Falling in love with you"_

We looked in each other eyes and no words were needed.

Finally I knew what it felt like to fall in love.

After all this time I finally knew what those butterflies were… the ones that Alice would always go on about.

_You know that feeling of wanting someone so bad that you want to hold on forever?_

_The feeling that if he lets you go you'll fall and never get up?_

How is this even possible? I just met Edward today!

What I'm I going to do? What can I say?

The music finished and "Mr. Vain" was up next so it was impossible to slow dance but Edward wouldn't let me go.

His eyes had this light in them like my own private guiding star and I was lost on them.

These new feelings all around me were too much and I forgot to breathe. I took a deep breath and that made me cough.

Edward tapped my back loosening the embrace but with his other hand still holding mine.

I had to have some fresh air so I let his hand take my glass and told him I was going outside.

He followed me without a word.

They wouldn't be needed after that dance.

I could feel he was as shaky as I but he didn't try to do a just stood next to me without any physical contact.

There was no need

_Our minds and hearts were hand in hand._

This new feeling for me was suffocating me, even outside with the cold breeze and I couldn't stop thinking about how people manage to live with all this feelings inside of them.

All of this was excruciating and it was hard for me to concentrate on anything else… other then jumping in to his arms.

And that was another new feeling I had.

Passion.

The need of touching Edward's whole body and finding every little thing on his body with my hands. The need of kissing every inch of that perfect body right next to me… And all of this in just a few hours.

I was in love with Edward Cullen!

**So? what do you think? Review please. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I own nothing as you all know.**

**This week, it's a pleasure to announce that my Beta pixie-belle88 , was nominated for Best New Author in Avant Garde Awards. She's really good and deserves this. **

**Also my beta for the past four chapters AELGP 's story Marital Psychosis, was nominated for Best Realistic Lemon and Best Jacob .**

**I think these girls are great writers and deserve the nominations and I'm very proud and happy for them.**

**They're also other nominations like My Heart's Redemption by MY DAUGHTER BELLA, Quiet Storm, by SexyLexiCullen**** ; Scars and Souvenirs**** by ashma0407**** and Shattered****by MelissaMargaret **

**I hope they all have their chance because they really deserve it, as great author's they are and with strong stories.**

**So, go to avantgardeawards(dot)com and vote for first round to give these author's and stories a chance of winning.**

**After this, just want to thank my girls on twitter for everything. You girls are great and make me smile every day and without you... you know what. ly all**

**APOV**

_My love_

_I know we talk every day, even twice some days, but I felt the need to write you this letter to tell you what's happening._

_I know you hate when I write you because you feel like you have to answer. Know what? I don't need you to. I'm writing this letter and I know already what you'd say._

_I know you're curious about your sister and I avoid your questions all the time, but believe me when I say she's fine. I can assure you she's more than fine._

_Remember that happy smile she used to have two years ago? And when little Cris was born?_

_That's how she's smiling this past week._

_I know what you're thinking babe and I feel it too. She's happier now without James in her life._

_We did right, helping her for the past two years. Don't feel sad for that, it was what she wanted at the time._

_We did what we could to let her know that without love, a relationship is an empty bag that will be filled with sadness and in ultimate stage rage. Yes Babe, I know you're thinking about Rose, but at least she has little Cris to love._

_Bella spends all of her free time with me, Seth, Ang, Jess and Edward. Yes babe, that guy you've never heard about before. He's a mainlander and Jessica's best friend. He's great with all of us and very handsome. Ok, more than handsome but let's keep it that way._

_Jasper Swan! Don't get all jealous. Focus!_

_Babe, Edward has brought so much happiness to your sister that sometimes it's like looking at a mirror when you're by my side._

_Like me, she's still happy when he's not around for some reason, but when he arrives … Babe, I'm telling you, and it's like a sunflower. She looks at him and she opens a smile so wide that even I feel the energy._

_Don't worry, yet I mean, they're not dating. The're just friends._

_With that said, we have all gained a friend because he's really great that way and makes us all feel good, always making jokes although most of the time they aren't funny! But we laugh anyway. _

_Edward looks at Bella the same way you look at me. They're in love with each other but won't admit it!._

_I know babe, I get it. She just left one relationship and starting a new one at this point can be a bad thing. Believe me; it wouldn't matter if they did it. Their meant to be together_

_Like you and me._

_I love you Jasp, with all my heart and miss you every second we're apart but I don't feel sad when you're not with me. We're meant to be together, like soul mates._

_Bella and Edward love each other. Everyone can see that and I think they know it too but their just enjoying the time they spend together._

_Sometimes I watch those two looking to each other and I melt with all the warmth. You know me. I can handle a bull by the horns but I go all week at the knees with a romance._

_So these are the facts. _

_Don't say a word to Bella about this and please don't tell Rose. She can be a bitch sometimes and would probably say something to Bella or even worse tell your parents._

_When we come home for Christmas you'll see such a difference in her._

_Love of my life, I promised you I'd look out for Bella and this is me keeping my promise. I love my sister and if she does anything to hurt herself again I'll try to stop her but I can't stop her from loving Edward._

_Have faith in destiny and let's hope all of this never ends._

_By the way, you'll like Edward I just know it. _

_Remember always that I love you and that no matter how far we're apart we'll always be together_

_Yours Forever_

_xoxo_

_Alice_

After reading my letter over for the second time I realized that I didn't miss anything important so it was time to send it.

I grabbed my purse and just before I went out the door I told Jessica and Angela where I was heading.

I had to call Jasper to get near the fax machine so nobody would get the letter I was about the send him.

I know I could wait for Monday to send it by mail but I couldn't stand another day without telling him the facts about Bella's sudden happiness.

He was suspicious at first about the whole James thing and then when he heard Bella's voice he asked me what was going on. I tried to avoid the subject every single call for the last week and it was killing me. I have never kept a secret from Jasper.

After I left the female dorm I headed to the central building there wouldn't be a soul about.

This Saturday the school is even more quiet then usual so I guess I'll be lucky.

Passing the bar I waved at Bella and Edward. They were at the pool table playing and laughing. Well I think it's the other way around. They're laughing _and_ playing pool. So cute!

The last few days I tried to talk to Bella about Edward but all she'd say was they were friends and after three months without bumping on each other, they wanted to make things even.

_Ya right…_

If they spend more time together one day they'll beat the record of "The couple that spends more time together without dating"!

_Ok that didn't make sense at all. _

I admit. I'm a little bit jealous. Bella is my best friend and it's natural –I think- to be jealous. I mean, I'm happy for her like I said in my letter to Jasper but still…

I shook those thoughts away. My girl deserves to know what it means to _really _fall in love.

Before I approached the box office, I looked for my phone and called Jasper.

"Hello" Every single hair in my body stood up. This my friends, is the most electrifying voice I've heard… and it's all mine!

"Hey Babe"

"Love, what's up?" the way he calls me love melts me every time.

"Babe, I'm sending you a facsimile, can you get it now?"

"Sure thing love, what's it about?"

Here comes the tricky part.

"Babe, I don't want to talk about certain things on the phone. Read it and then if you feel the need, call me"

"Alice, you know I always feel the need to talk to you. Is everything ok?"

"Babe, everything's fine. I've told you this every single day. Just read it, I love you"

"Ok Al, whatever you say. Send it, I'll be waiting. Love you too."

I heard the kiss he sent me through the line and sent him one back before I hung up.

After sending the letter I decided to go eat something before Jasper's call. I know he won't be happy only with that letter and the conversation will be a long one.

When I went to the bar, Bella waved me over, I made a sign that I would get something to eat.

I was served my food and when I was turning around, I bumped in to something. Ok, not something, someone. _Edward._

"Hey Alice, why don't you join us? Were just playing around but if you want we can make it serious" he said in a playfull tone.

_Haven't I told you yet? I kick ass playing pool! Hell ya!_

"I can join you guys but I'm not playing today. I'm excepting Jas's phone call any minute now"

He looked at my hand and with a slick smile that could have meant so many different things.

"Preparing yourself for a romantic long talk with your love?"

I couldn't help blushing. This guy does that to me.

"No Edward, I'm hungry right now… but, if my romantic call takes all night, I'll be very well satisfied with it without needing food".

He shocked me with a loud laugh.

"Well, I'm impressed… Super Jasper can feed you only with a phone call".

_Told ya.. silly jokes…_but I still laugh at them.

"So you…" I jumped in the air with the sudden slap on my ass and when my feet where back on the floor, my fist was already on it's way to connect with someone's face.

"Hey ! It's me!" Fortunately my head command my fist to go lower and I hit Seth's stomach

"What the fuck Al? What's wrong with you?"

_I think sometimes I tend to exaggerate my reactions…. _

"Sorry Seth. Your already know this is private property and that's how I respond to slaps. You should know me!"

I looked at Seth's red face and before thinking about it I was already hugging him.

"Sorry love, I'm so… so sorry." I peck his lips.

"First you hit me, you squeeze that little body of yours in to mine and now a kiss? Get away from me before I take you to bed!"

_Yes, Seth is gay but he plays with girls like a straight guy._

"What's going on?" Bella said as she joined us

"This crazy little thing just harassed me! And now I'm taking her with me"

With those strong hard worked arms of his,he lifted me as if I was a feather and put me on his shoulders while I froze ,fearing I might hurt myself if I moved.

"Seth, put her down" I heard Bella behind me giggling.

"Yeah Seth, you better put her down before she kicks your balls" now it was giggling Edward's turn to tease me.

Finally with my feet on safe ground and blushing from top to bottom, I realized it was time to stop being the center of attention.

_Not that I don't like it but I had my share in the past minutes._

"Now that we're four let's play!" I grabbed Bella's arm and went to the table.

"Even for a girl you change your mind like lightening!" I heard Edward and my stomach remind me I was still hungry.

"I'll eat and play. If Jasper calls, Bella will have to take you both on" I waved my finger between the two boys.

"Jasp? What's wrong? Why is he calling you now? You guys usually talk in the morning or at night " Bella said with a nervous edge.

"Bella, your brother and I don't need schedules to talk to each other. He _may or may not _call and if he does I'll answer." I turned to Edward and understood by his wink that he wouldn't say a word about our earlier talk.

Bella raised her hands, as in surrender and passed me a cue stick.

"Let's kick these guy's asses!"

After Seth arranged the balls in the rack, Edward flipped a coin while Bella shouted "Heads!"

It was the boys to start so I bit my sandwich and Bella leaned to my ear whispering.

"Did you hear about Jacob?"

I almost chocked on my food not knowing where that statement came from and looked to her with my inquisitive stare because talking with my mouth full isn't a good idea, so i let her continue.

"Tuesday morning he called Seth to warn him he wasn't coming home for the rest of the week because he's recovering from food poisoning… it seems he's getting back tomorrow."

After I swallowed I asked how she knew this.

"Seth told Edward. I don't know why but it was supposed to be some kind of a secret. Seth was told to only tell the master teacher and no one else. But Seth thought Edward would like to know too."

I thought about that for a minute while Bella was on her way to the table.

With Bella's happiness and Edward always around, I hadn't even noticed Jacob wasn't around. Well, I don't like him, so no news on that front , but why the secret? And why didn't he call Bella? It's obvious now, thinking about it, that he spent the whole week without a word to his "supposed to be love of his life". What can he be doing that he doesn't what Bella to know? I knew he was trouble …Then Edward's voice came to my ears like an alarm "Alice to earth! It's your turn pretty lady"

I looked at Edward and wished I had a moment to talk to him…alone. Something was wrong with this story and I wasn't sure what to think about it.

_Great! I don't know if we're stripes or solid! I really need to stop thinking so much. _

I looked to Bella and she mumbled solid… ok,, now we're in the game!

**JPOV**

Finally it's Saturday! I can't stand this place any longer!

It's gonna take me a while before I come back to visit Lauren again. No way in the world I'll keep coming here every weekend!

I need the release but shit, what happened this week was fucked up!

When she knew I was coming Monday, it turned her world around. She made me breakfast, lunch, dinner and had even baked a cake for me. We went to the movies Sunday and I slept through almost the whole thing. I only woke up when I heard the screaming voice of the singer on it. I can't even remember its name. It was some lame thing about a famous singer and her bodyguard. Lauren was excited to see it because it was released in 1992 but she missed it and they were replying it again.

_Whatever_

After the movie was finished, she was still excited but in a way I can understand. It seems that the lead actor, the bodyguard, had that effect on her and we fucked all night while she sang one of the songs from the film, like the other chick on screen. Then she screamed my name. Now that is something I can relate to! Thank you bodyguard guy!

Monday morning she skipped her classes at college and pushed me through the damn city for hours and hours! She bought all sort of things for a special dish she was thinking on doing for dinner.

_Again… Whatever_

After a night without sleep and a lot of exercise, it was time to start heading home. With all those bags to carry I was about to call it a day and tell her I'd get in the next bus back to the dorm if she handed me any more bags to carry.

I was moody and I didn't hear from Bella in two days and all of this shit was just too much for me.

While Lauren was fixing dinner I went for a long shower and surprised the hell out of me when she came in and gave me a blow job. She said it was only to thank me for the shopping day. When I was about to thank her back she run off saying something about the dinner.

All dressed up for dinner I went to the kitchen and somehow the smell of the food made me choke. It was something in the air that went in my brain and I was immediately sick.

I drunk some red wine we bought and the nausea feeling was better.

We sat at the table and she gave me my plate.

It was a beautiful sight even for a guy like me. It had a chicken breast with some sort of yellow dressing on top. The rice was displayed in a small half ball and a very colorful salad was feeling the remaining space.

Her plate as usual was a colorful salad and nothing else. Chicks and diets…

We ate and drank two bottles of wine while watching TV.

When I offer to help with the dishes she giggled and said it wasn't needed and for me to sit and enjoy the show.

Beaten as I was, I fell asleep as soon I sat on the couch and the next thing I remember is waking up dizzy and feeling very sick. I went to the bathroom and threw all the dinner out, or so I thought.

Lauren came running asking what was wrong with me I think I lost at that point cause I shut, well slammed the door in her face while she was still standing there.

She yield in agony and I didn't hear her for a while.

After what seemed like hours and me still leaning by the toilet the shit was all out.

Then my stomach began to hurt like crazy and I started to take hot and cold sweats..

Lauren made me a tea and told me to drink but I didn't. I noticed she had a bruise on her right cheek and I felt guilty for that. _I have to learn to cool down sometimes._

After a while she took my temperature and said we had to go to the hospital because I had all the symptoms of food poising.

It's good that she's in nursing school, right?

After she checked me in at the hospital, she took upon herself to tell the doctor everything including the recipe for dinner. The doctor said it was a good thing we went to the hospital because it could be salmonella and said I was to have bed rest for a few days with lots of liquids and a special diet.

I could see that Lauren felt guilty about my condition, so when she offered to take care of me I didn't refuse. She asked the doctor if he could give us medical instructions for the diet and written letter which excused me from classes

After all the papers were done and already in her house I laid down and hell began!

She was always around half naked, making sure I was comfortable, giving me water and tea, toast, homemade jelly, crackers…

Fuck I was tired with all of this shit! I wish it was Sunday night and I could go back to the dorms. I couldn't leave, feeling like this and Lauren was my release so I didn't want to offend her and loose her at the same time. I was lucky she didn't say a thing about the door being slammed in her face.

Yesterday, when I was about to say how sorry I was, she shut me down and rode my dick me like crazy... _huh? _Not that I'm complaining. This chick is fucking awesome at that and I didn't have to do much. So I just lay back and let her take control.

But even sex isn't enough to keep me coming back next weekend. I miss Bella and I want to be with her. I have to find out what's going on. I know I should call her but after Seth told me she was ok I thought I might let her be alone for a while. I bet she would even want to see me and that's something I couldn't handle. Lauren is for sex and Bella… is Bella. No blending.

Thank god tomorrow is Sunday!

**BPOV**

After a wonderful afternoon with my lovely friends I was tired and needed a shower. It was hot and with all the goofing around with them playing, laughing and running I needed to clean up for the evening. Edward and I are going out for dinner. He said it was a way to celebrate our first week as friends. I thought it was so sweet that I couldn't say no. _One week_. It feels that I've known Edward for, well forever.

We spent almost every free minute together and it wasn't enough. Every night, when he comes with me to my dorm door, It seems like the day wasn't long enough for us to be together. I even thought about skipping classes but he said we have all our whole lives to be together if we wanted… _If I want? _I can't imagine my life without him now!

We joke about how was it possible that we never crossed paths before. This place is not that big after all!

We realized that he was spending too much time reading and I was spending too much time thinking that we never looked up. I still think it's a poor excuse but I can't find a better one.

What matters is that, now that we have met and I found love I'm happy.

After the kiss a week ago, we never kissed again and I was ok with it. I mean… not totally ok with it. Sometimes I just want to jump on him and kiss him and make all those things that have been in my head for the past week come true. Sometimes I imagine us laying down and he undresses me and kisses my whole body. Other times I just imagine us in the middle of the woods undressing and kissing until our bodies connect._ What the hell am I thinking? _I don't even know what to do if I see him naked! I wish I took that step before so I can make Edward happy on our first time together.

We never spoke about our feelings but I know that he loves me too. That light in his eyes when he sees me and the way he speaks to me can't be a mistake of judgment.

Even when we don't speak the silence is a peaceful time. We don't have to fill it with words.

When he touches me… those butterflies start to rumble around my stomach, when he holds my hand as we walk or when he kisses my cheek I always want more… but I'm still scared!

I'm scared of doing something wrong. Doing something that would change things if I go too fast. So I leave those thoughts behind and try to enjoy the moment.

I heard Alice come in and knew I had to talk to her about this. Angela and Jess went downtown for a private date and we were alone in the dorm.

I wrapped myself in the towel and went for it

"Hey Al, you have a minute?"

She turned to me with one of those sweet smiles and being my girl she said

"It's about time we talk. Spill !"

I giggled. How couldn't I? My best friend knows me so well that even I was surprised with her patience at my silence.

"Al, you know that me and Edward …" she cut me off

"Bella, get straight to the point! You love him, he loves you. You're taking your time to know each other and tonight you have a date. Was that what you were about to say?"

This girl knows me so good!

"Yes, it was. Thanks for that. Now my next problem is what if he asks to be his girlfriend or something? That can change things, for worse I mean"

_Oh no, here comes angry Alice_

"Isabella Swan! What the hell are you thinking? Just because you failed before, doesn't mean you'll do it with Edward. Anyone can see that you two are meant to be. You look so sweet together that I'm jealous!"

_Huh? And why is that?_

"Bella, you've been my friend since ever and you know I love your brother more than anything. We always tried to help you with what you thought you wanted. We gave you the choice to choose being with James or not and we don't regret it. Now all of the sudden, Edward is in the picture and you wait one week to talk to me?"

Ok… I deserve this.

"Look Al, I'm sorry. I just don't wanna jinx this" _Bad choice of words_ "Not that I think you'd jinx me. I just feel so happy that I'm afraid to share it out loud. "

She nodded and grabbed my hand to let me know I didn't have to pick the right word.

"Alice I'm scared! This feelings in my head and my stomach every time Edward gets near me make me feel like I lost something important in life and I'll mess up when it's my first time."

I waited to see her reaction but she was looking at me still with her sweet smile.

"Alice what should I do? I never felt this urge of jumping into anybody's arms and kiss every inch of his body. I want to see him, feel him, touch him and it's driving me nuts!"

Alice squeezed my hand and I went on.

"Alice I'm an 18 year old virgin! Who's still a virgin at this age? Every girl I know had sex before they were 17! All I hear about sex is that the first time hurts, that it isn't that great after all. Even you told me your first time was the worse experience in the world! I don't want ruin everything if me and Edward…"

"Bella, that's enough. First of all, I told you my first time was bad, and I say it again. I was drunk and the guy was too. My first time with your brother on the other hand was the most beautiful experience in my life."

I knew this already but I didn't make me feel any better.

"Honey, the first time for a girl can be painful, I won't lie to you. It can be scary too. Most of the time the girl complains because they're not ready or not with the right person. I know this is lame but love can help a lot when it's the first time."

"I'm a virgin not stupid… but in what way can love help?" I had to ask

"Bella, when we're in love and feeling passion our bodies react in a different way. The feelings will haze you and naturally your body will responds to every touch, every kiss. You'll know what to do even without knowing."

"Ok I got that… what about the pain?" another kindergarten question

"Bella, I know your mother never talked about sex with you or Rosalie, and Rosalie isn't the best example to teach you about sex, but you're smart. Unfortunately our government thinks that religion is a more important class then sex education so it's my job to let you know the basic"

_Is this strange or what? I'm having "the talk" with my best friend at this age?_

"Bella, I won't go around the whole thing but when the moment comes, you'll feel it. Your whole body will feel it. The basic and most common thing that will happen besides those butterflies, is that you get wet … I mean your vagina gets wet. "

_Oh… I got that very clearly now. Geez I'm such a kid!_

"That helps the penetration and when hymen breaks you can bleed a little. That's when it can hurt."

_Blood and pain, check!_

"I can speak for a lot of girls… it hurts. But for others not that much. So don't worry. Maybe you're one of those girls that will just enjoy the moment."

_Sure, with my luck…_

"Bella, there's another very important thing to remember. Condoms. Hear me Bella? Condoms!"

"Ok Alice, I know. Condoms. I feel like a kid in front of her mother now, so please doesn't say that again".

"Bella it's important and I'm not your mother and if it was she having this conversation … what I'm I saying? She'd never talk to you about sex!. She has this thing about pre-marriage sex that I think it's too much."

"I thought like my mother a week ago…"

"No, Bella. You never judged. You just didn't have the need to have sex. It's better when you feel the need to. Don't do it just because!. Do it if and when you feel like you want to. No one has the right to tell you when, were and with whom."

I stood up, gave Alice a kiss on her cheek walking to my closet to grab my clothes. "The talk" was making me late.

"Thanks Alice. It's not that I'm thinking on doing it tonight but I needed to take some bugs in my head."

"Bella, you can come to me for anything. You know that."

She stood up and went to her closet looking for something. She took her short black dress and gave it to me.

"Bella, today is your first official date with the man you love. Don't wear jeans. Take this."

_Have I told you I love this girl to death?_

"Thank you Alice. I love you, you know that?" I went to her and hugged her.

She sobbed and nodded, then pulled me away.

"I love you to. Now let's get you ready for your dream date!"

Now I'm in trouble….

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing**

**I have to thank again and again my Beta pixie-belle88 for making this readble and for her support.**

**Don't forget to vote on www(dot)avantgardeawards(dot)com for pixie-belle88 as New Author , AELGP 's story Marital Psychosis, for Best Realistic Lemon and Best Jaob.**

**Also some great stories like My Heart's Redemption by MY DAUGHTER BELLA, Quiet Storm, by SexyLexiCullen ; Scars and Souvenirs by ashma0407 and Shattered by MelissaMargaret.**

**Check out the work of my girls TWILIFE2011 and roon0 here in ffn and kewlwhip.**

**You can find the links on my blog http aiculairam (dot) blogspot (dot) com**

**After all this, thanks for sticking with this story**

**Now let's dive...**

**EPOV**

I'm nervous. This idea of having dinner with Bella was making me a wreck. Looking to Seth, my wingman for today, I asked.

"Now, what do you think?" I did a turn for him to check my clothes.

"Dude, like the other ten times I've told you already, you look great! Edward, it's Bella! She loves you not the clothes you wear!"

_She loves me… _

Not that I didn't notice those shining eyes whenever I get near her, but still good to hear even from some else's voice.

"Seth, it's important. It's the first time I'm taking her out…" he cut me off

"And you two have been together every waking minute of the last week. So, you think she'll care if you go with blue, black or even yellow?"

I thought about that for a minute and decided to wear my black buttoned shirt. She likes to see me in black. I know that much.

I heard Seth giggling when I was trying to button the stupid shirt and turned to face him. "What?"

"Edward you have to chill or else you won't enjoy the dinner. Hell dude, it's only Bella!"

_Only Bella?_ The most perfect, beautiful sweet girl I've ever met and he says "Only?"

_Calm down Cullen, he's her best friend… breathe_

"Seth, it's not _only Bella. _It's_ my Bella._"

He had this twisted smile on his face that made me want to punch his nose.

"Edward, if you go on like that, you'll fuck up, and then hate yourself for ruining your date. You know she's simple. She doesn't love you for your clothes."

He's right. I should calm down.

"Talk to me Seth. Say anything so I can calm down and not think."

He laughed and started to talk about that weird request Jacob made.

"You know, I think he has a girl down town and maybe he doesn't want anyone to know".

That didn't surprise me, at all. I've thought about that too.

"I just can't get one thing. If he has a girlfriend and stays with her every weekend, how can he say he's in love with Bella?" Seth stated matter of factly.

That made my insides churn. Not that I didn't think about that in the last week, but hearing it form someone else's month, felt wrong.

"Seth, I've thought about all that and I realized that he's one of those guys that can't be with exclusive with just one woman, he wants to have his cake and eat it. It's the only explanation I can think of."

He looked surprised. He probably never thought I would think that of Jacob, with in my sudden cloud number nine thing.

"You're right. What you gonna do tomorrow when he comes back? You know he'll go right to Bella's dorm, right? What are you gonna do?" Seth sounded...panicked?

I've thought of that too… for the past five days… and still don't have an answer.

"I don't know. I've thought of waiting for him first and let him know what's going on between me and Bella but really? I don't even know what to call it! I can't go to him and say _Hey Jacob! Remember me? I was that guy that took you away from Bella and I'm gonna keep her?"_

Seth laughed again as if I've said the most funniest jokes ever...strange!

"Seth, be serious. What the hell can I tell the guy?"

After a while and whipping his sudden laugh tears he looked at me.

"Dude, you don't have to say anything. You're not his friend, so you have nothing to say to him. I was asking what you'd do because I know, for sure, that he'll chase Bella until he finds her. That's all"

I've thought about that too… some news… like Jessica always says, y_ou think too much Cullen!_

"Maybe I'll just let him make the first move and go from there. Who knows? He may havel, forgotten about Bella, or chose to keep the girlfriend. I won't drive myself in to a fight if I can avoid it"

"That's the way…" I could see on his face he wasn't convinced.

"It's better than getting involved in a fight for Bella. Can you imagine how she would feel if she saw me and Jacob fighting like lions, as she were some kinda meat for lunch?"

"Ok, gotcha. Now, forget about that and get down there and take my girl for a night to remember!" He said almost giddily!

I looked at my watch and damn! It's time to go if I still wanna get her at the female dorm.

"Seth, there's something else I need to ask you and don't judge before you listen first"

I looked nervously at him anticipating a bad reaction after what I was going to say.

"I need you to take this back pack to the back female dorm. You know that bench near the windmill? I'll need you to put it there before we come back."

I stood there looking at him, waiting…

It didn't take long for him to ask. "What's your plan Cullen?"

"Seth, I don't have… a plan. There's a blanket and my Walkman inside. After dinner… if we feel like it… I would like to go out there and just be with Bella… listening to music and talk…it could be cold so… the blanket is …a preventive measure"

He giggled looking amused by my nervous speech.

"Edward, I don't think you'll feel snow if that happened around here when you two are together, but I get you're point. It's good you remember that and I think it's a good idea; finish the date at the moonlight. Let's hope it doesn't rain" he started to laugh again as if he told the best joke ever…

"Thanks Seth. For the advices and for being here for me… I almost forgot how nervous I was".

Seth stood up and tapped my shoulder.

"Edward, you better treat my girl the right way tonight. Show her a good time but don't go too far. She's… new at this formal dating thing. Treat her like she deserves to be treated"

I looked at him seeing, not a friend, but like a father look back to me, as if he would beat me if Bella didn't enjoy the date.

_Where were you the past three year's daddy?_

Instead of asking that I took a deep breath and grabbing my jacket went to the door.

Then I turned to him again

"Seth if I ever make Bella unhappy, or hurt her in anyway, I'll be first to ask you to beat me up. I love Bella, more than I could ever imagine possible and will do anything in my power to make her the happiest woman on earth."

Seth - stared at me probably thinking I was crazy for saying something like that, but I was the surprised one when he said.

"Edward, you two are really meant to be together. I realize now that you'd never hurt Bella on purpose. Have a great dinner and enjoy your Bella."

Without knowing what to respond to that I left.

Outside the twilight was painting the sky with paled orange and red tons that made the whole campus look different.

Walking to the female dorm I realized I must have done this journey for the past five days more than ever in three months and still couldn't figure out how I never met Bella.

Remembering this past week I smiled. We spent every free minute together just laughing, talking and walking around the place sometimes in silence. We didn't feel the need to be chatting all the time. We both enjoyed the silent when together and we'd just hold hands or not…

It's always hard for me to touch Bella without taking her down and kiss her until she hass no air, but I realized that, after that first kiss, Bella and I had to go slowly to make things work.

After her relationship with James she probably won't admit what she feels so I really have to take it slow. It can't be easy for her to admit that she's fallen in love, after our first day together when it never happen with her boyfriend for the past three years. Even I don't get that either. I thought that love at first site was a fairy tale, but if it is, I must be the Prince on it.

The usual security guard was smocking at the door, and greeted me with a nod.

"Good evening, Mr. Felix, I'm here to take Bella for dinner." He already knows why I'm here… I've been coming here for the last seven days but I thought it was respectful to let him know.

"Hello Edward, I know you're taking Bella for dinner and that maybe you can get in late, right" he winked. "Be sure you get in, before the gates close and don't worry about the rest."

_Now, that's a surprise…_

"Edward, I was young too you know? I haven't seen Bella so happy like these past days so I bet you have something to do with it. Treat her like a lady and don't worry about getting in the dorm. I got that for you"

What's with the world today? Suddenly I have more god fairies then I thought and all working to make this date work.

"Before you ask, Alice came down and told me you were taking Bella for dinner. She also said that probably you'd take her somewhere far and maybe you'd be late "

_Alice… who else? I have to give the girl the credit.. She's good._

"Well… I … we... We're not going far but maybe we won't go inside until past our time…" I said nervously

"I don't care Edward. I trust you. When and if, you need to get in to your dorm after time, just let me know and I'll take care of it with my colleague, ok?"

I was shocked. Not that we're kids anymore but this kind of trust on me, was more than I could ask for.

"Thank you. I know you're putting yourself out on a limb for this, and I promise not to let you down."

Suddenly he turned back as hearing footsteps form inside.

I think none of us was ready to see the vision in front of us.

**BPOV**

I was standing at the door while those two were staring at me and I wasn't feeling comfortable at all. I knew it was a mistake to let Alice take control on my outfit tonight…

I never wear dresses and my hair is always down or on a ponytail, not half down, half caught up letting same curly locks falling in my shoulder… and this dress? A mine black dress with only one sleeve, which would make me shiver if it wasn't for the dark red shawl she lent me. The high heels were making my knees tremble at every step and I was afraid to take another step.

Felix, our guard, came across the lobby and took my hand. I felt embarrassed with this sudden gesture. Like I was some sort of princess to be taken by my prince…

And what a prince was waiting for me. Dressed with my favorite buttoned black shirt and a pair of black washed tight jeans my prince took my hand from Felix's and kissed the back of my hand.

"Bella, you look more beautiful tonight, if that's even possible" his eyes where shining as he raised his head from my hand, and without leaving my hand he crossed my arm on his."Shall we my princess?"

I took a deep breathe, fearing that if I didn't I would faint. The air was suddenly thick and I was having trouble on getting some air in to my lungs.

I turned back to Felix and just waved. In response he wave and mumbled "Have fun"

I had to remind myself that this was only Edward. The same Edward with whom I spent every moment I could the last days. I never felt this nervous before just walking by him. What the hell was wrong with me tonight? Maybe "the talk" with Alice wasn't a good idea after all. In spite of being in love I should never think of Edward as boyfriend… Not until I was certain I wouldn't make a fool of myself. I was so afraid to ruin all we gathered these last days that I couldn't think straight. As lost in my thought as I was, it took me a while to realize that Edward was quiet too and that we were at the gates already.

"Bella, you're so quiet. Is something wrong?" he pressed lightly my hand that stood on his arm almost numb.

"No Edward… I mean… I don't know why but I'm nervous. That's all" I knew I've blushed again… being me of course but with the pale shade of the outside lights I wished he didn't notice.

"Bella, it's ok. Don't be embarrassed or nervous. I mean... so am I and can't figure out why".

_Ok so he noticed the blush... but him being nervous too… this night is going to be odd…_

"Let's make a deal… forget this is a formal date and let's just enjoy the night, ok?" he pumped my shoulder and winked

_I love this guy... have I told u that?_

With only this smooth move I was smiling again and the air went in my lungs freely for the first time in minutes.

"So where are we going?" we didn't discuss that before and now I was curious.

"You know that restaurant by the shore, Dolphin's?

I've never been there but I've heard that it was a classy place. Too much for us anyway

"Don't you think that's… too much?" I had to share my fear with him

"Bella, it's just a restaurant, and in the outside they have a lighted ambience with torches and pop music for the youngsters… the old peeps keep inside with all the forks and knifes they can get.

I couldn't avoid a chuckle and then we both laughing while descending the path to our destiny and I enjoyed the relaxing feeling of being so close to Edward. Now that the edge was off I could relax and be myself again. I looked at his face and knew right away that was a bad move. His eyes were staring at me and those damn butterflies start flying around my stomach and lower… it seems that after "the talk" they've realized they had one more place to fly to…

I heard a cough in front of us that sent those butterflies away but I still couldn't manage to keep my eyes form Edward's face that had turned to our interlocutor.

"Good evening, may I help you?"

I turned to the man's voice and notice that we're already at the restaurant I couldn't figure that tonight I don't seem to know where I am. I really have to pay more attention…

"Yes, please, I called earlier to make a reservation for two, outside…It's Cullen"

"Yes sir. Please, come with me"

Edward gently pulled me to go in front of him, like a gentleman would do and I was amazed at the atmosphere surrounding us. The outside part of the restaurant was reachable without disturbing the inside customers. There was a balcony and a young girl, some sort of receptionist that asked if we wanted to save our belongings… classy indeed. As we said no, the waiter indicated us our table. From there we could look at the sea just below us and the pale light of the restaurant reflected on it. The small tables were decorated with light-blue table cloth and already had darker blue napkins lying beside the multi shaded blue plates. The glasses of a darker, almost black blue were standing in front of a floral bouquet of hydrangeas, in blue tones, one of the most common and beautiful flowers in the islands.

Looking around I couldn't stop the gaze at the entire scenario and I felt truly as a princess.

_Childish I know_

Trying to pay more attention and not make a fool of myself I looked at Edward. He too, had a gazed look about him but he was only staring at me…and making me feel uncomfortable again so I decided to make things do back to normal and started asking.

"So, have you heard from your family?" silly question I know but it did the trick as I saw his face come back to normal

"Well, if you call a family a marine that's always away, a mother that cries for him every night and a brother whose only interest in life is cars, yes… I've heard of them…"

_Bad start_

Fortunately, the waiter came handing us the menus' so I took a brief look and knew exactly what to ask for. Then I gave it to Edward. He closed it and kept talking.

"Don't get me wrong Bella, I love them. They're my family and we love each other deeply. It's only sad that my father's always away and my mother seems to live only for him. Not that she neglects us, not at all... It's like when my father is out... the sun doesn't shine for her."

_How romantic… I hope one day you'll have those feeling for me.._

"And your brother… Carlisle is it?" _what a strange name_

"Yes, Carlisle…my father travels a lot and he decided to find unusual names for us... Carlisle is the name of a city he visited a long time ago and Edward ... well, just because it's old and my father's name "He smiled and I couldn't help smiling back.

"Anyway … Carlisle's hobby is cars and bikes and I think everything with wheels so if you don't have wheels you can't make him to pay you any attention… Unless it's Esme."

I never heard that name before and I was curious but he didn't' make me wait.

"Esme is my brother's girlfriend. They've been together since … let me see, he's twenty one and they've been together since two so…"

I couldn't avoid my laugh. "Since they were two? What do you mean?"

"Simple, since kindergarten they've been sweethearts… they went to the same classes, they have the same interests and they're always together…well not always, because they don't live in the same house...yet."

I thought about that for a moment. How interesting could that couple be? Being together like forever, even so young. That must be the sweetest thing I've heard.

"You know, when me and my parents leaved here in the islands during my dad's commission, Carlisle stayed with my grandparents in mainland. They started some sort of hunger strike and our parent's just didn't know how to make them eat. Esme's parents offered to take care of Carlisle while we were away, but then my grandparents said that he couldn't be spoiled after that strike and they went over to take care of him. He often says that if he'd know how my grandfather's was going to treat him he'd come with us. Those were the worst years of his life".

I was intrigued about that. Usually grandparents spoil they're grandsons.

"My family comes from army, navy officers, so discipline is taken seriously. Even though Carlisle was only 15 at the time my grandfather didn't want him to think that he could get away it easy by blackmailing my parents."

The waiter came to take our orders and I blushed when Edward said he'd have the same as I. Lasagna with Tuna and Spinach… then he went on with.

"Carlisle and Esme had lots of problems during those three years we lived away. My grandfather never let Esme in to our house like she used to be able to and on the weekends they had curfew at 10pm tops. 1 minute later and on the other days they couldn't see each other."

_I hope I never meet this old man… such a dictator!_

"Esme's parents were ok with these new rules for a bit but then it was them that didn't want Esme to see Carlisle. That's when they entered the racing team"

"Racing team?" I had to ask and thought how came we never spoke about this before.

"Esme is the female champion of her class on motorcycle racing and Carlisle is the champion on his class too. See? Perfect match made in heaven." He smiled and I could see the love and admiration he had for those two.

"They always loved motorcycles and when things got hard to handle at home, they took the chance and now, they're respected and no one messes with them about their relationship."

_A true love story... so different from my older sister's story…_

"Enough about my family... what about you? I know all about Jasper but you never talk about your sister …Rosalie right?"

I nod. There's a reason why I never talk about Rose…

"Well, it's tricky… I love my sister but I can't seem to respect her."

He looked at me as I've said the most horrible thing in the world… and I felt like I did.

"Let me try to make you understand…it's gonna take long." I looked at him, wishing we'd say to let it go

"We have all night Bella, go on."

_And there goes my hope down the hole…_

Taking a piece of bread I started to pinch it, while I was trying to find the right words. Instantly he took the bread of my hand and held my hand. When I looked at him I could see only love and understanding so I took a deep breath

"Rosalie is seven years older than me and six years older than Jasper. Me and Jasp are closer and Rose has always been that older sister that acts more like our mother then a sister."

I stopped for a while noticing that our lasagna was coming. After the waiter went off I sipped my white wine and started playing with my food. I can tell almost everything to Edward but this is hard.

"Bella, if you don't want to, we don't have to talk about it"

I looked at his eyes and again the love and understanding look that made me go on

"It's ok… So, six years ago my sister wanted to study on the mainland. She wanted to be a pediatric nurse and we didn't have that in the islands yet. She had just met this guy and they starting dating against my parents will. My parents thought that she was better with the son of and old friend of them but, just like me, she didn't want to do everything my parents told her to."

"My parents have that effect on both of their girls. The only one that doesn't give a damn is Jasper if they say yes and he is fine with so be it, but if they say no to something he wants, he'll fight for it."

"So, back to Rosalie, when my parents found out she was dating Aro, they forbid her to go to nursing school in the mainland. After that Aro asked her to marry her, promising her that after they're married, both of them would live in mainland and she could study. "

"My sister was naive and fell for it. After their marriage he bought his parents part on the restaurant he worked and sent Rose to the stove."

"When she realized he wasn't helping her after the marriage it was to late. My parents wouldn't accept her back and she had no choice but to stick with Aro."

"They had little Cris four years ago and my sister's life has now a purpose. She wants to work as hard as she can to give that girl what she didn't' get. A life of her own."

I looked at Edward waiting for some sort of reaction but the only thing on his face was a lovely yet sad smile

"As you see, if we count Jasper out-by the way I think he was adopted…" I heard a chuckle and smiled to try enlighten the moment "my family is weird. My parents have this restraining order on both me and my sister that make us do the opposite. Rose doesn't love Aro, I think she never did, but accepted marrying him in exchange for her dream that never came true. I found out recently that he beats her and he has a mistress that takes much of the money they get at the restaurant."

Edward was now in shock

"My sister never told my parents about the beating part or the other woman and she pretends not to know either. It doesn't hurt her- the other woman I mean- because she and Aro are together only because of Cris."

"Me, Jasper and Alice try to help, putting some sense on that head of hers but she won't accept it. She says it's better for Cris to be with both parents and that she can't leave."

"We tried to talk to my parents once and they said that we shouldn't talk about others marriages even if it is our own sister's"

"The last time she was beaten five months ago, Jasper and I had just arrived and Jasper knocked Aro on the floor and advised him not to hit her again or else he would come with all his friends and kill him. Until today she hasn't been touched, but now Aro calls her all sorts of things in front of the customers and with that people are starting to avoid the place."

"No customers, no money… and I don't know how long it's gonna be until he beats her again. I Know that Jasper is there but still.. I fear for little Cris. I don't think she gets anything but still…"

I looked at my plate trying to hide my tears… I wasn't hungry anymore and when I raised my eyes I realized I ruined a perfect dinner talking about my sister

"Bella, I'm sorry for you and your niece. I can feel sorry for your sister too but only a bit. She was naïve but stubborn… like you said but she's a grown up woman now, and we're not on eighteen century were women had to keep their marriage until death. She can leave and find a place, even far from your parents if she puts her mind in to it. I'm sure Cris would be better without that stress on the house"

"Edward, we've told her that, but as you said she stubborn and won't let my parents take the chance to say _I told you so_."

"And you say you two are not close? You two seem like twins." He squeezed my hand and smiled letting me now he wasn't being a smart ass, but honest.

"I know Edward… maybe that's why we don't get along. Much alike I suppose… but enough of this. I've ruined…" he silenced me with his finger on my lips and the next thing I was thinking was how I wished to lick that finger

_Ugh? Where did this come from?_

"Bella you didn't ruin a thing. Everything's ok...now if you don't mind let's just ask for dessert because cold lasagna isn't my favorite dish"

I couldn't keep my laugh and as he was calling the waiter I took a little more of my wine. It wasn't cold as before and I had to drink some water after.

Edward ordered some strange dessert called "brides bed" for us, and I was intrigued about it, so I asked.

"It's a light dessert made only with egg white and a soft milky cream with cinnamon on top. My mom does it all the time and it's great …especially since we haven't ate it will comfort our stomachs" He rubbed his stomach with a smirk on his lips

_God! He's adorable_

"I'm sorry for that" he raised his finger again but I hold his hand before he reached my lips and I forgot what I was about to say. I kissed every finger of his on leaned against the palm of his hand brushing my cheek up and down gently. I could feel him shaking and without losing eye contact I entwine our fingers and felt immediately those butterflies fly freely through my body form tip toe to the last inch of my hair.

I was now in an unknown territory so as Alice said I had only to let my body feel and react.

Edward raised his other hand and softly brushed my cheek and went with his finger to my lips, rounding them and then descending to my chin. Then he raised himself form the chair and gently kissed my lips still holding my chin.

I squeeze his hand and with it still in mine and with that I felt a different feeling inside of me. There were no butterflies but fire that burst through my chest. I felt like the air was leaving my lungs and in that moment I thought that if I never breathed again, this would be a perfect way to die.

A loud cough made Edward sit again but our hands still touching as the waiter served us our dessert. I took that as a new challenge and as still holding hands I took a piece of my dessert and gave it to Edward. He opened his mouth slowly and sucked the spoon and as I took it out of his mouth he licked his lips and I almost lost the notion of where we were… my body was aching with the need of kissing those sweet wet lips and only when he squeezed my hand back I noticed I wasn't breathing. Then with his lovely smirk he gave me a bit of his dessert and I followed his lead licking my lips too after sucking the spoon.

We were still starring at each other, when I heard a phone ring coming from Edward's pocket I realized that he as well notice but wouldn't pick the call

"Edward…your phone…"

He shook his head as if it'd turn that sound of, but then with his free hand went for the phone an flip the cover and answered it without looking at the caller

"Hello?" his eyes never left mine but as soon as he heard the voice on the other side he knit his eyebrows and I waited. "Yes sir… but… what happened?" I saw Edwards face fall and his eyes were glassy in a second "Dad… how is he? Will he survive?..." My heart was racing inside my chest only with the sadness and angst on his voice and I wished I could make him smile again"…ok dad I'll see you tomorrow… yes wait for me at the airport. I'll be there."

**Thanks for reading**


	7. Chapter 7

**I own nothing**

**I have to thank again and again my Beta pixie-belle88 for making my story shine every time and for her support. Ly girl. Also TWILIFE2011 for taking her time to look it up for me. ly and thanks**

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**EPOV**

As I heard my father hang up I froze. My big brother…

Bella was in front of me still holding my hand was looking anxiously at me waiting for me to speak. At that moment in time…. I had no words.

I called the waiter and asked for the bill, without releasing Bella's hand. I was still in shock and just wanted to leave this place as soon as possible.

Bella was great and patient. Didn't ask any questions or talk while we walked back to the school.

With one arm still on her shoulder I led her gently to the female dorm's access door and that's when she asked

"You're taking me back? Wanna be alone?"

I swear I could hear in her voice all the unspoken questions about that call, and all the sadness on seeing me like this

"No Bella, I was thinking we could go to our little hideout by the windmill, if it's ok with you. I need you now and I need to explain that phone call." I managed to croak out

She simply nodded her head and we made our way to our favorite place in the world, I really hoped I wouldn't ruin our feelings for this place after this talk.

After we sat down on the grass I remembered the bag Seth was supposed to bring and looked around. Hanging on the lock of the door of the windmill was my back pack and I raised myself while Bella reluctantly left my hand. When I came back, her face was a mist of amusement and surprise.

"So what's in the bag? You planned on bringing me here didn't you?" she asked with a shy smile.

"Yes, I did plan to bring you here. I thought you'd like to end the night here, where it all began.

I never thought that I would be talking about sad things though…"

She cut me off and took the bag out of my hand and pulled me down to her making me kneel beside her.

"Edward, life isn't only about the good things. I'm here for the bad stuff too, and whenever you're ready I'm here to listen."

I took a few deep breaths because not only did I want to tell her but I didn't want to scare her too much, but most of all I didn't want this to ruin our night.

"Bella, Carlisle had an accident on the track on the National Race Cup. He was in first place but some douche tried to block his rear wheel with his foot and they both crashed."

Bella was shaking now, and I held her close to make that go away, I didn't want her to suffer.

"I don't know much for now, but he has a head trauma and is an induced coma since they can't evaluate for now how extent the injuries are. My dad was released from duty and is getting the military helicopter back home. Carlisle as a military's personnel's son, got taken to the military hospital. They're expecting me at the military airport here on Green Island at 8am to take off; a car will pick me at 6am at the gates."

This was the part of the conversation that hurt me most. I know my brother will be taken care of, but leaving Bella now, is one of the hardest things I'll have to do in my life. Only, the feeling of leaving her was already messing with my whole body as if I've lost a vital organ. I couldn't imagine the pain I'd go through while we were miles away.

I took Bella's shocked face in my hands and could feel her whole body stiffen. She was probably in shock or even having the same feelings as I was.

"Bella... my love… please understand… my family needs me… I don't wanna leave you now, but I have no choice. It's my brother…

She didn't let me finish. She crushed her lips on mine and hugged my waist with such strength that I almost choked.

She slowly opened her mouth to me and our tongues found each other for the first time. The smooth swirling of our tongues made my heart go off on a racing beat.

My body was shivering as my hands descended to her shoulders so I could push her away for a second.

"Bella, please… be careful love. Don't play with me or else I won't be able to stop"

_What the hell am I saying? My brother's in a coma and I'm thinking I can't stop Bella? I should be running from her right now before I do something really stupid. What the fuck is wrong with you Cullen?_

Bella looked at me and I saw that shy smile erupt on her face, it was the most perfect resemblance to an angel that I've saw.

"Edward… I love you."

If my heart was racing before, now it was out of control…

"I love you too Bella… so much that the thought of leaving you…"

Again she didn't let me finish. Our mouths joined again with even more passion then before.

Suddenly all the love and passion that had built in the last seven days was unleashed on that one kiss and I shuddered. I knew that if went on I would let my body react rather than think first, so once again I held Bella by her shoulders and looked into those gorgeous never ending eyes if hers.

"Bella, you understand what can happen if we go on like this? I may not have the strength to stop." I tried to warn her.

"Edward, I've just confessed my love to you. I love you and I trust you and I know exactly where we can go from here. Yes I'm a virgin but I'm not innocent. Edward, you're leaving in a few hours and life is too short, so I'd love to spend this night with you… and all that comes with it." She rushed out

She looked so lovely with that shy face that I made a promise right there: I would make Bella the happiest girl in the world tonight and when I returned I'd never leave her again.

I grabbed the bag again and took the blanket out. Bella smiled and helped me with it, holding one of the ends while I used the bag as a pillow on the other end. Remembering the Walkman, I searched through the bag for it and saw that Seth had put his mini speakers in the bag to. Good thinking! I plugged them into the Walkman and pushed the play button knowing that Demis Roussos had to say the words for me…

_I bless the day I found you_

_I want to stay around you_

_And so I beg you, let it be me_

Bella stood up and taking one step off the blanket she grabbed my shaky hand and put it behind her back. I took her right hand and we started to swing at the sound of the music…

_Don't take this heaven form one_

_If you must cling to someone_

_Now and forever, let it be me_

We kissed again and I knew that now I wouldn't be able to stop or break the lust

_Each time we meet love_

_I find complete love_

_Without your sweet love_

_What would life be_

The dancing stopped but the kiss only got deeper and deeper and my hand drifted up and down her back, gently and I felt her tremble.

She dropped my hand and slowly went up my arm to the back of my neck where she gently caressed my neck causing me a shiver that went right to my cock and I realized that now there was no turning back.

**BPOV**

The shiver I felt coursing through Edward's body made me feel more feminine and in control. _Even a virgin can cause this kind of reaction on a man_ and that extended to all his members, especially one, now harder against my waist… the trigger to the wildfire that consumed all my body once more.

I've never felt this urge before, to strip someone's clothes and feel skin to skin contact, but now it was the only thing I was thinking.

Now one of my favorite song's was on... smoothly reminding me that I had to go on…this night is our first night together and if it wasn't for that call..

I shook those thoughts away. No way I'd let anything ruin this moment, so I closed my eyes and kissed Edward again letting out tongues dance as the song played.

_And I swear but the moon _

_And the stars in the sky I'll be there_

_I swear like the shadows that's by your side I'll be there_

_For better or worse_

_Till death do us part_

_I'll love you with every beat of my hear_

_And I swear_

A trembling Edward took my face in his hands, while I pulled his body against mine… looking into his eyes I could see the love and passion mirror my own and all of my body was aching for him… for his touch…but he had something else in mind and then he sang to me.

_I'll give you everything I can_

_I'll build your dreams with these two hands_

_We'll hang same memories on the wall_

_And when just the two of us are there_

_You won't have to ask if I still care_

_Cause as the time turns the page_

_My love won't age at all_

At this point my hands where all over his back and I made a daring move to come to his chest and unbuttoned his shirt. One after another…taking my time… while he looked in my eyes with a glassy, sweet look.

No words were needed… after I finished unbuttoning, I gently went to touch that marvelous chest of his sliding the shirt through his arms and watched it fall. His muscled body was exactly as my dreams imagined with those bronze shadows that made me want to curl them in my fingers. The contact of my fingers on his chest made him shiver again and I felt the heat radiate from his body.

With one hand still holding my face Edward kissed me softly while his other hand went for the side zipper of my dress, on my hip. He then went through the dress and gently caressed my hip with those marvelous fingers, making me shiver. He went even further running his finger between my skin and the band of my panties as my skin burned on the contact.

My fingers ran along his perfect back gently as I felt his goose bumps and shiver even more intensely and ran my fingers through his skin between his jeans waistband form back to front until my hands met again on the front button. I hesitated a little before I unbuttoned the first one and went slowly to the others… _so good it doesn't have a zipper, this make me more aroused… _

As I went for his jeans Edward was kissing my neck and shoulder and licking the line between them while descending the other sleeve of the dress so gently that I felt my shiver weaken my knees and if not for him holding my waist I would've fallen over. Taking that as an advantage he pulled gently at the dress through my body and it fell to the ground leaving me in only my underwear and I was suddenly embarrassed and tried to cover myself.

Without a word Edward took my arms from the front of my breasts and placed them on his hip. I took the hint and descend the jeans over those sexy strong thighs until they fell. Our body's almost naked, acted like magnets and we hugged each other feeling the skin to skin touch, making it hard to breathe. His skin was so soft yet sharp against my sensitive body that made the ache joyfully unbearable and I felt my whole body asking for more.

He unlocked my bra with skilled knowledge but smoothly and let it fall into my breast holding the piece with one hand and with the other already holding my right breast on his hand and my nipple went hard on his touch and I felt the urge to scream, but what came out my moth was a breathless moan, that made Edward attack my mouth again not so smoothly as before and our tongues fought for control as if I've been doing this forever.

I felt something fall and his fingers here searching for my other nipple torturing both of us by the sound of the growl from his throat.

Suddenly we were on top of the blanket and Edward left me for a second to take his shoes and jeans off. I shook my shoes off as well and waited impatiently for his body to be next to mine again.

Edward's hands were so shaky that he couldn't manage to take his jeans off so I put one hand on his and looking him in the eyes took his hands from him. As he lay down, the pale moonlight brushed his body and the sight was the sexiest one I've seen _ever_. With both his hands behind his head I could see the smirk on his face and all my embarrassment disappeared leaving only lust. Enjoying the feeling I slowly took the last piece of clothing that remained and took a deep breath at the sight of that perfect body, which was all mine… knowing that from now on I would never talk back to Alice like I used too.. This man's body is so perfect that I wished I could look at him forever. Worshiping his body I placed small kisses on his legs, going up, my fingers leading the path that my lips and tongue followed. Although a little uncomfortable doing so, I took his hard cock and kept kissing my way up he arched his body at the touch of my tongue growling… and that sound went right to my center… as if I wasn't wet enough…. I actually enjoyed the feeling of his cock in my hand, it felt right.

Leaving my fingers stroking his cock gently I kneeled by his side and went up to his chest, placing small kisses and licking every spot I could. I didn't know if he was pleased enough but I was! Taking my time I went to his earlobe and bit it gently swirling my tongue gently on his ear and suddenly he took my hand from his cock and turned me onto my back. Laying me down so was half on the grass half on the blanket, then I realized where we were and I panicked. I looked around but saw no one… we were behind the windmill near the shore so unless a boat went by we couldn't be spotted… but Edward saw the hesitation on my face and asked.

"Love, you want us to stop?"

I couldn't answer, such was the emotion stuck in my throat so I grabbed him and kissed him, making sure that in that kiss he got my answer…

Without leaving my lip,s his hands went up and down my body with gentle touches that made me tremble and a moan escaped from my throat that echoed in his mouth with his growl…again…

His lips left mine and I felt the loss…until he went down over my chin, neck and collarbone kissing, licking and when he got to my nipples the ache was so unbearable that I arched my body to his mouth, wanting, needing more…he didn't disappoint and took each breast into his mouth and sucked them. My whole body went on fire and inside of me an explosion of feelings went through me tip to toe and I panicked and stiffened at his next touch.

"Bella, Love, You ok?" Edward asked with an alarmed tone. Then looking into my eyes he smirked. "Isabella Swan you're so perfectly innocent… You can't even imagine how much I wanna show you much more."

At the sound of his words, I'm sure I blushed… innocent…virgin... but not ignorant and now that I think about it… I smiled. "Show me everything Edward"

He attacked my month with such a rage that it frightened me but as soon he realized my shock he eased the kiss. With his perfect fingers he went up and down my body smoothly and my body shrived all over… when his lips went on me again I held onto the blanket expecting another explosion, but he went on almost ignoring my breast… he was going lower and I thought for a moment I was glad it was summer season. Edward kept kissing my stomach, guiding his path with his fingers and before I could breathe he kissed my inner thigh and instantly I felt the urge to close my legs as a reflection of some sort, but he had other ideas and went to my center kissing gently while holding softly onto my knees. If I died at that moment, I would have died the happiest woman on earth. I had and instant explosion when he sucked my clit. My arms where aching from the strength I used grabbing the blanket to make sure I wouldn't scream so when Edward took my fingers and intertwined with his I was surprised but relieved for sharing one more touch with him. He kissed my lips gently and as sore as they were for biting so hard it felt nice then without any warning, I felt my body being invaded… a hard invasion as he looked in my eyes seeking for approval… I closed my eyes waiting for the pain Alice spoken about it but it never came. I felt whole, complete and full. For once I felt that everything was in place and this was the most perfect moment in my life. Edward eased himself slowly in to me and still no pain… I was so worried about the pain that I forgot to breathe.

"Bella, relax, breathe with me. I promise I'll go slowly. Breathe my love and enjoy"

He kissed me again and eased once again slowly but I wanted more. Even if the pain would come I wanted all of him inside me and I raised myself to him. He saw right then that I was giving him permission that he could go on and our body's joined as one as he moved in a slow pace but our hearts beating faster.

Sensing my imminent climax Edward covers my mouth with his and the only sounds were our heart beats and moans until I stiffened again while the fire burst inside of me. I wanted too scream his name but he wouldn't let my mouth, while his last stroke took him to his own fulfilled need. He kissed me forcefully and I forgot about my sore lips, my aching arms and my body relaxed.

We took our time just looking into each other's eyes still as one and suddenly Edward raised himself making me feel lost with the absence of his touch.

He didn't say a word and I was embarrassed and feeling that I might have done something wrong although everything felt so right.

After a few minutes I couldn't keep the embarrassment away I went for the dress. What if he regretted this? Maybe I forced myself on him… after that call I only wanted to be with him, make him forget his pain for just tonight, but maybe it wasn't the right time.

Edward turned to me while I was getting my things together and I saw in his face a mist of concern and sadness that went right to my eyes and I looked down to avoid him seeing my tears.

"Bella, my love… I'm sorry…"

_He's sorry? What the fuck? _

I grab the dress and my underwear and was raising myself when he pushed me down again.

"Love, don't get me wrong... sit down please."

I couldn't take any more!

"Edward, I'm leaving… you said you're sorry but I'm not, so before I get to that part and feel sorry I'll leave"

Edward shook his head and with a smile, still concerned he took the clothes from my hand.

"Bella, listen. I'm not sorry for what happened… It was the most amazing thing that has happened to me! The feeling of your body on mine, your touch, your kisses, made me go beyond happiness. I can't describe it." his face was glowing with the moonlight and his eyes were shining with emotion

With the remains of my rage I had to ask in my upset tone.

"So if you're so happy, why are you sorry?" that's when his face fell again and I got that guilty feeling for being so rough.

"One of the first things I should have thought of …when I brought the blanket was that this could happen… I should have been prepared for this and wasn't and for that I'm sorry."

Maybe it was my gaze at him or the missing question that make him explain himself. "Bella I should have used a condom, knowing that you are…were.. A virgin and I suppose you don't take birth control pills"

_Condoms! Alice is gonna kill me! She repeated that so many times and I forgot it too. Oh shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Now I get the concern look on his face…_

"Bella, please talk to me… say something…"

_No, Isabella Swan, you. Are. Not. Gonna. Think. Anymore. Stop. _

"Edward I was here too… Even as a virgin and without the whole knowledge of how wonderful making love can be… I knew also I should take precautions, or at least tell you to make them. I didn't. So there's nothing for you to be sorry for" I raised a finger and silenced his lips as he started to speak

" Edward, this is the most important, happy, unforgettable night of my life so far and I refuse to ruin it with worries. Whatever happens I'll think of it in due time..."

"_We_ will think of it on due time Bella. _We_" He hugged me from behind and my world was perfect again.

I leaned on his shoulder looking to the moonlight on the sea.

"Edward, I love you. Thank you for making this night so special my love."

Without facing me but placing a kiss on my head he held me even harder.

"Bella you are my life now and I swear by this moon, these stars and the sky I will always be here. I'll build your dreams and take them as mine and will fight every day to make you the happiest woman on earth."

I closed my eyes and with a sleepy voice I said" You've already done that tonight" and I let the sleep come, feeling safe my love's arms.

**EPOV**

_Stupid, Stupid, Stupid… _It was all I could think of… how did I forget the number one rule on a date like this? I ruined my memories of this special night with my stupidity… and there was no turning back… But what a night! In my life I've never felt like this… whole, completed. Like my life before this night something was always missing and now… everything's in place. I let my thoughts go back and not even with Tanya had I felt like this. I thought I loved her, but now I'm sure I didn't. Tonight was the most unique experience of my life and holding Bella in my arms while she sleeps makes it even more special.

I love her so much that, knowing that I have to leave her breaks my heart in million pieces.

_I'll get you for this Carlisle! If it wasn't for you…_

I regret right away my thoughts. My brother had an accident and is in a coma and all I can think is I wanna beat him up? What kind of a brother am I?

_The kind of brother that is holding his most precious possession in his arms right now and doesn't wanna let go of."_

Good, now I have an inner voice that talks back to me .._Great_. I should go to sleep.

But I can't. I have to take this moment and save them for when we're miles apart.

Gently without making any sudden moves I took a look at my watch. 5am! I'll have to wake Bella, so I can grab some stuff before the car gets here.

I kissed her check and the reaction was precious. She shook her head as if I was a fly. I kissed her again and then she raised her hand but I grabbed her first before she slapped me.

"Bella, love, it's time to go…"

"Ummm, just a minute"

I smiled and turned her face to mine. Her eyes were closed but she had a smile on her face that made my smile even wider. I kissed her lips calling her name again.

Her lips respond faster than her eyes and the love and passion of our night were more awake then her…

"Bella, I really have to go babe. The car will be here in an hour..."

She open her eyes slowly and kissing me said "Good morning my love"

I laugh at that and squeezing her even more kissed her nose. "Good morning my sunshine" and without any warning I stood up still holding her. We almost fell again when I raised her by her waist and turn her around. "I love you Bella!"

She laughed and grabbing my hair forced my head back and kissed me on the nose. " I love you too Edward"

We grabbed all of our stuff and hand in hand headed to the female dorm.

Felix, heard us and turned his back to us, while we said our goodbyes and hugged each other in a never ending embrace…Bella crying while I fought my tears.

We kissed once more and I promised to call when I arrived at the hospital to let her know about Carlisle, and then left her and our fingers were the last thing to touch before I turned around.

This was one of the hardest things I had to do… I was crying and my whole body was already missing her shaking and making it unbearable to walk straight

How was I going to cope being away from her?

God.. I love that girl!

**Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing**

**I have to thank again and again my Beta pixie-belle88 for… EVERYTHING! You know the words**

**This week I have to post earlier because I'll be hiding for a few days while you read this chapter.**

**As always thanks to the girls on twitter our PGC for making my days bearable.**

**Check out the work of my girls pixie-belle88, TWILIFE2011 and roon0 here in ffn and kewlwhip on TWILIFE2011's blog.**

**If you wanna try something different check out upsidedownntwisted... that made me say :"Never say never" and i love it... (please don't tell him that)**

**You can find the links on my blog http aiculairam (dot) blogspot (dot) com**

**Thanks to DreamOfTheEndless for pimping me out and go check her story as well.**

**Congrats to all the ladies that made to round 2 of avantgardeawards AELGP and pixie-belle88 I'm very proud of you!**

**After all this, thanks for sticking with this story**

**Now let's dive...on a rough ocean...**

**APOV**

"Alice? Alice? Stop biting your nails!" I heard Jessica whisper as Angela slapped my hand.

"Hey!" I shouted.

"ssshhhhh" they both said in unison with each other .._These two are getting weirder each day!_

"Don't wake her yet! It's not even 9!" whispered twin Jessica.

"Yeah, she did say to wake her at 10" completed twin Angela showing me again the note Bella wrote.

"Would you two stop? I know, I know! I _can _read and I _can _tell the time too. I'm just anxious!" I whispered at the weirdo twins picking up my cup of coffee and looking at Bella again.

She came in early in this morning and left a note asking to be woken up at 10am. That was all it stated and since I got up I was curious…well not curious, anxious to know what happened last night…and this morning. With my nervous breakdown in full swing, I woke up the weirdo twins, but couldn't wake sleeping beauty… maybe if I kiss her…no. That won't work. It's has to be a prince that kisses her to wake… And I don't think I can get Edward into female dorm…

Worse than that, even if it was him waking her up she'd probably kill me; you don't wake Bella, _ever._

Jasper would then be very angry with her. I didn't want to be the cause of two brothers fighting…

"Alice stop it!" I felt another slap on my hand and my coffee _almost_ dropped on the table.

_How did I manage to put my nail in my mouth again holding a cup?_

I gave them a furious glare, but I could see curiosity on their faces so I eased my temper.

"What do you two think happened last night?" I asked just to kill time.

"Well… looking at her smiley face even sleeping it seems something good happen…" said Jess.

"I bet they had sex…and like Jess said, it must've been a good first time for Bella" Angela wrapped.

Sex… that's what's bothering me. My girl… her first time… was it good? Did she enjoy it? Was it bad, was she in pain, was Edward a selfish coward that treated her like junk? My mind was filling with all these scenarios.

But no! Edward is nothing like that… but… did he know how to treat her? Oh my god! What I'm I thinking! It's like I'm her mother or something!

I was biting my poor nail again and before the slap came to my hand again I stood up.

"Girls, I'm going for a walk. I can't stand being here and if I stay, I'll wake her up before its 10 and I don't want her wrath, so please one of you wake her up on time" I waved my finger to them.

"Alice? Where you going? You know she won't tell us anything before she tells you! We'll have to wait 'till you came back!" Angela's whispers seemed like a prayer.

"Yeah, Alice! It's not fair! Don't go far and keep your cell on. When she wakes, I want you back ASAP!" Jessica had that crazy look like she needed the info like some drug and I was terrified right away.

"Ok deal. I'll just go out for some more coffee and maybe call Jasper. Talking to him always makes me feel better" I put my jacket on. Outside the wind had picked up a bit too quicly to my liking.

"You're not gonna tell him she slept outside, _all night_, with Edward are you?"

"Good question Ang. You know, I can never keep a secret from Jasper but I'll try not to let him know."

They both looked at me like I was crazy, so I blew them both a kiss and went out, but not before looking at sleeping beauty and her happy smile. She looked so peaceful.

The sight outside, well what I could see form the back windows anyway was almost terrifying.

The dark clouds were rushing towards us and I could tell a _big _storm was coming. I started to reconsider going out just to be caught in a rain storm and almost went back to our room.

_Alice, you're a grown up… no need to be afraid of a storm!_

Smiling at myself and my inner voice I went downstairs and our faithful Felix was still there.

"Morning Felix! Still here?" I said cheerily whilst kissing his cheek. This man is like an uncle to me, all protective and stuff.

"Morning Alice. I have orders to stay around. It's seems like a tropical storm is coming and they want you girls to have company if needed." He replied give me a smooth kiss

Felix was not only a security guard but also a voluntary firefighter. In the island they have had lots of training about preventive measures for hurricanes and earthquakes.

"Always our guardian angel! Felix, did you see Bella get in?" I asked with the shiniest smile I could put on.

He looked at me and with he's usual smirk and nodded "Yes Alice I did. But a gentleman never tells. She hasn't woken up yet, has she?"

_This guy knows me to well…_

"No Felix, she didn't and I'm dying to know what happened!"

"Don't worry Alice. From the look on their faces this morning I'm pretty sure she's happier than ever" he smiled widely.

"So he brought her to the door? How sweet…!" I knew Edward was a gentleman!

"Yes, and that's all I'm saying. Now if you're going somewhere hurry up and be back by 10! We're not sure if the eye of the hurricane is still on route, but if it is, it'll pass by Green Island at 10:30 so be inside at that time. Here or any building near by"

I got a little concerned with this information, but being an island girl I know that sometimes they only say these things as preventive measures and almost nothing happens. Like Charlie always says…"_ If they knew everything what would God be doing up there?"_

I went out and the wind was salty and thorough. I even thought about turning round and going back to the dorm, but the coffee and remembering Bella was sleeping made me go on.

Inside the cafeteria, having found a seat at a table close to the t.v, I saw on the news the weather man pointing ng to the map that showing the island and mainland and the course of the hurricane. Everyone was so silent I could hear that the "eye of hurricane" was somewhere north of Blue Island but close enough to make me feel scared. The 150/km wind could make a lot of damage and I picked my phone to call Jasp. After the second ring my love's sleepy voice was on line.

"Morning babe, how was your night?" _God what a sexy voice this man has when he wakes up!_

"Morning love, I had a good night, and you? Sorry for waking you up" I tried to sound calm

"Al, you know you can call me at every hour if the day or night. I went early to bed yesterday but I had nightmares or something, 'cause I'm so tired."

"Oh Baby, I'm so sorry. I was just worried. There's a hurricane looming around and I really needed to know how you guys where."

I heard the bed shake and a crash noise right away, so knew Jasp must've stood up of his bed without remembering the low ceiling of his bedroom and once again crashed the lamp on the floor… the swearing I heard next confirmed my suspicions.

Holding a laugh back I asked. "Love you ok?" the next curse meant that not only had he smashed the lamp but he stepped barefooted on the broken glass. He always does that when he wakes up in a hurry and we already talked about getting a plastic lamp for him. But not Jasper… he needs those fashion grey lamps for his temple and no one can mess with that. Not even me.

"Al, you still there? I'm sorry babe. I broke the lamp… again."

I laughed and with me, Jasper laughed too, like so many times before.

_Stubborn little guy that I love._

"Baby, I've told you to change that lamp. Put it on the other side of the bed. Then if you jump out of bed you won't break it" It felt like déjà vu, since I've been telling him this for the last 2 years.

"And I've told you that I don't like lamps near windows, that's why it's perfect where it is... when I don't crash it and cut myself on the glass", he responded

Jasper had a small but cozy room, chosen by him. It was in the attic, where he could be alone with his thoughts and me of course, without any interruptions. His bed was next to the big window and when he wakes up every morning he looks out before he gets up. That made me think why he jumped from bed today.

"Hey babe, is everything ok there? Is it cloudy too?"

"Yes babe, that's why I jumped. Its scary dark and windy and I have to go down and help the guys at the station. "

Working at a police station Jasper had met a lot of police officers, well 3 or 4 as in a small island and the whole fire department, about 5 fire fighters that do it for a living and another 20 or so that volunteer to keep the night and weekend shifts covered, giving the pro's some rest.

Not that the volunteers are less than pro's but they have their own jobs but learn, almost all about civil protection. Like Felix.

I could tell Jasper was still on the other end of the line, but looking for clothes at the same time cause I could hear the sound of opening and closing drawers and a closet door.

"Jasp, love, you want me to call back later?" I heard the phone fall and more swearing, as he picked it backup. "Al, give me a moment. I'll put the headphone and we can talk while I get ready"

I heard the screaming noise in my ear as he plugged the headphones in and then I could hear his heartbeat, the sound of clothes being put on, his belt buckle being pulled. Just the thought of the material touching his skin , his strong hands, buckling the belt made me so dam horny, I wanted to be there to undress it all…

"Babe? You still there?" he asked with his sexy voice that went down right next to where the belt buckle noise…

"Yes Babe and horny as hell!" I burst out

"Babe, not now! I can't handle two storms at once" he giggled

A_nd he giggles! I'll get you for that Jasper Swan!_

"Don't worry! I wasn't planning on having phone sex this morning…!" … Hell maybe I was, but now I won't admit it to him.

"Al, is everything ok? Besides the storm I mean?" I knew it! He knows me too well!

"Yes babe, don't worry. I was just missing you and Bella is still sleeping so I called before the storm cuts the signal. They say it's possible the winds will cut the power off and maybe the cell signal. Felix is staying in for preventive measures. I think all of this just scared me a little."

_And your sister having sex for the first time too._

_Not the time Alice, not the time._

"So you're heading for fire station?" I said changing the subject; I needed to get the chatting going before I put my foot in my mouth.

"Yes babe. I'll grab breakfast on the way. If we can't talk meanwhile by cell I'll try to get to Green Island Central by radio and maybe Felix can hear me."I could hear the concern in his tone.

Always so concerned my Jasper… "Love we will be fine. Take care of yourself and leave the radio for important stuff. We'll talk when we can. If it makes you feel better, I'll be waiting too know about you guys too. But they need the radio ok?"

"OK Babe, take care and please don't do anything foolish. I love you. Talk to you later!" he almost whimpered

"I won't baby, be careful and remember you are my life, love you"

After we hung up I felt worse than before. Now, I was scared not curious and the anxiety was getting worse so I thought I better head back to the dorm.

The clouds outside where getting darker and the winds were already shaking the trees they bent up and down as if they were feathers. The churning waves made the sea, almost dark grey now, looking like a true inferno and the white foam was covering the rocks off the shore.

I ran all the way back to our dorm and when I saw Felix's face I knew we were in trouble.

"How bad is it Felix?" I asked as I took my jacket off sweating already.

"Alice, it's not good. The hurricane is to pass right over the top of the island and we all need to be inside. These buildings are safe and the windows are bullet proof so we'll be fine. Just stay inside please. If this gets worse, lunch will be serve in the dorm. Don't worry. All has been taken care off."

In spite of that speech he just gave I could see the concern on his face. I gave him a kiss on his cheek and ran up the stairs, knowing that sleeping beauty and her night of passion was the least of my problems now.

**EPOV**

The wind was blowing so hard in the military base that I thought maybe the military aircraft wouldn't be able to take off. But being used to tropical storms in the islands, all the pilots know the drill and being used to rescue boats in distress they knew how to out a big plane like this on the air.

I had a parachute as a rule on board and was sitting on the side of the plane with my headphones loud to drown out the noise of the engines.

Listening to the same tape for the second time on this trip, I let myself remember the sweet girl I left behind at the sound of "All 4One". Our night couldn't have been more perfect. The way Bella gave herself to me was the sweetest and sexiest encounter I had ever experienced and it was a pleasure to be her first lover.

The whole scenario and the music were perfect and the way our body's respond to the other's touch was magical.

I knew that no matter what, I would never forget last night.

As the plane landed I felt the pressure in my ears pop so I took off my headphones and forced the air out of my lungs and breathed to my covered nose to make them go back to normal.

Sometimes is works… but not today. So there I was, half deaf trying to get the instructions about leaving the parachute behind, take my bag and lower my head while going outside, that's when I saw my father outside.

Although he had his uniform on, he seemed to me as another man. His face usually hard as in addition to his uniform, was more lenient. I could see the pain and suffering on his face, but his eyes were somewhere else, like he was lost. When our eyes met, I saw a smooth smile on his lips, which made me realize how happy he actually was I was here. Despite of not being that kind of loving father, he always showed us his love and pride for our achievements and for choosing our ways in life.

When Carlisle decided to compete in racing, dad only said that he could do it if it wouldn't harm his studies. When I choose to go to Green Island he said that college was still an option.

Being a poor and self-educated man, our father went to the navy as an escape from the poor life on the farm. As a country man he had to push himself up, and study while working. Then when we were born, he went on with his studying and work, making every day away from us worth it.

I'm proud of the way he turned his life into something good. His brother never could and after a night out drunk as he always was, killed himself with one of the shotguns on the farm.

My grandparents were devastated and left the farm to move to the city to live closer to us, buying a house next to my mother's parents. We were a big happy family until my dad's commission on Green Island.

My father's parents never got used to the city and with the pain of their son's death, they got sick and day after day they died a little bit more, although the rest of the family tried to bring them around. When we came home for that Christmas, our last year on Green Island, they passed away the day after we arrived. I saw my dad cry for the first time as he said; _"Now you're both in peace with him". _The doctors even said it was strange how their hearts stopped almost at the same time, but my mom told us that when you love someone that much and share every pain, when one is gone, there's no meaning for the other to stay.

Finally the door opened I lowered my head and run to my father. I didn't care if we were in a military base or that he was in uniform. This is my father and we needed our moment!

W e hugged each other, while I fought the tears back. I've missed his hugs and now that he's here everything's gonna be alright. Carlisle will get better and I can return to my Bella.

Coughs make us realize where we are and had to break the embrace and as my dad saluted the officer near us I stood beside him.

"Sir, your family is a waiting in the VIP room. Please follow me"

My dad took my bag from the floor where I'd left it and putting his arm around my shoulders indicated me the way to go.

"So, Edward, how's school? You're enjoying it?" we talk every week about this but it doesn't seem enough for him so I answered politely.

"Yes dad, everything is going fine. The school is great, I have lots of friends, Jessica is still Jessica and …" I bit my lip. Talking about Bella on a situation like this didn't seem fair.

"And?" my father waited for me to go on.

"And… I met this wonderful girl and... I'm in love"

My dad stopped walking and turned me to face him "Edward, you sure? You know better than to say does things without feeling them!"

Yes my dad is a love freak! Behind that uniform is a man that loves my mother to death and believes that love for a woman is once in a lifetime… you should see him watching romantic movies…

"Yes dad I'm sure. I wouldn't say if I wasn't" I assured him.

"Well you did love Tanya…" he reminded me.

"No dad, I didn't love Tanya. She was my girlfriend I liked being with her and maybe I thought it was love, but nothing compares to want I feel for Bella."

My dad's eyes were glassy all of the sudden. This strong brave man can't really take a love story…

When we got in to the VIP room I saw my mother and her parents sitting. Their expressions weren't any better than my dad's and the dark shadows underneath my mother's eyes let me know she hadn't been asleep for ages. She jumped in her chair and run to my father's arms. Yep. Those two are a match. One can't live without the other and when apart their world is incomplete.

God I wish Bella and I can share this kind of love one day… a mature love with all the passion and need that these two have.

Letting my parents have their private moment I head to my grandparents. Grandma was still sitting looking at me with those glassy eyes and grandpa stood up to give me a hug. Although I'm not used to my grandpa's hugs I did feel the need of comfort and hugged him back.

Then my grandma joined us and tears just went through my eyes and I couldn't stop them.

So much love and hurt in this room made me weak and I wanted to get to my brother. It seemed like it hit me only now….. My brother's life is held by machines…

I took a step back and knowing that everyone would agree and said.

"OK now, we'll all together so let's go make that unlucky brother of mine wake up so I can beat his ass for making me skip classes!"

They all shared a smile and when I saw my parents and grandparents leave the room with each one in their own embrace I missed my Bella in my arms again.

I took my cell out of my pocket and sent her a text saying I had arrived and that I missed her already. After writing I love you I hit the send button and looking at my watch I knew she would be sleeping.

With the wind in our favor it took us less 15 minutes to get to the mainland, and as I told her I was arriving at 10 she'd probably be asleep by then.

Outside I felt the thick air. The pollution on this part of the city is so intense that the air seems thicker than anywhere else.

It makes me cough every time I have to come to this military base; it's nearby an industrial zone.

In the parking lot was my grandpa's Land Rover and I smiled. I always liked that car and it's cozy but fast and when he takes us to the country fields the jeep doesn't let us down.

I sit in the backseat near the window and my mother next to me. She took my hand in hers and kissed me on the cheek.

"My darling Edward, how was your trip?" I know… I should be upset because she did ignore me before, but that's my mom. My dad comes first but she would die for me or my brother.

"It was good mom. It was faster than usual with the wind and stuff."

"You know, while I was waiting in the VIP room I heard something about a hurricane on the islands. Didn't pay much attention but it seems bad." My grandma said

"A Hurricane? Did you hear which island grandma?" Suddenly I was worried sick for Bella

"Relax, Edward. I'm sure it's all going to be ok." My mother rubbed her fingers on my hand

"Grandpa, can you put the news on the radio? Please?" My dad was driving but it's still my grandpa's car.

"You know… Edward left his heart in Green Island… that's why he's so worried" My dad burped while turning the radio on.

My mom turned my face to hers and with a big smile asked "Who is she? How is she? It's not Jessica is it? Tell me! You have any pictures?" my mom was hyperventilating and I was glad for distracting her even if it was an awkward moment. Living in a family like this has its good points, and for seconds she forgot about her pain…. One more thing about Bella... she already makes my family happier.

"No mom, I don't have photos, it's not Jessica. Her name is Bella and she's in the same school but she lives on Blue Island".

"Oh Blue Island! Love, you remember we were planning to go there for last New Year?" my mom asked my dad touching his shoulder.

"Yes love, I do. But then I was called and we had to cancel it." my dad replied in a sorry voice

"And why had I never heard about that plan?" This means I could have met Bella before?_ Crazy._

"Because it was a surprise you fool. We were all to go together. We even talked about it with Esme's parents…" and then my mom's the voice went off. Talking of Esme reminded her of Carlisle and the brief moment of joy was over.

"Speaking of which" I had to go on talking, cause the sudden silence was getting to my nerves and the radio wasn't saying anything thing about the hurricane "Where's Esme?"

My grandpa looked back to our seat and with those scary inquisitive eyes asked "Where do you think she is? She hasn't left your brother since the accident. They had to sedate her while he was being taken care of and no one can take her away from his bed. That's why we all came to get you two".

Stupid Edward… Silly question…Off course Esme would be with Carlisle! I bet she's giving him a lecture even in a coma… or making him hard telling dirty things on him to make him wake up. I smiled with the thought. It would be funny my brother waking up with a hard on because of her… then I cursed myself._ What I'm I thinking?_

Going through the Sunday traffic was easy and my dad was taking his time. He had to cross the industrial zone after the military base, go through the outer limits of the city and get to the military hospital. I could see the cars full of family's ready to enjoy the last sunny days of summer and happy faces passing by.

It was 10 o'clock and time for the news and my dad raised the sound on the radio.

"Good Morning. We start our daily news with a red alert" I stiffened on the seat and held my mom's hand tight as he went on "the entire islands are under red alert. Hurricane Nadine is expected to be passing by Blue Island and our correspondent said earlier that the wind was already above 150/km. Green Island is for certain the island that will most suffer with this route of Nadine since the eye of the Hurricane is expected to cross the north shore of the island. Civil Protection, Firefighters and Military resources have already been prepared for the worst case scenario…" As the news went on which preventive measures should be taken and other remarks on the hurricanes name my mind went off.

Bella was in danger… sure they are used to hurricanes and storms but we can't ever rely on luck. Nature can be unpredictable and destructive as well and I feared for Bella safety.

I closed my eyes and in a silent prayer I beg the Guy up there to keep my Bella safe. Then the image of our last night appeared in my mind… her sweet face, her voice when she said she loved me, the way she reacted about forgetting the condom... she could be pregnant!

_Oh my God, please protect my Bella and our baby! I'll be there as soon as I can… Take care of her for me. Please God. I beg you let her be safe!_

Suddenly I heard my dad swearing and in a second our car was turning brusquely and flipping in the air. My mother's screams and her hand squeezing mine was the sign my body needed as in my mind I already knew what was happening. I heard us crash upside down and some moaning…my head has killing me with the strike of the roof and a warm feeling was soaking my head. Holding myself with my palms on the roof against gravity, but loosing strength quickly I felt my eyes closing and the last thought I had was..._ I will always love you Bella._

**BPOV **

"_The number you just dialed is not available"_

**OK… now I'll hide for a few days…thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I own nothing**

**Pixie-belle88 urmysolmigatudo! Thanks for ... you know what... and ... me too.**

**Me and pixie have a new project not twilight but we love (almost) all vampires so go check it on ****fanfiction(dot)net / u / 2969784 / LucPixielee**

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**I have to thank AELGP . She wanted to know more about Angela so here it is! Hope you like it girl!**

**Another thank you to kewlwhip ... sorry i didn't post it earlier as you wished but RL sometimes get's in and you know what I mean. Love ya girl!**

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**After all this, thanks for sticking with this story**

**Now let's dive...on a different ocean...**

**Angela POV**

Five days after the Hurricane, Jessica parents called her at School and told her she should spend the weekend with them. Nothing much on that, but what was unusual was them asking if she wanted to bring a friend along.

So here I am sitting in a strange house, feeling detached from everything and not in the best of moods.

I don't belong in this fancy house, where the leather white couch matches the flowers on the blue curtains and the coffee set is the same color as the strips of the navy blue cushions.

Where the silver wear has an anchor, which almost took a piece off my finger, when I picked the fork to have same homemade cake. _Tasty though._

I'm a simple girl, not fancy in the slightest and never felt so out of place in a house like this.

While Jessica and her mother went upstairs to "arrange the guest room" all I could think of was that I needed to run from this place. But I'd never do that to Jess.

She's nothing like this at School and if I hadn't met her before, I wouldn't have placed her to this house.

She's sweet, humble and nice to everyone and even when I pushed a bit by kissing her, she was polite, but didn't avoid me. She could have, but she didn't.

I'm glad after all we've been through this past week that we're spending some time alone.

Even if it is in her parent's house.

The past week was horrible to say the least.

The power was off after the hurricane and communications only came back on Tuesday, so until then, the girls were crazy sick to know about their love ones.

Being an orphan is sometimes a blessing! In these situations I have no worries what so ever, unless I'm not near Jessica off course. She is my love and I can't think of anywhere else I rather be. But still I don't fit in here.

I was raised in _Alcove Catholic Orphanage_, where the nuns were always more worried about not letting us cause any trouble than to love us.

Love is something I've never had, or if I did, don't recall it.

My mother left me at Alcove when I was born, and the sisters told me that she didn't have any choice. Her parents threw her out the door when I was born and she couldn't take care of me.

She was single and alone in the world… as I am now. Later the nuns told me she always came to see me on my birthday and Christmas but still had no money to take me back. From what I'd hear behind closed doors my mother was "a woman of life" and had no place to take me. Later I knew the right meaning of that and calling my mother a whore is just another name to call her. Not that I hate her. Maybe she had her reasons, but still she must have loved me enough to leave me with the Nun's. Who knows? I never tried to find her and if she ever went back to Alcove to find me she lost her chance.

Once I had turned 16 I had the choice to leave the orphanage and try my luck. The government did support me, renting a house for me and letting me choose between employment or staying in school. I choose the job. I've always loved cooking and the nuns once in a while let me enjoy myself with the pots and stove and a delicious meal would come out. Even with the poor resources we had I always made tasteful dishes that one could eat with eyes only.

So I started at a restaurant serving at the tables, until one day the Chef needed a helper. I offered to help and since then I've been working with Chef Vladimir in the kitchen.

When I was given the opportunity to come to Technical School without losing my job I thought I'd won the lottery! My boss Marcus and his wife Didyme, sort of adopted me and told me if I wanted recognition and become a added value to the Restaurant, I was going to School.

So I left my government rent paid apartment, shoved what few clothes and stuff that I owned in a bag and came here to study. What I didn't know then was I'd find the love of my life.

I always knew I wasn't into boys, not that I had that many chances at the orphanage but even my friends, they always seemed more exciting than the guys we could go out with.

Being Catholic, it was a shock when I found myself thinking about women, not men as partners for life and felt it was wrong. Getting excited watching two girls kiss more than a porn movie of a straight couple_… _

_Yes we had those movies in the orphanage, we were inside those walls but not blind!_

Then one of those guardian angels that the bible talks about told me that_ "What matters in life is what you do of it for yourself. Not what others think of you, while you do it"_. Didyme told me this when I was 16, when she barely knew me at all, but those words follow me wherever I go.

After all I have someone to worry about that cares about me, but still not love. Protection, guidance but not love.

Looking up the stairs I hoped Jess would hurry up with that private talk with her mother…Yes I'm not stupid, they wouldn't be "arranging the guest room" while the "guest" is left alone.

My eyes went to a newspaper called "Navy News" and I saw it was from mainland. Of course Jessica's father would read stuff like this while home so I took it and flipped the pages looking for something interesting to read.

On page two, my eyes were caught by a picture of an accident involving lots of cars from what I could see in the black and white picture. A big truck was turned over on top of a few cars and I could tell that no way anyone could survive that accident. Curious, I started to read the article.

"_Sunday morning an accident involving 5 cars and a fuel tanker obstructed the road near the military hospital in Capitol City. The drunk driver of a minivan crashed into the fuel tanker making It overturn resulting in three cars crashing into the tanker. Witnesses say that the Tanker exploded almost instantly on impact. During 10 hours no circulation in or out the military hospital was possible, even the victims of the accident had to be transferred to civilian hospitals nearby._

_The tank driver was taken to hospital, where he died two hours later. The Minivan driver and the other four passengers were killed instantly on impact, according to an official report._

_On one of the vehicles involved was on route to visit Comatose National Race Champion Carlisle Cullen who was recently injured whilst competing, was our honorable Commander Carlisle Cullen, his wife, his son Sergeant Edward Cullen along with his wife and younger Son leaving Race Champion Carlisle Junior a orphan. Also…."_

I covered my mouth to avoid a scream. No! not Edward! So young! So nice! So lovely…. Bella! Jessica!

Oh my God! Jessica will be devastated! And Bella? Poor girl hasn't been herself since last Sunday when his phone…died. She even begged Jessica to call his family's house but no one answered. Jessica even tried to speak to Carlisle's doctor but as she was not a member of the family she didn't get any information. She even got her father to try find out about Edward.

Then it clicked, that's why they wanted her here this weekend…with a friend. They knew! They're gonna tell her that Edward died!

I stood up but my kneels failed and I fell on the couch again.

Hearing footsteps coming down the stairs I hid the newspaper behind a cushion whilst remaining sitting I tried to smile at my hostess. As Jessica's mom entered the room.

"Mrs. Webber, you have a beautiful house… and the cake was delicious. But I must confess I ate too much" I spoke with a tremble in my voice

I turned to Jessica hoping she'd help me without question "Jessica? Would you mind getting me some water please? I'm a bit thirsty.

"Sure Ang. I'll go grab an Alka-Seltzer first upstairs and bring the water. You know you can't eat too much cake. It always makes you sick" said my love with a concerning sweet voice that made my eyes wet just thinking the pain she would go through today.

"Thank you Jess. I'll feel better in a moment. You know how greedy for sweets I am. Can't resist them!" I tried the best I could to stay calm but I was about to choke with the unleashed tears stuck on my throat.

When she went upstairs again I looked in to her mother's eyes and found my pain mirrored.

She too was worried and a connection without words needed made her speak.

"You know she's gonna need you now more than ever, don't you Angela? Edward was her best friend, like a brother. They loved each other so much…"

"Yes, Mrs. Webber. I know. I think it's better if we hide the newspaper though. She doesn't need the image of the accident in her head."

Looking at me with those eyes, so like Jessica's, I felt an understanding and relief they made her smile a little.

"You know, I left the paper there on purpose. I hoped you'd read it before we told Jessica. We need all the help we can get" Mrs. Webber whispered.

Heavy footsteps from behind announced Jessica's father arrival. Holding her gently by her waist he kissed his wife which such tender and love that my already emotional eyes let a tear go down.

Then without a word he came in my direction and hugged me, placing a kiss on my forehead. It felt strange and I almost took a step back, not being used to demonstrations like this of love and caring.

"Angela, our baby is going to need you more than ever. Thank you for being here. We appreciate the help" Mr. Webber said in a strangled tone.

Although he had already widened the embrace, his was still holding my arms, but in a caring and protective way that made me feel good. Safe even. Like no harm in the world could hurt me being in his arms. I guess this is what we feel when a father loves you. He takes care, protects and loves you. Maybe sometimes that feeling can be shown in a simple gesture. A feeling that I never had felt but for moments I shared with Jessica's father.

"Are you sure he's dead Sir… Mr. Webber?" It felt awkward not knowing how to refer to him. I've never been in the presence of a navy officer. "Sorry if I insulted you but I'm not familiarized…"

He cut me of making me sit again "Angela, I'm an officer _in _the navy and _for_ the navy. IN this house, I'm Jessica's father." He sadly smiled before he went on "After Jessica's call I asked around in the military base about Edward and his family. The news was shocking even for me, trained to face death. Most of the bodies in the car accident were carbonized when the fuel truck exploded. The body count was made by the military police medical examiner, and with the number of cars involved, the military counted ten deaths, besides the five severely burned injured that went to civil hospitals. I've contacted them and there's no Edward Cullen there."

His eyes let the tears fall but he wiped them as soon as we heard Jessica approach from the kitchen. They must have another stair directly to the kitchen form upstairs because I didn't hear her coming down.

With that beautiful smile she handed me the glass of water with the alka seltzer fizzing away and sitting down next to me asked in a joking tone.

"So you're adopting her? You three seem so close already!"

I choked with the sip of water, tears come to my eyes as soon as I coughed. I looked at Jessica knowing that by the look in my face she would know it wasn't time for jokes.

"Mom, Dad, what's going on? I can see on your face something is not right." And turning to me she took the glass from my hand and held it. "Did they mistreat you dear? That's why you're crying?"

_Is this girl for real?_

Still holding her hand I squeezed it letting her know everything was ok. _With me that is._ But for now I knew she'd know what it meant.

"Jessica, we didn't mistreat Angela. We are here because we have something to tell you."

Her father made space on the coffee table and sat on it …_weird I know…_ her mother came to sit on her other side of the couch, so Jess could be surrounded. Instantly she took my other hand and with a worried face looked at me. I tried to remain calm for her. My girl needed me to be strong now.

Then her father went on putting one hand on her knee. "Jessica, we need to tell you something about Edward." He paused and Jessica's drained of all color. "When he was going to see Carlisle, they're where involved in a serious accident." I grabbed her hands even harder and her mother hugged her shoulders as her father went on "Jessica, lots of people died in the explosion." She sobbed knowing in advance what her father would say next. "Edward wasn't found. We believe he's died."

Jessica hugged me instantly and cried so hard that my tears started too. Her parents with glassy eyes kneeled next to us and hugged us both while we sobbed and cried for different reasons… Jessica was crying for her brother, her best friend, the person in the world that knew her better then herself and that she loved so much.

I was crying for him, but for my Jessica too. My girl didn't deserve so much pain, so much loss!

I was crying for Bella. How would she react to this news? How should we tell her that just as she found real love it had been so cruelly taken from her?

How unfair life can be! They only had seven days together! Seven days of happiness and joy and freedom, now gone.. Forever.

Because of that love, Bella's face was always smiling even whilst sleeping and that sweet happiness brought Jessica and I closer as we shared that moment as our own.

How can life be so cruel to take a young boy before he even lived?

We all stayed for a while hugging each other until Jessica's father stood up and took his daughter in his arms. The sobbing continued and Jessica's mother hugged me strongly as I've never been hugged before and rocked me as a baby.

I felt so much love in that moment for all of them that I couldn't stop crying. Love. The key word that I missed my whole life was found when Edward lost his life. His love.

**Jacob POV**

This place is so weird lately that I almost regret coming back.

After I heard the hurricane warning five days ago I anticipated my return to make sure Bella would be safe. Now that I'm sure I love her and don't want anyone else, I had to be near her. To protect her… even if she still had a boyfriend.

The first two days she barely ate or talked and only when communications came back she got a little more excited, but for a brief moment.

She was always with her cell in her hand. She would dial a number and then as no answer- I think- she'd put it down for a while, picking it again writing-texting someone I suppose- and then after a while repeat the dialing with no answer.

Whenever the phone rang she'd jump, but I suppose not being who she wanted to hear on the other side her face would fall again.

I never asked her if James knew about the kiss or how were things between them. I could see on her face that she was still hurt. The old routine of the calling with no answer was more intense and I could see she was suffering and missing him.

Whenever I joined the table the conversation would change but I knew they were talking about James.

The only thing I knew and from Seth, after I almost threatened him, was that they broke up.

I didn't have the guts to ask why or if I had anything to do with it.

It didn't matter after all.

She was alone and I would stick around until she'd forget about him.

One more thing that I noticed was that guy I met on Bella's birthday. Edward. I even asked Seth about him too-this time with no need to threaten – as he answered in a strange snappy angry tone that "_Edward went to mainland to see his brother that had an accident_".

Maybe Seth was missing him that much. Who knows what that homo thinks? And why do I care?

I only want to be close to Bella while she needs support. I know that one day all of this will be forgotten and I can have her all for myself.

First thing is to keep her away from Seth! I can't stand that gay boy any longer!

Second thing: Alice! That block cock that took Bella from my arms that night!

Those two have to stay away… and those other two, Jessica and Angela? Don't trust them either. They seem too _friendly _to me and I don't want them near Bella. That " kind of friendship" can catch Bella and fighting with two women is something I don't want to do… well maybe in a bed .. They're good looking… maybe a threesome… No!

The few friends I have in Black island are trusty and will look out for her whenever I'm not around. Maybe I'll make some arrangements for her to work at _Crows Market. _After all she is taking a secretary scholarship and the old man needs help with the accounting. He even tried to make me take that secretary thing on to help him, but no way! I'm a guy. Don't work with papers! I like to get dirty with the motor engines, the oil, the suspensions, the tools all of that is what makes me happy.

Having my own workshop and Bella working at my father's place, life will be wonderful. She can even give him a hand with the papers instead of me.

I can even see our boys playing around going back and forth, our two boys who will learn everything with their dad. No girls!

No man is putting a hand on my baby girls so we better not have any or else I'll send them to Blue Island for Bella's parents to take care of them.

I just remembered! The marriage! It's tradition to be on the Bride's land so I guess I'll have to stay in Blue Island for a while… after all I need to conquer her family right?

So I get a job first on Blue Island and after the marriage we go to Black Island and set us up.

Thinking was making me thirsty so I decided to go to the bar.

It was getting late but a beer is always welcome and some company wouldn't be too bad either.

Like I say since the hurricane hit, this place is weird and I even hardly see Seth around anymore. I bet he has a catch somewhere and is sleeping with it.

Walking into the bar I saw that it was almost deserted. The music was low and two chicks were dancing near their table. Nice moves… Again that idea of a threesome brushed my mind and I was hard in a second.

Drinking my beer I watched the girl's moves and went to their table

"Good evening ladies, may I join you?"

From the look and their eyes I could see they wanted more than company

"Please do join us… Hi I'm Vicky and this is Maggie"

"Pleasure to meet you girls, I'm Jake." Let's dance?

So I took them both to the middle of the bar forgetting all about my so much desired beer and their bodies were all around me. I got lost in the middle of those two and forgot all about what was happening at school. Tomorrow would be another day but tonight I can party!

**So... this is it. Hope you like for reading**


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing**

**Thanks to my solmigatudo. ly**

**My beta Pixie-belle88 is amazing! thanks for everything.**

**Me and pixie have a new project not twilight but we love (almost) all vampires so go check it on fanfiction(dot)net / u / 2969784 / LucPixielee**

**A new challenge is on : Cullen Swinger Contest on twiwrite hosted by upsidedownntwisted. Go check the rules and start writting NOW!**

**Check my blog for all the banners and links to great stories . Some are missing but I'll make a banner for each of them…one day **

**Thanks to all the girls and boy on twitter that make my days better and better. They make me smile, cry, jump up and down, blush...like good friends they are. Thanks to all of you. You know who you are!**

**Dont forget to check round 2 on avantgardeawards and vote! Last day!**

**After all this, thanks for sticking with this story**

**Now let's dive...on a four pov ocean...**

**BPOV**

A month has passed and still no news... not that I was expecting any but I always wake up, check my Cell immediately …wishing, hoping, praying.

Everyone says I'm in denial, but I'm not. He's not dead, I refuse to believe it, and I can feel it in my veins.

When the troupe –Angela, Jessica, Alice and Seth- asked me to join them for a walk 3 weeks ago, I knew something was wrong, as they took me to _our_ place near the windmill. I mentally prepared myself for bad news; I mean the four of them were here!

Jessica told me all about the accident, how her father went to mainland to look for _him_ and visit Carlisle. She also told me that because of the accident, Carlisle's doctor's had to keep him in a induced comma to avoid any more set backs to his already slowly healing body. The bump wasn't deflating and the pressure on his brain was still a risk.

While Jessica blabbered about all this, Alice and Seth hold each of my hands, while Angela was comforting the tearless Jessica. I suppose everyone knew the news before I did so there was no shock or tears during the conversation.

Staying solid as a rock after Jessica's long speech I stood up, letting my friends hands go and went next to the shore. They all came behind me, fearing I would do something crazy… but I would never do that.

I just stared at the ocean. No tears, no screams, nothing. I knew there and then that my love wasn't dead. He's out there somewhere, alive. If I'm still alive, so is he. So I won't cry. I won't scream. Until I meet him again I'll stay faithful to the memory of our love- the memory of those seven precious days.

So, everyday without fail I write Edward a letter and send it to his address on the mainland- Jessica gave it to me, although she thought I was crazy at the time… and still does, it gives me comfort talking to him this way.

My friends are all worried. Alice even asked Jasp to come and visit us so he could talk some sense into my head. He'll be here later in the afternoon.

I don't think the rest of my family knows what's going on. Maybe he just made up some excuse like he misses Alice and me. But I don't really care.

My life goes on as always. I go to classes, I eat, I talk, I study and at the end of the day I go to my favorite place on earth and write Edward his letter. After which I go to bed and sleep.

Dreamless nights as if nothing is on my mind. I'm empty. Seems that since he left that Sunday morning my feelings, the good and the bad are drained, so I don't feel a thing. I was worried sick the first five days without any contact from him and that's when I metalize, that I needed to protect myself so I closed up and didn't let my feelings come out, protecting myself in a heavy armour.

So, here I go again the same circle, shower, dress, eat and then go write to my love. The man that somewhere is waiting for me as I am for him until we meet again, one day, which we will.

**APOV**

Finally! It's Sunday and I can't wait to go to the airport to wait for Jasper! He's coming on a rescue mission, as in bring Bella back to real life.

Since we found out that Edward had died all my worries went to her and I called Jasper in that very same moment still crying. Although he was concerned about Bella and me, he knew that we needed to give her time to return back to normal. Work wasn't helping either because of the damages and delays after the hurricane.

Only now, a month after the hurricane and Edward's death he had the opportunity and excuse to visit us so their parents wouldn't suspect anything was wrong. They had a recap on Green Island's Fire force on safety instructions during Hurricanes and Jasper applied to come. Not being a firefighter or cop, it was a lucky guess they would take him. So he'll be around for the next month. I'm so excited! But at the same time I can't forget my concerns about Bella. Her reaction to Edward's death isn't normal.

She wakes every morning expecting that her cell will have a message from Edward, and then she does ordinary stuff like the rest of us and after dinner goes to that damn place to write letters to Edward. Me and Seth take shifts daily to keep an eye on her. We are always waiting for her to collapse and jump in the ocean or something. Jessica on the other hand, is back to normal, as in a normal reaction for losing a brother and a friend. She mourned, she still cries when she sees Bella acting so…absent, but lets out her emotions, I just wish Bella would too.

We all miss Edward. He was a real sweetie and turned Bella's life inside out, so for that I will always love him, but now he's gone. We have to let him go… but Bella won't. She says he's alive as she is and if he was dead she would know. That's what made me ask Jasper to come here in the first place. The denial. No reactions what so ever. No pain, no happiness, nothing, she's empty.

Even Jacob, having become a little closer again to us, understands that Bella has changed. He never asked why or what happened and we don't talk about Edward when we are all together.

I know from Seth that Jacob had asked a few weeks ago about Edward and Seth only told him he went to see his brother. Nothing more, nothing less. So only the five of us know what happen.

Rumors are he never came back because his brother was worse, and once on TV after a Race for Championship they mention the name Cullen as still in recovery after a serious accident. I guess the teachers and principal know what happened for real but don't talk about it. His things were sealed in boxes and sent to the navy to be shipped home, it's like he never existed.

I still don't get that. They haven't found Edward's body and from what I know the official ceremonies were done with empty coffins with pictures of the whole family involved in the accident placed inside them. Jessica's father told her that only Esme's parents went to the funeral, as she never leaves Carlisle's bedside. He's been out for a month and I'm sure I wouldn't want to ever be in her place, spending day after day sitting, and waiting for him to wake up…then having the heartbreaking task of telling him he has lost all his family.

Tears ran down my face as usual these last days. A whole family vanished from the face of earth…well, their body's anyway. I'm sure Carlisle's doctors will soon release him from his meds to bring him back slowly. He's young, he'll survive, and he still has Esme at least.

One good thing to come out of this tragedy is that we all have a new friend… we've never met her but we talk to her every day on the phone. Esme needs the attention and we can relate to her pain. She was reluctant at first when we called, well when Jessica called, but then day after day she let us in and now all of us talk to her, including Bella once and a while.

So we seem like a big sad family around a survivor and a zombie, Bella being the Zombie these days. She's here but she's not. She looks terrible, losing weight and sometimes being sick so we are just waiting for her to break. Which will happen!.

Another reason why I had to call Jasper.

Looking at the time I realise it's time to call the cab and go get my love, my soul mate, my life.

Since Edward died it seems like I miss Jasper more and more each day. I even regret coming to this school and being away from him now. Life is really to short…

After I got to the airport I finally could smile widely… nowadays the air in school seems too thick although I know it's only my impression.

From the indications on the big screen; luggage of Blue Island was already being delivered so I went to the exit door of the waiting area.

When I saw those blue eyes and that beautiful face of his all my sadness disappeared and I ran to him jumping on his waist. Just in time as he let his bags fall to the floor to hold me and the kiss we shared had more feelings then words can describe. Love, lust, and lost all in one kiss.

I don't know how long – and really didn't care- we stood there kissing each other, until my love woke me up from my usual absence and put me down, still holding me close.

"Hello my love, what a welcome kiss!" he smirked and it went right down to a place it wasn't supposed to…

"Did you have a good flight love?" I asked, wishing we'd be alone already.

"Yes everything was normal. The passengers even clapped when the flight was over"

Sometimes in flights inter islands the regular passengers clap as a cheer to the pilot. We all know how much intense a simple flight can be in forty five minutes so we are always grateful to the pilot for making us land safely.

We walked out to the parking lot still in an embrace, while Jasp was looking for a cab to take us back to school. After we found one we hopped into the back seat. Jasper was coming to School first then head down town later on.

Holding hands was enough at this moment in time, we didn't need to speak. Just the look in our eyes said everything. We missed each other and the recent incidents in our sister's life just made us closer if possible. We didn't have to say the words that where on our minds to know that now more than ever our love was stronger and we couldn't live apart form each other.

We had to figure out our future but in no way I would be away from him more than necessary. These last few weeks have taught me that. Maybe he could find a job next to my college next year on the mainland… or I just could forget about that college thing…

"Don't you dare missy!" Jasper said interrupting my line of thought..

"What?" I asked with an inquisitive look

"Don't you dare start with that nonsense of leaving college! We'll figure it out" he said kissing my forehead and holding me even tighter.

_How does he manage to do this I never know…_

"Love, how did you know what I was thinking?" I had to ask

"Its easy babe, you've been talking about that for the past weeks. No way will I let you forget about your dream to go to college. As I already said, we'll figure it out." He said with his sweetest voice…the same voice that can make me forget my name and what I was thinking moments before.

We arrived at School finally, Jasper paid the cab fare and we went directly to Alec's office. Alec is the chief of security and responsible for the coming and going at the gate. He also notifies Felix and the others about new visitors so when they see the badge they know already who it is.

Being in a place like this sometimes has these simple things, that makes us feel over protected but we all appreciate it. Even when parents came to visit they have to register their names at the gate and leave their ID's.

Once inside I gave Jasper a brief tour and took him to our dorm.

"Wait here babe, I'm gonna get Bella" I kissed him and rant upstairs to our room.

When I open the door I saw something I wasn't supposed to… Angela and Jessica half naked, embraced, kissing hands all over_…ok to much information…to much visual… _

I closed the door quickly and silently- no way Bella was in there. I look through the back window and saw her sitting on the bench…again.

Running down the stairs I was about to kill Seth for not watching Bella in my absence, when suddenly he materialized in front of me giving Jasp a hug.

_Why do I feel jealous at that?_

"Hey you! Aren't you supposed to be watching Bella?" I rant

"Hey Al, I was giving my boy a welcome hug…jealous are we?"

_God this guy knows me too well._

Jasper was looking back and forth to us with a strange smile on his face...like he was enjoying our little battle.

"Jealous? Why should Al be jealous? …oh…oh! No way man! Alice is my love… You know that! I can never betray her… not even with you" and then to my surprise he kissed Seth's cheek.

Now I was shocked and pissed. They were teasing me… but I wouldn't let that get farther… not today that is.

"We have important stuff to do, when you two finish the smooching and cuddling I'll be out there looking for MY girl." I pointed towards the backyard trying hard not to growl or kick their asses.

Walking…more like running towards Bella I heard the goofiness of those two on my tail and I was getting pissed. Why on earth did they have to go along so well know? Jeez…

There was Bella. Absent. She was looking at the ocean playing with her pen between her fingers not even noticing our arrival.

"Bella?" I almost whispered hoping she wouldn't jump.

She turned calmly to us taking in the whole picture of who was there she stood up in a jump and ran to her brother's, already open arms.

That scenario made my eyes glassy again and as I started sobbing I went to my Seth's arms letting us both have the comfort needed with this emotional scene.

After one month, Bella finally had a reaction and rand to Jasp. That was progress, but then I heard her sobbing and I got worried and went to her. Seth stopped me in my tracks.

"Leave them alone. She just need her big brother."

I know this is wrong but I felt jealousy again. Here we are 24/7 with that girl and when her brother arrives… my boyfriend… she lets all that emotion out.

Almost as if he knew what I was thinking Seth pushed me towards the bench holding me by the waist and made me sit with my back to them, while he was still facing them.

"Alice, you know that she loves us. She could never let herself go like that with us afraid we would be hurt by her pain. She knows there's nothing we can do to help her."

Although I knew he had a point, something inside me was tearing apart…wasn't I her best friend? Like her sister, even more then her real sister? Why not share that with me?

"Honey, he's her older brother... Her… protector. Nothing can harm her when she is with him. She was sparing us from her pain, but for her, he's strong. He'll handle it." Seth said in his sweetest voice trying to cheer me up.

Having friends like this that almost hear your thoughts sometimes is a blessing but other times it just sucks. Now I feel like a jealous brat.

I turned my head around and Bella and Jasper where now sitting on the grass. Jasper was still hugging her while she cried.

Jasper was talking to her but in a whisper so we couldn't hear a thing, but I'm sure it would be the right things, if I know my love.

I'm so lucky… he's so sweet and lovely, has always the right words and he's… alive. My girl doesn't have that luck. Maybe with her brother here she would now come back to earth and realize that Edward is gone forever.

**Jasper POV**

Feeling my baby sister, holding her next to me while she cried was priceless. I could almost have bet she wouldn't react to me at all, but maybe the pressure is getting to her.

Trying to calm her down I whispered "I love you baby girl". "I'm here now, It will all be ok cry baby cry, let it all out."

After a while I made a sign to both Al and Seth to leave us alone. I could see Alice was upset, but the love of my life would have to wait. My baby sister needed me, and Bella was my priority at this moment.

I wink at Alice while mumbling "I love you" when she went by and she blew me a kiss.

She'll be ok. She knows how much she means to me. She knows I will love her forever and will never let go of her.

I like to see her jealous though, it's healthy for a relationship. It kinda makes me feel even more important to her. Even if it is while I hug Seth or my broken baby sister.

What am I gonna do with this little one? If she can't accept the fact that her Edward died she'll never go further in life, always waiting for him. Like the fairy tale, of Don Sebastian that will come out of the fog and recue all of us…

Well my sister lived her fairy tale, momentarily. Finding love in seven days and losing it right before her eyes in the worst way possible. To Death! Not being able to even say goodbye.

Not even my contact to police stations in the mainland worked. No one knew which bodies were found after that car accident. The navy takes care of their people and don't share, its so frustrating!

While I was thinking about all of this, I realize that slowly Bella was coming together. The sobbing was almost done and the tears almost over.

I hugged her, still waiting for her to talk whenever she wanted, or not at all.

I'm here for her, that's all that matters.

"Jasp? Thanks for coming" were her first words and I knew then I should've come sooner.

Maybe the damage was more severe than I had originally anticipated.

"Of course I came baby girl. You needed me. So what is all of this about? Wanna share with your big brother?"

Then she went on, smiling telling me everything about those seven days and the way Edward was sweet to her. While she talked, although she was looking to the ocean I notice something in her face that I never saw before. Genuine love for a boy. I was hurt that he had been taken from her so cruelly. My baby deserved more than that fortune in her life.

She stopped talking for a moment and looked at me while she talked about their last date.

I managed to figure how the night ended although Alice hadn't told me. Bella is my sister not my daughter…I wouldn't say anything about that. If she had sex, good for her…although I'd prefer she didn't at this point. Maybe that is what makes things harder for her. Her first love, her first lover… So I just nodded to make her comfortable.

Bella told me the way he treated her, pointing to the spot they made love and about his rage about forgetting the condom… ok not good but we'll deal with that later if needed.

Then she told me about the way he left, her concern about not hearing form him since that day. She told me that she called him when she woke that Sunday and the phone was already disconnected. She thought then that he'd maybe still be on the plane or something.

Then the power went off and the communications went down so all she could do was wait. But then nothing happened. No calls back, number disconnected. Like he was…

At this point I thought she was going to admit it and deep inside of me I tried to hold my fear of a severe breakdown, but once again my sister was in her own world, I finished the sentence with….lost.

And my baby sister smiled at me, with made me almost cry when she said.

"He's only lost. Somewhere. But he'll be back"

**?POV**

I heard the voices surrounding me but I couldn't understand them. Like they were speaking some sort of foreign language… not that I know which language I speak anyway.

I only know that for a long time I've been in this bed, all covered in some sort of cloth and have all these machines around me. I can't speak; I can't even breath by my own I think. Some of the machines must be doing this.

I don't know anyone around me and don't know where I am.

I just have the feeling that I don't belong here. I should be someplace else.

But I can't.

And while I can't I can only dream about her face. That face… that never left me. I dream about her and only see _her _since I woke up. The most beautiful face I can imagine in the world.

And I know I have to find her. I know she is important, I know she is my life. But that is the only thing I know.

**Thanks for reading!**

**Hope you liked it.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I own nothing**

**Thanks to my solmigatudo. ly**

**My beta Pixie-belle88 is amazing! Thanks for everything.**

**Me and pixie have a new project not twilight but we love (almost) all vampires so go check it on fanfiction(dot)net / u / 2969784 / LucPixielee**

**A new challenge is on : Cullen Swinger Contest on twiwrite hosted by upsidedownntwisted. Go check the rules and start writting NOW! Due date is august 12**

**Check my blog for all the banners and links to great stories . Some are missing but I'll make a banner for each of them…one day **

**Now go vote on thetwifestivals(dot)blogspot(dot)com for my friend upsidedownntwisted on the Best Jasper, Best Jacob, Best BDSM/Toy-Play Fic, Best Plot and Best New Author and for my wonderfull beta and friend Best One-Shot "The Kilted Vampire" . These two make me very proud!**

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**Thanks to all the girls and boy on twitter that make my days better and better. They make me smile, cry, jump up and down, blush...like good friends they are. Thanks to all of you. You know who you are!**

**After all this, thanks for sticking with this story**

**Now let's dive...in a different ocean...**

**BPOV**

_My love,_

_After two months without hearing from you I started to think like the rest of them that you were dead, they truly believe you have left this earth, but then something changed in my life and I know for sure that you are alive somewhere. I know you are alive Edward._

_Remember I told you about my little love Cris? Rose's baby? Remember how I told you his luck was to be so loved by his mother that the absent dad didn't matter that much?_

_I still think that having a father is better than not having any, but having a father like Aro, a father that doesn't take care of his kid or even shows love to him is worse than being orphan in my opinion._

_I've discussed this with Angela, remember Jessica's, girlfriend? Yes, they are out the closet now and I couldn't be happier for them. They keep a low profile but still they can't hide the love they have for each other, even in public it radiates off them, and most of that is because of you Edward. When you left, Jessica was so devastated that she took Angela's love, without any question and now Jess seems... almost happy. She still misses you badly but she's holding on to Angela to get through this time, and Angela isn't allowing her to mope about._

_So, as I was saying, Angela told me that she missed out on that feeling of being loved, her mother abandoned her at the orphanage and she never knew who was her father, imaging never having a parents love and feeling no on loved you in life._

_With Cris it's very different, thank God! We all love him and Rose would die for him without blinking. I think that's why she puts up with the things Aro does. The beatings and we found out too late but now she says Cris needs his dad so she'll stick with him. She will protect Cris to the end, a mother's love and protection is unconditional._

_I still can't accept Rose's decision but you already know that as we talked one day…two months ago when my life was perfect with you be my side._

_Now I have another person to love even more then you my love, I'm sorry. Your space is not taken but my love, will be bigger for our baby._

_Yes Edward, that one night, that perfect, sweet first time and I've been given the most wonderful blessing after meeting you._

_I found out yesterday, because of Alice. She was getting worried about me being sick all the time so we went to the doctor. He asked a lot of questions and I blushed at many of them, but the point is that I did a blood test and I' pregnant. _

_Of course the doctor says I'm 8 weeks, because what I told him so, I think that in June when I'm at home I'll have our baby._

_I wish you were here to share this joy with me. It's not fair that our baby can't be with his daddy. He needs you Edward. He needs his father, as much as I need you, or even more. Now, more than ever, I need you next to me. I know you'll always be with me but still I need your presence. I'm afraid of not being able to give our baby all the love he needs for both of us._

_Sometimes I even imagine what your reactions would be._

_You'd pull your air up from you lungs until it'd shoot up by itself and say things like "it was my fault", " damn condom" but on the other end you'd be happy, jumping around the place, making all sort of plans as I do now all by myself._

_But I'm not totally alone. If there's a baby in the world that will be loved, then it's is ours. Alice, at first was scared and Jasp almost had a heart attack when I told him but once they both calmed down, they confess to be thrilled about our baby._

_Angela and Jessica couldn't be happier and even say they're leaving Green Island when I leave, to go to Blue Island to be next to their "nephew". And Esme! Oh God she cried so much when I told her. Your brother's girlfriend is so sweet, that I wish I could go to her and hold her hand._

_They are reducing the sedatives from your brother very slowly but at any bad reaction signs he is put back in to the induced coma and Esme is about to go crazy! After two months of never leaving his side, she finally gave in and went home where she slept a bit. I told her yesterday that her nephew will need her and she found another reason to keep herself sane. She left Carlisle that night with her mother (he couldn't be all alone right?) and slept on her bed at home. When she woke up this morning sent me a text saying: _

"_Tell my nephew aunt Esme slept very well xoxo" _

_Now we have a baby to take care of, but first I need to take care of myself. _

_I started to eat better since yesterday and will do everything in my power to make sure our baby is born healthy and happy._

_I miss you every second of the day but now I need to let that go a bit. I can't let myself be depressed for our baby's sake. _

_I know you are out there. I'm still sure of it. But I'll have to let you go a bit so I can take care of myself and our baby._

_One day we will be holding our baby together and it will be one the happiest days of my life._

_I'll write to you tomorrow my love with more details about my day, now fulfilled with a new subject: Our baby, our love._

_Always yours forever_

_Bella_

"Girls I'm just gonna put this in the mail box and be right back" I looked to the girls and as always they made that sad face whenever I take "The lost Letter" to the mailbox.

They don't understand why I still write to Edward daily. Now that the days are colder I write inside and they always respect my moment but still don't get it.

The one in my trembling hands was for sure the most important letter of them all.

Edward needs to know that he's gonna be a daddy!

I wish he was here, but I know deep inside of me that one day I'll be with him again.

While I pass the boys dorm, Jacob was sitting on a bench with his cell in hand, I suppose texting someone.

"Hey Jake! Texting your girl are we?" I saw him jump on the bench, not expecting me at all and I giggled. He's sweeter now or maybe my eyes just see him in a different way.

"Bella! Where you going in this cold wind?" he asked really worried after the initial shock of seeing me.

"Just to put a very important letter into post office, outside campus, wanna come?" I could really enjoy the company of someone that wouldn't think I'm crazy for writing all these letters

"Sure, let's go" he stood up and putting his arm around my shoulders smiled at me "At least I can protect you from the cold wind.

We never spoke about that night or the letter he wrote me and I felt bad for letting him holding me like this but still it was comforting.

"So who's the letter for? Family?" His question was an icebreaker and I knew it, but I wasn't prepared to share it with him.

"Yeah, family." I answered vaguely.

He noticed my vague answer but didn't push it, I could sense that some awkwardness was back and I went in for the kill.

"Jake, about the letter you wrote me, I'm sorry I never …" he cut me off putting his fingers on my lips, which felt odd.

"Bella, you still talk to me after all that, that's important enough to me so we don't have to talk about that. If you can still speak to me after I was a part of your breakup, I don't need another word about it" he held me even closer and I knew I should keep things clean but somehow I let it go.

"Ok Jake, but you were not the reason we broke up. Let's keep it that way"

Getting close to the mail office I realized that it had been weeks since I had a conversation that would include Edward. It was weird but nice at the same time. Now that I now that I'm having his baby the world seems more interesting and I can and need to connect with other people so I can learn a lot to teach my baby. He'll be the most important thing in life.

Suddenly my baby made his presence known, so far I hadn't suffered any morning sickness, but now I could feel my earlier meal trying to escape. I held my breath for a while not wanting to be sick on the street but it got worse and I had to turn around to the garden next to the post office pulling Jake's arm away from me and threw up.

One second later Jake was holding my hand and asking me lots of questions at the same time but I was concentrating on breathing. The fresh air should help, as the doctor said, without any smells around that could provoke my upset stomach, but Jake being next to me wasn't helping so I shoved him away with one arm while holding my stomach with the other.

"Bella, what's wrong? Let me help! Want me to call someone? Bella what can I do?" He was getting panicked.

Although I heard his voice I was afraid of answering knowing that any sudden move of my mouth could provoke another vomit and I didn't think I still had anything left inside.

I tried to breathe slowly first inhaling with my nose to make sure no smell was gonna make me sick again and then I opened my mouth to take a deep breath as to be sure that it had gone away.

Standing straight, I looked at a petrified Jake standing next to me. I almost laugh at the sight. A big man like him horrified at a sick woman throwing up, but something in those eyes made me contain myself. I saw worry and concern in his eyes and I knew that, even if I only thought about it made me stop laughing, before I started.

"I'm ok now Jake. I just get sick easy nowadays. It will go away in a few weeks" I told him regretting it right away.

"Did you see a doctor? You sure you don't want me to call an ambulance?" he was still standing pale, if even possible behind that tanned face.

"No need for that Jake, I'm not _sick sick _I'm… pregnant." I told him to ease him up but it turned the other way around and he suddenly became furious. His eyes suddenly narrowed and the hard expression of his face scared me.

"W-What d-did you say? Y-YOU ARE PREGNANT?" he screamed out and I got even more scared.

"Yes Jake I am _pregnant_. Why you concerned about it?" I asked through gritted teeth

He seemed about to kick something or someone and I wished I never came out of campus…or invited him…or tell him… I was pregnant!

_Bang!_ I slap my forehead! Jeez! How could I say this to him? He was in love with me! I felt so bad for making him suffer I kneeled on the floor.

His instant reaction has to help me up, but I looked him in the eyes. "Jake, I'm so sorry. I was so selfish telling you this, _like_ this, knowing the way you feel. I'm so sorry, please forgive me!"

With his eyes still narrowed but with a calmer look on his face, he took my hands in his and helped me get up. "Bella, there's nothing to forgive. You are not mine to keep, so I have nothing to say or do about it. I overreacted, and I'm sorry. I must have scared you right?"

I still could ease myself up although I let my hand take his while he helped me up. Something had changed and the sweetness was gone. I took it as I sigh that he has still hurting, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Let's go back Jake, I'm cold and I need to get something in my stomach again" I tried to joke.

He smiled but his eyes were still in that scary narrowed way that made me feel so uncomfortable.

"Ok momma, let's go and feed you. After all you just threw up what I suppose was lunch, right?"

I smiled at him sheepishly, still feeling unease but I did walk back to campus leaving my beloved Edward's letter in my pocket as it was. I'd come back tomorrow and send it.

**JPOV**

While we were walking back I had this rage inside me that I was trying to fight the feeling before I did something stupid. When I heard her say she was pregnant I could've killed that bastard James, he had done this to her. She wasn't his anymore how could he take her on that last night and then leave her?

I tried with every beat of my heart not to fist the wall next to me when she said that.

She was pregnant. The woman I love was pregnant with another guy's kid. Another man touched_ my Bella! _That wasn't right! And then as nothing had happened he left and she has his child inside her. A baby bastard! A one, that will never meet his father, or will he? Will she tell him she's pregnant? Will she tell him it's his?

"Bella?" I tried to ease my voice in a sweet tone "Does the father know?"

She looked at me as if she'd seen a ghost and I couldn't get that reaction. Was she afraid of him?

"No Jake, he doesn't know yet. I can't find him anywhere. It's like his lost" she said with the saddest tone of voice I've ever heard.

That made me even angrier. That bastard left her and again without letting her know where he was or how he was. Wasn't breaking up with her enough? He had to hide too? What kind of a man does that?

"Bella, I'm sure someone at his work knows about his whereabouts. Have you tried that?"

Silence. She became silent and suddenly she smiled and said. "Don't worry, this baby is gonna be very much loved regardless if I ever see his father again."

She smiled but her tone of voice betrayed her smile and she choked on emotion. Tears didn't fall but the silence was sad enough for me to know that she loved her baby, more than anything no matter what.

The jealousy came again. Another person had her unconditional love again and it wasn't me.

I had to do something.

She was mine. I waited long enough for her to cry and mourn that stupid three year relationship she had. Now she was supposed to be mine. _All mine_.

Silently we walked back to campus, but this time I didn't dare to embrace her.

I needed to find out more about this situation. If he doesn't know maybe its time I jump in, slowly…she never loved him so she can't be that sad about the breakup. Now she needs a father for her child…I'll have to go slowly, let all the rage go away and be the sweetest guy she has ever met. I'll be always around and I'll make her fall in love with me. No more out weekends. From now on, I'll keep myself to her. I'll be her friend, then I'll be there for her when her baby is born.

I'll be the father he doesn't have. He won't be a bastard. I'll marry her, get her safe and we'll be a happy family. He'll be my son... even if not mine biologically. But we can have our own later. I'll love Bella every day of my life.

In my head all was figured out, so now I just had to go slowly and get the plan out…very slowly.

**?POV**

Hearing all those voices surrounding me wasn't helping the headache I had.

In the last days, I don't know how much time, since I don't remember when I came in here, all the voices seem happier to see me get better. I still can't speak because of the tube that goes down my throat; I suppose its helping me breathe. But, even if I could speak, what would I say? I don't know who I am. I can't feel a thing on my body and I still don't know why I only listen to strange voices. They seem professional but not caring ones.

Well maybe one of the voices shows some caring. I think her name is Vicky or Victoria, like the others calls her but I could swear she told me in a whisper her name is Vicky. I suppose she's a nurse or something but I still can't open my eyes.

I mentally recap what I already know: I had an accident they don't know how and was severely burnt. I was brought in without reference to the vehicle I was in, since all of them were burned in the crash. I think that it's about 80% of my body that has burns and I need some skin transplants from some areas to make the others heal. I can't feel a thing but I believe the drugs they are giving me most be powerful. Sometimes I fall asleep without being tired. Then when I wake up and make some movement Vicky is always around. This girl seems never to leave my side. I wish I could see her face.

They have my head covered and eyes too. From what I've heard I had a bad concussion and the swelling on my head is affecting my reflective signals.

My eyes shouldn't be covered but they-the doctors- seem to be scared that the light will cause more pain, so only at night they lighten up the cover in my eyes and I can see some of the shadows surrounding me.

I still don't get any personal information about myself. They call me John, but I don't think that's my name at all.

No one seems to be looking for me, as in I hear them say it's weird I'm not on the missing board…whatever that means.

I hear footsteps and I feel happy that at least my hearing is ok and my brain too…if only I could find out who, and why I'm here.

"John, its Vicky. Its' time for your sedative, you need to sleep. You're brain activity is much higher than usual and that's not good. You need to take it easy. "

Then as she was speaking only for herself, she went on,

"Such a beautiful sweet face and a perfect body behind those burn areas…what a waste. He shouldn't be alone like this. Why doesn't this man belong to someone? And his body all burned… I wish he could hear us and tell us what he feels and who he is."

_I wish I knew too Vicky_- I thought but didn't make a move. Somehow I knew it would be better for me if I stay still without letting them know I can hear them. This way maybe I can find out more about what happened and finally find out who I am.

As the powerful drug went in to my veins again I eased my mind and went back to remember the only face I knew was really important to me…That sweet face was my only memory of my life and i fell asleep dreaming with her again.

**Thanks for reading...again**


	12. Chapter 12

**I own nothing as you all know**

**Thanks again and again to my Beta, Pixie-belle88, I own her a lot.**

**Solmigatudo, ly**

**Don't forget to write for the Cullen Swinger Contest on twiwrite, due date August 12!**

**And to vote on thetwifestivals(dot)blogspot(dot)com for my friend upsidedownntwisted on the Best Jasper, Best Jacob, Best BDSM/Toy-Play Fic, Best Plot and Best New Author and for my wonderfull beta and friend Best One-Shot "The Kilted Vampire" .**

**Congrats to TWILIFE2011 for her The Best of Both Sides!**

**And last but not least thanks to all of those that still read and review this story, week after week, even when I think it sucks… but then I get some great reviews and I feel it's worth it.**

**Girls and boy out there, true friends, thanks. **

**Now lets dive...in a mango ocean?**

**APOV**

Jasper and I were spending some last precious moments together, his time here on the Island had been mostly taken up working with the Fire Force, learning safety measures but I knew we had to talk about Bella…again.

"Jasp, love, what are you gonna tell your parents about Bella?" I asked fearing the answer. Jasp, never lies…well almost never.

"Al, I still don't know. I think she needs to tell them herself. It's a month till Christmas vacations and I think she has to tell them before she goes home. My dad is gonna want to kill her and my mom will want to kill herself. So, maybe with the holiday spirit in place, they will all get along. So I wish…" he said with a hopeless tone.

We both know that their parents are gonna have a bad time accepting a baby out of marriage, and most of all an absent father in the middle. They will make her feel bad for having sex before marriage. Sometimes being catholic…taken to an extreme way of ruling your life is too much for young people. All that no sex, no condom, behave, yada yada yada is too much for us.

They will probably demand that she weds the father…and I know she would right away, but she can't… how will we explain that to them? Tell them she had sex with a guy she met in 7 days and then he died? If only Edward was alive all of this would be solved. They would get married to make her parents happy and then all would be forgotten when the baby is born.

I bet that even Rose will help. She knows how hard it is to have a baby with an absent father, even if, in her case the absent father is there every day, making it worse.

Rose is our best allied on this. She will tell them the benefits of having a baby with love around and not hate all the time. She'll let them know that marriage is not the best solution when you're pregnant, like in her case.

She got married to Aro in her first pregnancy but after a strange accident where she fell down the stairs, she lost the baby days after marriage ceremony. Cris was born one year later as a miracle baby to solve all the problems in their marriage.

At the time even I realized that was a bad choice, but as Rose says, Cris is the love of her life and not a problem solver.

I feel bad for Rose, she has become bitter in the past year, since we found out about the beatings and cheating but I can understand her. The only person that sees her smile is Cris.

I wish she could find someone to truly love her. She can be a bitch sometimes but still deserves to be happy, be a woman in the full sense of the word, not a working-till-death one.

"Earth to Al!" ok… there I go again… I have to take this last night with my love free of absent moments.

"Sorry love, I was just thinking about Rose and Cris and Bella and the baby…" Jasper cut me off taking my lips on his. The kiss got deeper and deeper and I hugged him so hard that I moaned until he cut our embrace after a very discrete cough interrupted us.

"Will the couple want some dessert?" The waiter asked with a smirk

I giggled while he gave me the dessert list and mumbled into Jasp's ear

"I would like to have dessert but not this kind right now".

Jasper laughed loud and put his arms around my shoulders and lightly kissed me on the cheek while we both took a look to the desserts.

I choose a chocolate mousse and he wanted a mango one. My guy loves mangos… I blushed at the memory of a _mango party_ we had once. Having the house to ourselves, he took me to his bedroom where the whole room was filled with mango scent. He had mango slices, mango juice and massage oil …with mango. The room had only candle lights and red and orange pillows -that were from Rose's old room- on the floor set up like a picnic…a laying pillow… then he ordered me to undress and lay on the pillows. He started to give me little pieces of mango first with his fingers but after a while he gave it with his mouth always finishing the slice with a kiss. The kisses were getting deeper and more passionate when he suddenly spilled juice over my body. The memories of that feeling made me moan…

"Al, are you ok?" Jasp, asked and I blushed.

"Yes love, just remembering our mango party" I look at him and his eyes went on fire. He always said that was the most exciting night of his life and the memories makes us both excited.

"Al, this is not the place for us to talk or remember that… I still have to get up you know?" he said looking down and I got the message. Only with the mention of that night he was already hard…and that could be embarrassing if he couldn't…control himself before we leave.

Jasper has this thing with underwear…well he doesn't have a thing. He doesn't wear it unless at work. Otherwise he never does. For, boxers were made to restrain a man and he avoids them all the time.

Not that I'm complaining but when he doesn't have nothing to hold that devil below, and wears tight jeans, something has to show… again, not complaining, but its mine to look at.

So in an attempt to... settle little Jasp down, I went back to our concerns.

"Jasper, what are we gonna do about Jacob and Bella?"

Ok, that distracted him.. Now, he's angry.

Jacob has been wandering around Bella a lot, telling her he'll be the father of her child, he'll marry her, he'll go and tell her parents about the baby, he, he, he…and Jasper is about to kick the guy in the balls.

We could understand all of that if he was the father but he's not. Edward is. Bella believes Edward is alive… we don't. But Bella didn't tell Jacob who was the father. He thinks its James. So, all of this mess can get worse… if he continues to go on the way he's acting.

I can see him, getting in a fight with James, just like that and getting Charlie involved.

Oh god what a mess!

Bella thinks he's just being protective, as he loves her, but me and Jasper think that Jacob is bad news for her and we already told her that but she doesn't agree..

Once he grabs her, he'll never let go and Bella deserves to be free, to find love again.

Once she lets Edward go, if that ever happens.

Not that I believe he's alive but she does and until she takes that idea of her head we have to support her the best we can so that someday she can learn to love again.

We try, all of us, to make her realize that Edward is dead. That those letters will just get into his mailbox and that one day, when Carlisle gets back form the hospital he is gonna put them away.

We asked Esme about the receiving letters for Edward and she guaranteed that the housekeeper the navy hired to take care of the house while Carlisle is in the hospital and is saving all the letters as she asked her to do.

They are all l in a box in Edward's room.

Maybe one day, the baby can read them and understand how much his parents loved each other for such short time.

While I was thinking I realized that Jasper was absent too. I knew he must have been thinking of Bella again, being the main subject in our life nowadays.

We had a discussion about telling or not telling Rose for now about the baby and he thought it would be better if Bella told her in 3 weeks when she leaves for the Christmas holidays.

I'm leaving in two weeks, going to mainland. I've applied for a new college and I'll have to go there for my interview. Being the middle of the first semester this interview has a vacancy and it would take me to leave this school and get the first three months in days.

I'm excited about it, although I think Bella needs me now more than ever, I can't give my future away. Nowadays is hard to get in to med school and I have to take a shot at this opportunity, that came out of nowhere without me expecting at all.

I told everyone I was ok with the fact I didn't get the chance to get in at the beginning but I was sad about it. I saw my life as Rose's. Caught in a life she didn't choose because she wasn't allowed to go to nursing school. Then Aro, that poor excuse of man!

Fortunately I'm with my love that will wait for me until I take my degree... The man of my life knows I'm he's …but Rose doesn't have the same fortune. I've been thinking a lot about her lately…

Maybe, because I see her story again, with Bella. What will she do after the baby is born? If all goes well, she can finish school right on time for the baby to be born on Blue Island, but she can't take the training after school is over. She'll have to stay at home with the baby and I don't know if they will allow her to take the training after that.

We've talked about it, me and Jasper and he thinks that Bella should just go home and have her kid.

I don't agree. I think she should stay until she can here and then we'll see what to do.

Of course I don't even know if I'm gonna be accepted in the med school. I'm one in one hundred candidates form the islands so it's a blank shot.

After the dessert and with both of us deep in our thoughts we went to the motel room Jasper reserved for the night. At least this last night we would be together.

The excitement of before was fading and all of the problems were around our heads. We didn't speak at all when we got in the room, and just sat in the bed.

Jasper was holding his head with both hands and I tried to get to him pulling one hand to mine.

Those sweet blue eyes looked at me and with his other hand he held my chin and kissed me. The kiss was so sweet, hurt and needed that I almost cried.

**BPOV**

With everyone all around me going so crazy about this baby I just needed time for myself in my favorite place in the world. How could I ever let this place go when school was over?

How could I leave the only place in the world were all my life turned upside down and I found love. The two loves of my life? Edward and our baby.

I've been thinking I shouldn't go back to Blue Island. Maybe I should try my luck over here in Green Island. The problem is that alone it's gonna be harder to take care of the baby and get a job.

I should spend the first months with my parents, if they don't kill me by then or give the baby for adoption…

Of course I won't let that happen and sometimes the suggestion that Jacob made, assuming the baby gets in my mind. That would shut up my parents and nosy neighbors and the rest of the family.

I've think about all of this and I have two options, stay or leave.

Take care of this baby alone, without any help here in Green Island, far from my family and the judgments that will come. Being a single mother is something that is considered a sin for the older people on the islands. I don't feel that at all. I think this baby is a blessing and God will never judge me. The baby was conceived with all the love that a man and a woman can feel, conceived in a unique moment that unfortunately will never repeat itself again.

For the sake of my baby I need to let Edward go. I need to get real and realize that maybe he will never came back. This baby will know who his father was and how much we loved each other, and still do, always will. I still have the feeling that Edward is alive, but somehow can't reach us. Maybe one day we will meet again, and it's my duty to take care of his baby the best I can until we meet again. As if Edward was in a long commission abroad… a long one that we will never know when it ends. So until then I'll write to him. I will take care of our baby.

To do all of this alone is gonna be hard, so going back to Blue Island is probably the best chance I have. But I can't let the baby suffer the naughty eyes of everyone. They will call him names, they will make him fee bad for being conceived and I can't handle that.

I'm so confused right now.

Should I go? Take my parents as an anchor that will drown us? Letting them ruin all the good things in life, because I know they will. They will give us a hard time.

Should I stay? Take the responsibility alone? Live on this island taking my chances all by myself? I can't even think of Alice's help because if all goes good she'll be on mainland on med school… and Jasper… alone without her, concerned about her and me at the same time. At least I could count on Jessica and Angela. That's a good start.

Oh shit. What should I do? Jasper is my main concern after the baby. He won't let my parents talk back to me and will take my side as he does now and his life is gonna be miserable.

Rose… well, she'll understand part of this, after the baby is born, but will regret my choice of going back. She's always hoping that I make better than her in life and not going to college made her hate me for a while… but it was my choice after all and not a obligation.

My parents will never understand how I could have sex in the first place and then will recriminate me for being pregnant without a father to take responsibility for the baby.

That's why I think that Jacob's offer last night when we came back to campus was worth thinking of.

He ed to be my side and take responsibility for the baby in front of my parents. Of course he thinks the baby is James's but he doesn't need to know all of it…or does he? He did show some concern about the situation and is thinking about assuming a baby that isn't his in front of my parents.

What if my parents make us marry each other? I know my father very well…he can be a piece of shit when honor is at stake. He will probably make that a state for me to stay with them.

Oh god, what a mess. After the happiness of knowing I was pregnant comes real life, crashing down on me

I still can't figure out what I should do.

Stay in Green Island alone with the help of Angela and Jessica, leaving my family behind, counting on my brothers just at long distance?

Go to Blue Island, take Jacob's offer and let my parents command our life until I have the strength to take care of my baby by myself?

I have to think all of this over…

**?POV**

I woke up with the need to scream… but I still couldn't. All of the machines around me where loud as hell… maybe my bad dream made them crazy like I felt right now. The only thing that's on my mind is that face, in danger. My dream girl is in danger somehow and I can't do a thing to help her.

The minutes after I woke up, was chaos in my room. The staff was wondering why I was so agitated and why my heart beat was so out of control. My brain was having some kind of overreaction to some sort of motivation and of course they couldn't figure out why.

I heard the voices surrounding me and wanted to scream at them, just to say it was a bad dream, but I couldn't even open my eyes, or move anything like everything was in strings…only my brain was active.

Once again I wished I could get up, tell them to leave me and go out in the world to find out who I was but most important find the girl in my dreams.

**Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I own nothing as you all know**

**Thanks again and again to my Beta, Pixie-belle88, I own her almost everything, she makes me write even i think the chapter is gonna be crap and then makes it shine.**

**Solmigatudo, ly**

**Don't forget to write for the Cullen Swinger Contest on twiwrite, due date August 12!**

**And to vote on thetwifestivals(dot)blogspot(dot)com for my friend upsidedownntwisted on the Best Jasper, Best Jacob, Best BDSM/Toy-Play Fic, Best Plot and Best New Author and for my wonderfull beta and friend Best One-Shot "The Kilted Vampire" .**

**And last but not least thanks to all of those that still read and review this story, week after week, even when I think it sucks… but then I get some great reviews and I feel it's worth it. I know I haven't reply to all of you but I'm getting ready for long vacations so I've been very busy.**

**Girls and boy out there, true friends, thanks.**

**Now let's dive...in a ocean of tears**

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**BPOV**

"_Dear Edward,_

_This is probably one of the last letters you'll receive from me. No, this is the final one I will write, please understand my reasons my Love._

_As I've I told you before I don't believe you're gone but I need to move on. I need our baby to have a life without me expecting and needing all the time for you to come back._

_I'll be always waiting for you, but I have to move on for the sake of our baby. _

_Our love will always be the most cherished memory I'll keep forever, which will now join the birth of our baby, his first smile, his first word, his first steps… all of it; I'll keep in my heart right beside my love for you. Not my only love now, but my first real love that gave me my second love._

_I've been thinking about names and I think that if it's a boy I'll call him Dylan, as in son of the sea but if it is a girl I'll call her Thalassa, as in the Greek term for sea._

_Both of these names are related to the ocean that joined but is now keeping us apart._

_I love you Edward so much that even writing this letter hurts, because I know it's almost a goodbye._

_I'm going to spend the next two weeks at my parents for Christmas and it's gonnagoing to be one of the most difficult things I've had to do. Leaving this island, the place I met you, the place I fell in love with you, the place we made sweet love and the place our baby was conceived._

_Its' gonnagoing to be hard leaving tomorrow, very hard. It seems like I'm leaving a part of me behind, because all I have of you is the memories and our baby. Even if the baby is always with me I still need you. I need you always Edward, but I have to let you go._

_All this sadness and despair of not knowing when and if you'll be back is too much for me to handle, and I can't hurt our baby with sadness even before he's born._

_So, here is my plan. I go to my parents and tell them what happened._

_I know they are gonnagoing to be hurt, angry and they will probably kick me out of the house, but if they do I'll know who to count on._

_Jasper and Alice is my support network, although even they can't help me on this, this I have to do alone, so if things get really bad, I'll go to Alice's house until she comes back from the mainland"_

-oh god I hope she gets into med school this time-

"_Then if my parents deny helping me, I'll come back to this island, finish school and stay here, so in case you get ever need to look for me you know where to find me._

_If my parents don't react the way I'm anticipating, I'll still come back for school until I can and then who knows? Maybe I'll stay with them a while and then come back here. _

_All is up in the open, all is… waiting. For me, I would never leave this place, ever. But I have a family that loves me and our baby needs family around to love him, to fill in a bit of the part that's missing. You._

_I promised Esme that after 3 months I'll go to the mainland to show her and Carlisle our baby and I'm keeping that promise. I will, as our baby grows I'll tell him all about you daily, about your family and hopefully Carlisle will be ok and we will all take care of the baby._

_I wish so much that you would come back. I dream of you every night. Only good things Edward. I never dream that you are….dead. Ever! That's why I keep telling everyone that you are alive. For me you are and always will be alive, inside of me, you live through our baby in my heart and soul._

_Even though I think all of this to be true, I need to let you go a bit and to stop writing every day is my first step._

_Please never ever think I forgot about you. How could I?_

_Edward, I love you with all my heart, but it's time to let you go. I'll keep you in my dreams, in my memories and in my wishes. I'll pray every day for you to be safe, but the first step is to stop writing as I said. _

_That's gonna be so hard for me. It is already. Writing this letter sitting in our favorite place for the last time is so hard that I can't stop crying and this can even be bad for the baby._

_Edward, when you get this letter please remember I love you. Remember those beautiful seven days we had and never ever blame yourself for that night. Thanks to that night I'll always have a big part of you with me forever._

_I'll see you in my dreams, I hope I'm in yours Edward my love_

_Yours forever_

_Bella."_

After reading the letter I put it aside. I know I need to get on with my life but I can't. I think I say that too much. I need to. But I don't want to. That's the problem. I don't want to move on. I don't want to live a life without Edward even if I have a part of him with me, I want to raise our baby together cherish every milestone of out child's life together.

I have to let Edward go but it's so hard… I think that maybe if I keep repeating that to myself I'll believe it.

"Bella?" I heard Seth's voice softly as a whisper and I moved to turn around.

His face was full of worry and sadness and I knew I was the biggest problem in his life, so I cleaned the tears from my face and took the letter to put it inside my jacket pocket.

"Hey Seth, anything wrong?" I asked knowing that for him he felt everything was wrong but he'd probably never tell me.

"No Bella, it's not. I need to talk to you. Seriously." He took my hands in his and I shivered at his touch, he was cold as ice.

"Seth you're so cold, why don't we go inside?" I tried to avoid the conversation that I already knew was coming.

"Bella, don't do this with me ok? I'm cold, because it's cold outside and you are outside in the cold!" his voice raised a bit almost angry.

"I know Seth. I was just leaving. I just had to say goodbye …" he cut me off

"No Bella, that's it! You are not saying goodbye. You can't let him go. Look. I know it must be hard to believe his gone, but all evidences say he is." He held my hands even harder and shook them as if he was trying to wake me up.

"Bella you have to stop writing to him. You need to move on with your life even if you don't want to. You have another person in your life that needs you to be strong. _Your baby_"

Tears fall from my eyes as I remember the things I wrote to Edward, but couldn't let go.

"I'm trying Seth" I sob "I'm trying to let him go. This letter _is_ a goodbye letter. I know I need to go on, I even wrote what you just said, but it's hard. Just so hard." I sob and couldn't stop the tears again.

Seth hugged me tight and rocked me, like Jasper had done months ago.

We stayed like that for a while and a shiver reminding me it was time to go in.

"Seth, I'm cold. Let's go inside please."

He looked at me wiping my tears from under my eyes with this thumbs and kissed my cheek still holding me tightly.

"Sure hun, let's go in. We don't need a sick mom around now, do we?" he smiled and I smiled back at him.

Standing up I looked back to my favorite place in the world and for moment saw the whole picture. Edward and I, listening to music, laughing, making love. All of that, gone, in aan instant, cruelly parting us both forever. I had to let it go. I had to let Edward go so I could go on too.

Feeling my sadness and the good friend he was, Seth held my shoulders and forced me to leave.

No matter what, I couldn't look back and ever come here again until I manage to remember Edward as he was and not feel this ache inside of me.

So, as we walked to my dorm I said goodbye to our place knowing that I could never return.

As we approached I saw a shadow right next to the dorm and I didn't need to imagine who it was.

"Jacob?" Seth asked as we approached the shadow.

Jacob? What was he doing here?

When he came out, I saw his face transform. He was furious.

"Jacob what's wrong?" I asked in a panic.

He looked at me and then to Seth and without any warning punched Seth's nose.

"Fuck!" I heard Seth while letting me go to hold his face. "Jake man, what was that for?" Seth looked at Jacob again.

His face was hard as stone, his eyes almost popping from the orbits and all of his body was tense, animalistic assuming position for fight, ready to kill.

I stepped forward getting between the two of them and put one hand on Jacob's chest.

He immediately grabbed my hand and twisted my arm making me turn my back to him.

I screamed in pain while Seth took a step forward to come to my rescue.

"Jacob, let her go!" Seth shouted.

"No! She's mine!" Jacob voice was somehow different as if possessed by a demon or something.

When I got full knowledge of what he just said I tried to turn to him but my arm was being secured tightly.

"Jacob, please. Let me go. You're hurting me." I tried to control my voice not showing how frightened I actually was.

"No. If I let you go you'll go to him again" he said pointing to Seth.

"Jacob, what the hell you talking about? Let me go! You're hurting me!" I raised my voice while Seth was still waiting for the moment to help me without getting me hurt.

"Mr. Black, leave Bella immediately." I heard Felix's voice behind us I took a deep breathe. Good. Help.

"No. I won't let her go. _Ever_. She's mine. Only mine." Jacob said with a crazy voice like before. _Evil tone like a demon or something._

"Mr. Black" I heard the footsteps behind us slowly "Jacob, let her go. You are hurting her I know you don't want to hurt her. Right Jacob?"

Jacob loosened a bit his grip on my arm but was still holding me. I choose not to push my luck by trying to get loose that instant, although all mye senses screamed for me to run.

Seth remained still, waiting for a reaction and I couldn't hear footsteps behind me so I assumed Felix was doing the same.

Then all of a sudden chaos exploded; as I saw Seth come to grab me I heard a squeal form Jacob then a gun shot up to the air.

Seth tried to grab me but we both fell on the grass, me trying to protect my belly and Seth with the same reaction pulled my torso to his while we fell.

I heard all the air Seth had in his lungs come out with the fall, as I heard Jacob behind us screaming like a crazy mad man. "Let go of her, she's mine. Let go you fake excuse for a man." "Let her go"

As I heard Jacob I asked myself where all of that came… the boy I know and cared about would never do anything like this. Hit Seth? Grab me as he did? Hurt me on purpose? No. I didn't know this guy at all.

Still lying on the grass, Seth asked, "Bella, are you ok?" I looked back to my friend and nodded. Then I sobbed, letting tears go down while he made his best to comfort me in that odd position.

In front of us, was a rage Jacob, been held by Felix and Demetri fighting to let his himself free from their grip, never leaving his eyes from Seth and I with a deadly look in them

"You Bella, You. " he shouted whilst pointing at me while the guards dragged him from out of our sight.

Alec, the chief of security guards came towards us and taking my hand asked

"Are you two ok?"

While I stood up tears falling down my face uncontrollably, Seth stood up too and hugged me with one hand, handshaking Alec's loose hand murmuring thanks repeatedly. Odd thing was that now Alec had his both hands holding ours and that scenario made me laugh. Not a healthy laugh but more a hysterical one, as if that was the most funny thing in the world.

Seth left Alec's hand and pushed my chin up making me face him. My other hand was released too.

"Bella, babe, its ok. Its over. Please. Stop."

I couldn't stop laughing even if inside I knew nothing of that was funny.

"She's in shock, we should take her to the nurse" I heard Alec's concerned voice and tried to calm down.

Still giggling I tried to make myself hear "I'm ok. I'm not in shock I think. It was just too much. I think I just need to rest."

Alec seemed to agree with that and asked Seth to take me back to my room. Not that boys where allowed in Girls dorm, but Seth was different and many times over the past weeks he had been in my room.

Since Edward … left.

I tried to fight the memories. Too much drama and stress for the baby couldn't be good.

Which reminded me I had to make an appointment at my family doctor as soon as I got to Blue Island.

While Seth guided me towards the stairs still holding me by my waist I had to ask

"Seth, what was that all about? Can you tell me?"

Seth looked compromised and worried so for his sake to reassure I was ok I squeezed his arm

"Or you tell me what you know or I'll tickle you until you do" then went to his upper arm ticking him.

He didn't even smile but eased the look on his face

"Bella, we, me and the girls have been worried about that Jacob guy around you. In front of you he reacts one way, but when you're not around he ignores us or even mistreats us"

This was news to me. I knew my friends didn't approve of my friendship with Jacob, but always though it was a jealousy thing. So I had to ask "Why Seth?"

"Bella, the guy is obsessed with you. After that night…your birthday night he started acting different. He makes you believe he's all smiles and sweet but he is a bad ass really"

My birthday…the bite…the letter. I've forgot all that the past days I spent with him, after that night walk to post office.

We had admittedly beenadmittedly been spending a lot of time together these last few days and as I started to put the information Seth just shared together, I felt like a stupid blind fool.

He approached me, he wanted to marry me if my parents got angry, heand he said that as a friend he would help me, but in fact what he was trying to do was force me to be with him.

Oh God! How blind have I been!

Alice warned me, Seth, Jasper… I didn't listen.

Thank god all of this happened before I did something stupid…like marrying him or something.

**Thanks for reading **


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **

**I own nothing as you all know.**

**I'm on vacations now and have bad bad service so reply to reviews will be even harder to do.**

**Thanks to my beta and friend Pixiebella88, for everything.**

**Thanks for all the great reviews and for all of those anonymous readers that keep this story on their favorites and on alert.**

**For all of you a big thank you for sticking with me and this story.**

**Now let's dive on a shitty dark ocean… I love all my characters but this one… **

**JPOV**

Sitting in this small office, alone, I started to feel a bit claustrophobic. I always hated closed places and the feeling of being locked in with no way out makes all my nerves go on edge.

I know I fucked up out there when I saw Seth kissing and holding Bella I just… flipped.

All I could see was a man that wasn't me, holding my woman, even if the guy is gay, it angered me. I forgot who he was and when my fist connected with his nose it felt less then he deserved but I felt better. No one would be putting their hands on _my_ Bella.

After these past days that I've been holding her hand, letting her know I'm here for her if her parents give her a bad time about the bastard baby, we were finally getting somewhere!

I told her over and over again I was going to marry her to make things good and that we could stay at her parents while the baby is small then go live in Black island.

I would keep on at school but she should stay at her parents after Christmas.

I told her I would visit on Easter break and that all would be ok.

I saw in her face the sadness of having a baby without his father around and it always seemed like she wanted him to be with her like she was in love with him. I even asked her yesterday if she still had feelings for the baby's father and when she answered "I will always love him" I choked.

How on earth did she love him? She did tell me over and over she didn't love James, when did that change? When I asked her, she answered that James wasn't the father and I went blind.

All the rage doubled in my head and heart. The image of someone else touching her, a stranger. I didn't ask who it was. I didn't want to know because if I knew I sure as hell would look for him and beat the crap of him. Maybe kill him with my own hands.

I didn't ask any more questions about the who's or how's. I knew it was that week I was ill with that food poison thing and Lauren was to blame for this as sure as I'm Jacob Black!

She will have her own payment later. Now I just need to solve this problem and get out of this stupid office that seems like a prison cell.

When Felix brought me in he told me to chill while he would check on Seth and his boss. Then locked me in here!.

Seth… why did I lose it with him? I've saw him before kissing Bella and it's like seeing two girls kissing nothing much, but with all that Bella told me about the baby's father all men are potential enemies.

Even Felix or Dimetri, or their boss that Alec guy that held her hand while I was dragged in here.

I'm getting a little crazy on this. She never told me she loved me only cares for me, but I will do my best to get to her and make her love me. She needs me.

I'm the father of her baby, the only man that is around to keep her and the baby safe. She needs me with her and she will forgive me and understand my jealousy when I tell her that I was jealous of Seth.

That should do it. She will forgive me and my plan will go on as planned.

I'm leaving tomorrow to go to Blue Island with her. She doesn't know this yet but I'm on the same plane and I will go to her parents' house and assume the baby as mine.

Then I'll have to make her stay with her parents until the baby is born. Its not good for her and the baby taking so many trips between islands. Easter break is in three months and by then she shouldn't be flying. The end of school is two months later. I can't imagine a woman wanting to travel with a big belly almost before her baby is born.

What I can't figure is why no one thinks like I do. They all think she should finish school and if needed have the baby on green island and stay with those lesbie girls Angela and Jessica.

I don't give a damn what they do between them, hell it even turns me on imagining what the two of them can do together but they keep their hands off of my Bella.

No way… she can't be delivering that baby on this island. The baby needs to be protected by her family and me beside her.

As soon as I know she has gone into labor, I'll take the first flight back to her and be right at her side when our baby is born. Then I'll get a job for a month or two after the trainingship on the garage I've applied in Blue Island. I'll even try my best to stay there.

It's a garage that supports the sales office for Volvo and I hope they keep me on for a few months. Just until the baby is big enough so we can go back to Black Island.

I have it all planned out in my head. After the trainingship I'll talk to the owner to be his delegate on Black Island, that way I'll have the brand support and can make my own garage and sale's office almost without any effort.

Our little house in Black Island will be next to the garage, I even asked my father if the building next to our house was still for sale. All is gonna be just perfect… If I control my temper.

First things, first. I don't have the time to go downtown and show Lauren how mad I am at her for poisoning me that week. Tomorrow we have to leave early to catch the plane.

As I always do when travelling between islands I'll go first to Blue Island stay a day or two at my cousin's house and then take the smaller plane to Black Island.

So no one will think is awkward that I take the same flight with Bella. Then when I get to the airport I'll introduce myself to her parents, be polite and she is she won't say a thing.

I told my father I wasn't sure if I was spending the Christmas with him, as they said a storm was compromising flights to Black Island. At least this part is true.

He was sad to know he was gonna be all alone this year but he has his friends so I hope he has a good one.

Then on Christmas day my sisters spend hours and hours on phone with him so he won't miss me at all.

I even told him that after school I have a surprise for him and told him about my project to open a represented Volvo garage in Black Island, next to his business.

As he knows we don't have the money for it his thoughts went straight there so I assured him I'd work it out staying on Blue Island for a few months to make it good.

My father was so happy to know I had so many plans to keep leaving with him that the sadness of spending the holidays alone almost vanished.

So here I am, waiting for someone to take me out so I can pack. Hell, I have an early flight and still have lost to do.

As if I had called, Alec came in and tried my best not to show how I wanted to punch him in the nose too.

He looked at me with that hard face that he always tries to do. He can't be much older than me. He looks like a kid, with that baby face, but I have to control my words around here. He has the power to kick me off immediately if he thinks I'm a threat.

"Mr. Black." He looked to the report file and then to me "You now that violence is not permitted in this school right?"

I nod with the most compromised face I could put on. Sometimes a man has to swallow his pride to get to his goal.

"So, you know only this could get you off the school grounds without second charges don't you?"

I nod again biting my tongue to keep me from saying the wrong things.

"OK, I don't your act Jacob so cut it off." He said with a rough voice and putting both hands on top of the table between us

_Ok, now…Jacob Black your move. Play innocent or the protective guy… which one is better for now?_

"I'm sorry Alec. I saw a man kissing Bella and holding her and didn't take the time to look at him and went for it"

_Let's try this._

"Jacob, from the reports I have you knew it was Seth and still you hit him. You know he's Bella's friend…"

_Ok that didn't work…let me try another._

"I wasn't seeing straight, You know Bella is having a bad time with the pregnancy and the absent father…I just didn't want to anyone taking advantage of her."

He looked at me and I knew he didn't buy that either, so I put my head in my hands and went for sincerity… or my version of it.

"Alec, I love that girl. Every man that touches her makes me wanna punch him, but you don't see me fist on guard with everyone. It was dark, I did a bad move and I'm sorry for it, but I can't change my feelings for her. I feel I need to protect her all the time."

Minutes past, and I could only hear papers being moved around and some writing. I kept my head down, not because I was that sorry but because I knew it would look like so.

I'm still not sorry for punching Seth, but for being caught for doing it and while Bella was around.

"So Jacob…" Alec started with a deep voice that made me think I was screwed "Tomorrow is your trip home. I know you had a direct trip to Blue Island but we have managed to arrange for you to go from here with other passengers directly to Black Island and I hope you keep it that way"

Now my head was really down, I needed to control myself before I punch this guy and ruin everything. I could feel the anger rising and I hold on to the table before I did something really stupid.

"And I've requested a new ticket back so you come back directly to Green Island with no stops. This way and if Seth doesn't present charges against you all will be good."

I was still pissed as hell but at least I was having a chance…hell, if that fag presents charges I'll kill him! Raising my head, trying to look as sorry as I could I avoid Alec's eyes.

"Thank you Alec. I'm really sorry and I promise it won't happen again."

"Jacob, although Seth didn't present charges this is gonna be on your intern record, so if you ever do anything out of order again I'll count it as a second time and out you go. You got that?" He raised his voice I knew that it was only to make a point but still didn't like it.

"Yes Alec, I get it. I'll keep my hands in my pockets I promise."

"Ok, now go and have a nice Christmas with your family and safe trip home. See ya in January!" He said with a joyful tone of voice.

"Thanks Alec, likewise. Hope you have great holidays too."

Although I didn't mean that at all I thought that being polite was the best I could do.

Heading out, I realized it was even colder now, and the night was dark.

It was so dark even I was frightened, maybe that storm was coming sooner after all and with my luck I would be stuck in this island for Christmas.

The trips directly to Black Island only travel once a week but if any kind of heavy storm is around they cancel the trip.

Living in small islands suck!

Living in islands sucks!

Well, at least I can walk free for now and remember next time not to lose temper in front of any witnesses.

I had to at least send a text to Bella, so while I was going up the stairs I wrote

"Bella, I'm sorry for tonight. Hope you have a safe trip home. See ya when we came back. Merry Christmas and remember always that " _Ok, now what to I write? Love her Or be here for her? _"I'm always here for you"

After I hit send I felt better. Maybe these days away would cool things and after all she may even need me when we came back.

Opening the door to my room I let my body fall on the bed, without taking my clothes out and kicking my sneakers to the floor.

The evening was really bad but at least I was in bed again, and tomorrow was another day.

**THANKS FOR READING!**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: HELLO EVERYONE!**

**Thanks for staying around. My vacations where great, thanks for all of you that asked, but I missed you all and writing, but time wouldn't let me do all that I wanted. Never seems enough right?**

**My brain however went to great places while I was in the islands and I have another story to come out soon.**

**This one will be my first baby always but that other one is tingling on my brain, so let's see if I can keep it up with both.**

**Thanks to my Beta, my solmigatudo that makes my simple words shine so much that it becomes a masterpiece, which I know the story and the readers deserve.**

**Hope you enjoy**

APOV

Being alone on the mainland wasn't something I was used too, so it gave me a strange sense of freedom. It was as if I had left little Alice behind and here I was a grown up, all on my own ready to embark on a new chapter of my life. Weird feeling for this 19 year old girl!

After checking into the little room I rented for four days I unpacked a little then I went out to explore the mainland. All that movement of people walking and rushing about was daunting, my Island is so more laid back than this.

I thought it was a good idea to head straight for the college to familiarize myself with the place, being late tomorrow would not help my chances in the slightest.

As I headed to the main office for students, I must have had that look of a deer caught in headlights as a very nice boy told me that the interviews were being held at another building and offered to take me there. Amazed by my surroundings I didn't even get his name.

"Alice isn't it, how's life in the islands_?"_ He asked politely

"Well, it's calmer than here I can assure you. We have all of the stress, hustle and bustle but in small portions fortunately "I smiled still wishing I got his name "it's like living in a peaceful heaven where the weather commands our life most of the time. We live our life the same way as you do most of the time but we can never be sure if we are going to have dress for winter or summer due to the elements" ok weird thing to say on a conversation about the islands but it's true.

"It's seems boring. Do you guys have any fun at all?" He asked with a despised tone.

"Fun? We have lots of fun! Oh you misunderstood me. I love my island. I have great friends a great family and I love my boy. We go to dances and discos to parties and sometimes as I suppose you do, we go to cinema ".

"So you have a boyfriend?" he sadly asked and I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips.

"Yes, his name is Jasper and he's the love of my life" I said proudly

"How can you be that sure you're so young?" I could sense the doubt on his tone.

"I know it. It's like it's written. Somewhere someone wrote we will be together for always."

He didn't reply to that just proceeded to open the door to the building I would be attending the interview.

Inside all was calm. There was no noise of students going about their daily business, but this was Christmas vacations so I guess that would be normal, but still I had to ask.

"So no one stays around during holidays?"

He looked at me like I was a lunatic. "Of course not! I'm only here because it's my job to stay around for winter interviews. It helps with my grades and the extra money helps."

Curious I asked "So you're not from around here then?"

"No , I live in a small village inland near the frontier and I only get to spend Christmas Eve at home and I come back on the 26th . My parents aren't that rich and I have a scholar ship so…"

"Hey, that's not a bad thing… I bet your parents must be very proud of you."

He smiled and I knew that somehow I had gained an allied on my first day

After knocking on the door a voice told us to go in and my nerves went crazy.

"I'm not having the interview now am i? I mean… I'm not dressed right.. I'm not ready." I was starting to ramble.

"Relax Alice, I'm just going to introduce you to doctor Riley."

As we went in my nerves shook my whole body and I felt like a teenager as I heard my guide direct himself to an empty room "Doc. Riley? Can we come in?"

Ok this was a bit strange, who was this doc? The Invisible man? The appearing suddenly from behind a hidden door with no lock attached appeared a young handsome man with long hair and dressed with jeans and a t-shirt.

"Hey Jonny boy! Come on in" he said in cheerful tone

He then turned his head looked at me with curiosity and asked "And who is this beautiful young lady?"

I blushed and felt like a teenager _again_. Time to woman up and introduce myself properly. Sticking my hand out for a handshake I started to speak, praying the words would come out properly "Good afternoon Doctor Riley, my name is Alice and I'm here for a winter interview for … "

He took my hand and grabbed me to a hug, then kissed both of my cheeks and I was left speechless. Do teachers always do that around here?

"Of Course you are Alice! The marvelous student from my island! The girl that has great grades but still didn't get in…" he's tone showed a bit of sadness and displease but still a kind of happiness laced it which overwhelmed me.

"You know, when I saw your application I told my colleagues I wanted you here there and then but then some bureaucrat came in with his _mainlander first _and _island vacancies are full _that I had to submit to they're wish. But since we had one student that left the class I have been telling them to let you in."

All this was too much to my ears me that I had to sit afraid I would fall. I haven't had the interview yet but the way he was talking I was sure I got in the second he stopped talking. How fortune of me that the man that was in charge of my interview was from my island! And for what I could see we was anxious to let me in.

Maybe noticing my surprise Johnny gently held my back with one hand while pulling a chair behind me.

I looked at him hoping that my eyes would thank him the way my mouth wouldn't.

"So Alice, tomorrow you will have your interview just to fill in the necessary paper work but you my little treasure are in."

Still paralyzed I looked up to Doc Riley as if I had found the Master of Universe himself and just wanted to jump and hug the guy like he did to me moments before. Knowing that wouldn't be a proper thing to do I swallowed a few times and took a deep breath.

"Thank you Doctor Riley. You can't imagine how happy I am!" I tried to hold my emotions back a bit because all I wanted was to jump and dance around the room.

"Really Alice? You don't seem that enthusiastic." He smiled at me and gave Johnny a wink "Maybe I should think twice about my opinion"

Although that caught me and I Almost fell for it, I had to laugh instead. "Doctor Riley you don't expect me to do all that I want to do right now, like jump, dance and scream my lungs out, do you?"

Both men laugh as Doctor Riley came to me and took my hands. "You know Alice, that kind of reaction is acceptable so you could do that"

Just to make my point I took my hands from his getting got up on the chair jumped in the air and grabbing my hair like a maniac screamed my lungs out "YYYYEEEEEESSSSS! I MADE IT!"

Both man laughed, while I settled down and after breathing deep I looked over to Doctor Riley still thinking I was dreaming.

"Alice, what do you say we leave this school now? I have a patient to visit at the hospital and I would like you to come with me. I usually take students there, its part on my contract. It's kind of an extension of school."

I was petrified… me? Already accepted at this great college and going to a hospital with a teacher? A dream came true…

"Doctor Riley I would be grateful and pleased to go with you. Thank you very much."

"Alice, before we go I just need to pick up some notes and I'll meet you out in the lobby ok?" then looking at Johnny he asked "Could you show her back please Johnny?"

"Sure Doc. I'll escort this beautiful little lady so she doesn't get lost." He winked at me and I was sure I had to be careful with this one..

"Good Johnny, I'll see you two in a few."

Without another word he turned to the closed wall and shoved the door aside, then closed it even before I got a glance of the room.

"That's his private office, only he gets in there. As he brings to school some clinic files from the hospital that room is for his eyes only" Johnny asked the undone question maybe figuring out my thoughts by the way I looked at the now unidentified door.

"He's so young but has already so much reputation I assume, to have this kind of privileges." I throw out waiting that Johnny would catch the question I wasn't asking.

"Yes, he was always a good student and after he finished had a chance to work with a great physc at the military hospital. That's how he got to work in both military and civil hospitals at the same time.

"He works at two hospitals and teaches? Jeez, has the man no life?" I asked shocked thinking I couldn't live like that.

"Well, word out is that his fiancé fell for another guy and left him after he finished school but I never heard him talk about it"

Now I was way curious but since I wasn't gonna ask any of this to Doctor Riley himself I cut the conversation in sign of respect. If he had such a thing like that in his past, it was his business and not mine. I had enough on mind and my friend's life to take care of. This though reminded me that Carlisle was in the military hospital and maybe with luck instead on seeing him in two days I would surprise Esme today.

"Johnny, do you know which hospital is he taking me?"

"Have no clue. He can take students to both hospitals without any notice and I don't know which one he's planning to take you"

Secretly I hoped he'd take me to Military hospital do I could surprise Esme, this if I was allowed to go in to Carlisle's room.

I realized again that this was really a gold opportunity and I was glad I was accepted. This was gonna be a good experience for me all the way.

My phone rang and excusing myself looking to Johnny I took the call.

"Hey Babe, what's up? How's a thing on the mainland?"

Jasper's voice tingled in my ear and was the cherry on the top of the cake for that moment.

"Love, you'll never believe what just happened…."

**THANKS FOR READING!**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN/ As you all know I own nothing.**

**And I may say that the job around my story is sometimes a hard task for my Beta because with all my doubts about writing she has to handle this and her own stories.**

**Thanks to those friends that I love out there, I'm still on writing, so the other story is still going on. Caroline, Karen, PJ, Gail, Clare and the big Pixielee, thanks. You guys are great friends.**

**I'm sorry if I'm not publishing on a Saturday but RL sucks sometimes, right?**

**So this chapter is dedicated to all my friends that one way or another made me feel great about writing because writing fic is for us, like a genius said.**

**Ok let's dive in this ocean…..**

?POV

As the days slowly crept by I came to realize two things: First I was amnesic and second I have been seriously burned in an accident.

What puzzled me was that I had managed to come to this conclusion myself, so where was my family, had they suffered in the accident? Where were my friends? If I had any to begin with.

From what I could make out, someone brought me here and left me at the door. Gauged by meds and the tube that helps or makes me breathe I can't ask questions, but what would I ask? If no one knows I'm here or even looking for me. Of course all sort of things went through my mind such as gang fight, drugs, outlaw stuff that could justify that hit and run thing.

Now that gradually my knowledge was coming back I realize that I was smart. Maybe even a good student. I still wonder how much my IQ was but definitely smart.

My friend Vicky_, if we can call a friend a nurse that is paid to stay with me day in day out by the navy as I recently found out_, is reading a book at the window. In the afternoon they take the pads that protect my eyes so I can slowly try to see again. I'm still unable to talk, so I communicate through blinking. It appears that after a lot of surgeries the past weeks, months or years I don't know how long I have been here, I'm what they call a "Recovering Patient" and not a soon to die one.

It seems my lower regions aren't healing as expected and I'll need more time to regenerate new skin to be transplanted. Curious thing that, I can recall a program I saw about burn victims ,they gave baths to the victims but I can't recall having a bath in so long… maybe they have been treating me while I'm sedated. I never feel pain so I suppose my body will be almost the same, but I'm not naïve and know that part of me will look horrible. From what I can tell my back is the other large area affected. All together the area covered was 80% but I can't seem to understand the math on that. Should've paid more attention to that show…

My mind is now starting to pick up pieces and fragments of things, mostly when I'm sleeping. A little boy kicking me, a big man pushing my head, a woman cleaning up a cut I have in my knee. All this makes me think they are my family, but when I wake up I try to go to that part of my brain a huge headache comes on and I have to stop thinking. I've learned that my brain is connected to a reader that signs when I have too much brain activity or when I'm not comfortable. That's when Vicky starts talking to me and trying to calm me so all goes back to normal.

When I think about my beauty, the face that now has a body to connect too, the machines go that erratic that they alert the doctor's attention. So I try to avoid thinking about her during the day. During the night my mind is the boss around here so I can't avoid a thing.

Someone else has started to occupy my dreams, a beautiful cute little thing, she is always pinching my arm and always appears a little gazed she reminds me of Tinker Bell from Peter Pan. I wonder if she is my Sister?

I never actually hear names or sounds. Just fragments of things but at the end of my dreams I always see my beauty smiling at me. Then I am abruptly woken by Vicky.. Sometimes I wish she wasn't here but she does make me feel … good. Makes me feel like a living person not an invalid that can't talk eat or think for himself.

The day will come when I'm fit enough to leave this hospital but Vicky will always have a special place in my heart. As she is the only person that really took care of me.

I close my eyes, trying to rest my brain a bit. The weird thing is and it may be because it's the only thing that's alive, it works harder and makes my whole body feel tired.

Laughs and giggles come from behind the door but I keep my eyes shut.

I'm used to Doc Riley coming and going, it's as if I am some kind of prize he shares with people… yes I am acting like a child!

After Vicky, Riley is the only other person I can identify by sound of his footsteps and voice, he is always genuinely kind. The young doctor is always so enthusiastic about my recovery that he is like a child on Christmas morning… yes I remember Christmas too… the tree, presents and the feeling of joy and surprise before I find out what's the gift.

When he has time he sits with me and he talks to me about the island he grew up on and the beauty of it and that makes me feel good. It's a place I know also but can't picture a thing about it.

I hear him whispering to Vicky asking about my status, I realize there's someone else around. I open my eyes and both the doc and the giggling girl are facing Vicky so I can only get their backs.

My brain starts to tickle when I hear that giggle. I want to ask the giggler to look at me … It seems that my brain registers who she is even if I don't.

Suddenly the little girl turns around to face me and I realize I know her! As I try to look into my brain for a name for that face, the pain in my head gets even worse its like the puzzle I'm trying to figure out is sending all my circuits into electric shocks.

Who is she? How do I recognize her? Is she connected to the girl in my dreams...

As the woman looks at me I hear her say a name, she mumbles another name with a look of shock covering her face, as she places both hands over her mouth she faints.

Fortunately Doc Riley catches her before she collapses onto the floor. He sits her in the chair next to my bed, talking to her to bring her round. Vicky calls a nurse to come and look over this little woman.

I hear them discuss how they think that the vision of a seriously injured patient made her faint and that they are concerned how I will react as I witnesses her fall. I try to talk but that stupid tube in my throat restricts me …I try to make them look at me groaning but they understand it like I'm in pain or in shock myself.

I want to scream _NO! Don't make her leave, she knows me! I know her! _ But I can't. Vicky comes to me putting some more sedatives through my IV as the machines around me started buzzing all around.

When the sedatives start kicking in I see Doc Riley and Miranda, another nurse, take the woman out of my room. As she leaves in her unconscious state, I still hear the names she spoke before she collapsed…

_Edward…Bella_

**I'll hide for a while….. Thanks for reading**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN- I own nothing as you all know.**

**Many thanks to my Beta that even with a busy life and her own….GREAT story still handles to make my work shine.**

**To my faithful readers, thanks times 100. If it wasn't for you guys this story wouldn't have the love it deserves , my first baby …**

**Oh and Buttonsboo, its not Saturday or Monday at least not in Portugal, so what you think about that ? ;)**

**So anyone wants to dive?...**

**Ready? Go!**

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**APOV**

As I fought the dizziness that was consuming my head, I was aware of the voices of Doc Riley and Nurse Victoria, they were whispering at how shocked I was, seeing the patient and how that wasn't a good start for a medical student. I tried hard to command my body to wake up and tell them that is wasn't the patient's status that made me faint but the fact I knew the patient!

Edward was alive! Bella had been right all along. How she knew would always be a mystery but she knew it all along. Edward was alive! But why didn't we know? Why didn't Esme know or Jessica's parents? Why hadn't the hospital contacted anyone? I had so many questions and my stupid ass lying on this chair was not obeying my command to move!

Talking to my inner self I told myself nice and gently that all was ok, the shock was over, now it was time to get up and share the news, find out what was wrong with Edward… As my body slowly came to back life I opened my eyes, as I made a move to get up in what felt like a jump, but then my head spun again and strong arms caught me before I hit the floor again.

"Alice, calm down. You had a shock you have to take it slowly. It's all ok. You're with me and Victoria" I heard Doc Riley state in a calm and relaxed tone.

If I rushed again getting up I would never get things on track again and would probably be in this state of dizziness much longer. Staying still on the chair, I opened my eyes to see a worried Doc Riley and behind him Nurse Victoria.

"I'm ok. It was a shock ….seeing him…."

"Ok Alice I know he isn't in a good shape and I'm sorry for bringing in to see him on your first visit to hospital." The concerned voice came to me and I knew I had to explain it all soon before I ruined everything, or before he even decide to end the visit.

Gathering all my strength I had from the love for Bella and Jasper, my wish of a medical future and the opportunity to study on the mainland I rushed all the words at once.

"Doc. Riley, I'm in shock not because of the way he looks… well it is a bit of that too… but I'm in shock because for the past months we thought… well Bella didn't… that he was dead!

But now I've seen him with my own eyes! He's not dead he's alive! Edward is alive and I can't wait to tell everyone about it, Bella needs to come right away, we need to tell Esme and the docs in the army hospital so they can start to wake Carlise up from his comma so he can get back. He's alive, all is going to be ok" I ended my speech with a big breath to catch up and go on again but Doc Riley made that movement with his finger in front my lips to shut me up.

Looking at Doc Riley and Victoria I realized that maybe I sounded like a crazy woman talking like this in one breath and I felt like one, my head was spinning, but not because of the dizziness but all the things that my discovery had done.

"Alice" Doc Riley started slowly with the calmest voice I've ever heard" " Alice please calm down. You need to calm down. Tell us what you meant with all that. But this time speak slowly or else I'll have to give you some tranquilizers."

Taking a deep breath, I organized the info in my head and slowly started to speak, trying not to seem like a lunatic this time but an organized mental woman.

"Your patients name is Edward Cullen. He was in an accident with his parents and grandparents three months ago when they were on their way to see Carlisle, Edward's brother who is in a coma in the navy hospital, after a motorcycle accident at the Championship."

The sudden light in their faces made me happy. It seemed that I was doing a good job so I went on.

"Everyone was killed in that accident, or so we all thought. The navy never confirmed Edward's death because all the bodies are still being analyzed."

Doc Riley nodded his head like he knew exactly what I was talking about and with that I got the courage to go the worse part, when feelings get in the convo…

"Since Carlisle was already in coma the doctors keep him that way so he wouldn't collapse knowing about all the death in the family." I saw acknowledgement in doc Riley's face but he didn't interrupt me. "So he's in an induced coma and Esme, his girlfriend that me and my friends started to talk on the phone, was the only link we had, and A father's friend also helped out searching for Edward on hospitals and …morgues. Well, all this because Edward used to go to technical school in Green Island with us and he is my best friend's boyfriend and she is pregnant, although he doesn't know yet. So that's how I know your patient. My shock was because I thought he was dead and not because I looked at a patient."

Doc Riley and Victoria were speechless by the time I finished. They hugged each other and then Doc Riley hugged me.

"Alice you can't imagine how this makes us happy! These past months we have looked around all over the place to find a connection to John…I mean Edward's life." The correction of the name and hearing it from his lips made something inside me jump, as if only now I understood the entire situation.

"You mean you didn't know who he was? He didn't tell you?" I asked hoping for a quick response.

Victoria was the one that started to talk while Doc Riley got up and went to his desk and picked up the phone.

"Alice, Jo…I mean Edward was brought in by a stranger. We don't know who brought him in and we never knew who he really was. Edward is amnesic and can't remember a thing about his life. Also he was seriously burnt with the accident and he has been sedated most of the time what can't help a lot the recuperation of his memory. As his body started to heal we started simple things like asking if he knew where his parents were, asking him to blink and the answer was always three blinks, which means don't know. One for Yes, two for No and three of don't know. It's the way we talk to him because for now we can't remove the tube from his mouth. He can't breathe for himself yet, although he is getting much better each day."

Tears came down my face while she talked and I only noticed when she caught one on my cheek, smiling nicely. "Alice, don't worry, he's getting better each day. The baths and transplants are doing a great job on the outside and his lungs are getting better stronger and we think that in a few days we can take the tube out. Now with this new situation that we know who he is, we can help his mind and the body will follow"

Putting this together was like a puzzle. No wonder we didn't know about him. If he had no close family and he was amnesic he couldn't tell the doctors who he was and let the friends now either.

Something was still bothering me. How come Jessica's father didn't find him? Even being amnesic he had been in a car accident nearby and this hospital should give some answers.

As my mind thought about that my ears listened to Doc Riley at the phone.

"Yes Chief, its right. Edward Cullen is alive and here in the hospital with me. He was identified by a friend…long story that I'll tell you later…. Yes… Yes Sir… Will do Sir… ok…See you later"

After he hung up, I looked at him curiously and he didn't avoid my stare, directing himself to me.

"Alice, I'm Carlisle's assistant doctor also and my chief at the navy hospital was with whom I was talking. These last months have been horrible for us, knowing that Carlisle would have to wake up with such bad news. Even with Esme near him day in day out, it seemed unfair that he had lost his all family too that accident. A new mystery came up then because the last two weeks the navy started paying for Edward's treatment. We tried to find out what that meant but never got any answer. My chief even went to some friend inside the navy to find out what was up with the payments but all he found out that John, or Edward was related to the accident somehow that had killed , now we know, his parents and the navy paid to find more things out about the accident after his recovery".

Oh god! So many things! My head was spinning again and I thank the doc that I was still in the chair.

"Doc Riley please. I need to let everyone know about this. Can I call them?"

Doc Riley thought for a moment and smiling he said with a sad voice.

"I understand you want to let everyone know but for now it's more important that Edward finds out first. We need to take it slowly. If you tell everyone that knows him and they try to contact him it won't be good for him. We need to go slowly with this."

Wishing I could scream it to the world like yesterday when I found out about the vacancy in the school I made my last request.

"Please doc. Let me please share this with Jasper. We've been worried sick about Bella and the baby because she always sensed Edward was alive. We even thought about taking her to a doctor because of that kind of obsession of not accepting his death. Let me please tell him. I promise he'll keep it a secret."

Doc Riley looked at me with a little confusion in his face.

"She knew? How? If you all knew and were sure…"

"Doc, I really can't explain because I never understood it. She always said he wasn't dead. Today she's going home for Christmas vacations and she's telling her parents she pregnant. They don't know yet. If I get to tell only Jasper, at least I can make him delay thatt news to them. At least if you let me tell Jasper and he tells Bella, she can tell her parents all the facts."

All so simple now… I just wished Doc Riley thought the same.

"Ok Alice, let's try this. You'll call your Jasper and he can tell Bella, as that will not be such a surprise for her anyway. Love connects people in a strange way it seems, but I'd prefer you get some medical assistance for her when he tells her. Maybe, her family doctor?"

"That's perfect Doctor Riley! She already has an appointment for tomorrow with her doctor because of the baby. I can ask Jasper to go also and tell the doctor all before he tells her!"

I couldn't contain my excitement, all the pieces where joining together perfectly! But suddenly I remind myself about the others, Jessica, Seth, Angela and Esme! She had to know!

"Doc. Esme has the right to know also. I mean all our friends should but I understand your point of view, but Esme is his brother's girlfriend. The closest he has to a family…well if we forget Jessica…"

"Alice, slow down. First things first. Edward is the most important person right now. Calm down. I'll take care of Esme and Carlisle. She is a great girl and if I tell her to keep it down she will."

I blushed. Off course Edward was the most important thing now. Everyone else had to wait…

"I'm sorry Doctor Riley I'm just so excited and happy that I tend to forget the medical aspects of this situation."

He smiled gently "Alice you're not a doctor yet, nothing to be ashamed of letting feelings get in front of practical medical matters. Even I was happy and called my chief as soon as you told us. But let's go slowly, ok? Now, go call your boyfriend and tell him what we have planned. Ok?"

Jumping off the chair I grabbed the phone on the desk and started dialing Jaspers number.

"Alice…." I heard doc Riley say before he disconnected the call. "Please do it outside, I have some calls to make myself to get all this working and I bet your cell is the best option so you can go around and around with your call."

Sure, stupid Alice, I can't make the call form here…hiding my blush with my hands on my hot cheeks I face him receiving two smiley faces looking at me.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. You must think I'm such a kid. I hope this doesn't interfere with my acceptance…"

"Alice, let's get something straight. Your reactions where all normal and when you needed to show cold speech you did it. I'm glad I'll have you around for a few years, but if you think I want to hear your conversation with your boyfriend you must have something wrong…" he said in a joke tone and I found the man so perfect at that moment that I wanted to hug him….but thankfully I only did it in my mind.

"You are right Doc Riley. I'll go out, some place outside that won't interrupt your work and make that call. I'm sure it's going to be a long one." _Like every call I make to Jasper,_ but I kept that for me.

"Ok Alice, now go. We have some arrangements to do around here. After your call you can come back because I won't be leaving without you…but don't worry I'm going to be here for at least one hour. You think that is enough?" he said with an evil smirk.

Blushing again I had the feeling I had to be very careful with this man…he was very seductive…

"Yes Doctor Riley. I'll be here in one hour" I smiled back and waved goodbye to him and Victoria

As I literally run to the dressing room where I had my purse I undressed the pink clothe that was given to me in a rush and leaving the thing on the hook I took out my phone breathing first before I phone Jasper.

As he answered I didn't give him time to say anything as I yield.

"Babe you won't believe it! Edward is alive!"

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**Everyone happy? I am ! Thanks for reading!**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Many thanks to my Beta over and over again. Pix u rock!**

**One more week, one more chapter and thanks to my dear readers that keep faithful to this story. **

**If i didnt reply to your reviews i'm sorry, this week i was a bit busy...**

**Funny I don't have much to say this week…so enjoy**

**Dive in jasper's ocean…. Yummy**

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**Jasper POV**

As I hung up the phone my shock was obvious to for all to see.

I never take phone calls from Alice when I'm in company of others, I like to be alone when we get the chance to talk, so I excuse myself and leave the room. This time however I was at Rose's place she was playing with little Cris but still listening to my conversation I was sure.

Her face showed she got most of it, by the shocked way she looked at me, hell even little Cris was ping ponging between our faces with that innocent but smart look of his. That one that knows something is going on in the "grown up" world.

_Edward is alive… Alice found him… I have to tell Bella…tomorrow …when she goes to doctor._

"Jasper, do you want me to go with you two to the Doctor? Mom will take care of Cris." It seemed I'd said that loud or as my sister she just knew.

Little Cris anticipating the fun by staying with grandma, started to jump.

"Rose, I'm not really sure what I want now. I need to get my head to process this information. Alice said so much in such a short time my head is still spinning." I looked at my watch and saw that Alice and I talked for over an hour and a half, which finished only because she had to go with Doc Riley see Esme and Carlisle. That girl is sure having a great day…

"Ok, let me call mom and tell her she's having Cris tomorrow then me and you will go for a walk. God knows we need the fresh air…"

As she was finishing talking, Aro came in with that lazy walk, looking up to me as he always does not even making an effort to be polite.

"Rose, where do you think you are going?" he asked in a tone that my fists clench of their own accord, but I sealed my lips while looking at my nephew to keep my head from bad thoughts.

"I'm going for a walk with Cris and my brother Jasper… you do remember him don't you?" she replied with her "_Aro tone"_, which means, ice cold, sarcastic one. "The same one you forgot to say hi to."

Still looking up, although I was sitting and he was standing he nodded and I nodded back. No need for words when you don't have any nice ones to use, right?

"Rose, you are not going anywhere, you hear me?" that tone was making my inside scream, who did he think he was talking to my Sister in that tone!

"Aro, we are not fighting about this in front of _our_ _Son_. I am going for a walk because I want to and so does he, right little guy?" her tone went from angry to smooth when directed to little one.

"Cris, come to dad" he said and the poor child just hooked even more to his mother legs, as I did my best not to interfere.

"Aro, please" Rose said picking up Cris and standing up "let us go out. It will be good for all of us." Her patient voice covered a demand that I knew was to protect her son from watching anymore of this.

Suddenly in slow motion Aro's hand rose and smacked Rose in the face. In shock I saw my sister fall to the couch while little Cris started to scream encased in her arms.

All my body went forward as I jumped on Aro smacking his body to the ground.

My mind thought fast and before my fists connected with him I grabbed his wrists pinning them down whilst my body kept the rest of him down. Hitting him wouldn't be good for me or Cris, so I shouted to Rose. "Call the police NOW"

Still sitting in top of Aro I saw that coward's face of his get sweaty and pale.

"C'mon man, let me go. That was between me and Rose. No need to call the police." He said as he tried to get up.

To make sure the kid wasn't hearing any of this I looked over to see Rose at the phone over the other side of the room smoothing her son's hair, turning away from us.

"Don't you even think of moving you bastard! You'll never touch her again!" my voice was deep and serious as my head was still was in charge but all my whole body was screaming to smack the guy to death.

"Jasp, please man, let me up, I'll go and you guys can go out too. Please just let me get up" he was almost pleading.

"So this is what a coward looks like… hits his wife but can't stand if a man gets his hands on him" I growled at him.

Being honest, I was having a bit of fun. At least I said something to make my body better. The need to hit him was still there but fading. What was the point anyway? He was always a coward and I won't give him that taste, of charging me of assault. At least I could have the advantage of saying I just took him down to avoid him to hit my sister again or my nephew.

With my head now clear and without leaving the grip I had on Aro I turned to Rose "So? How long 'till they're here?"

Turning herself away from us, still holding her son's head down, she replied. "Dad answered the call so I guess in two or three minutes they'll be here. Let me put Cris on the crib and I'll be right back. You ok?"

_This woman is incredible! She's the one with a bruise in her cheek and asking me if I'm ok?_

"All good Rose. You?" I looked to her not forgetting that I had a coward fucker just waiting for my distraction.

"I'll be ok" she answered not even looking to him and leaving the room.

"See? I told ya, this is our business. Now let me go Jasp." His voice was a mix of plead and a demand but not convincing me at all and I turned to face him as soon as I was sure Rose was out of reach.

"Listen you son of a bitch; this is the last time I'm saying this so listen carefully. That was the last time you raised your hand to my sister and God forbid if you ever hit Cris, or else I'll be the one to hunt you down, not the police, you get it?" talking slow but meaning every word, I saw his pale face turn red and I prepared myself for a fight.

Then as before in slow motion I felt his head lift with his now fire fueled eyes looking at me,

"Rosalie is my wife, I'll touch her anyway I want, you hear me? And Cristopher is my son and I'll do whatever I want to make him get on track, who do you think you are?" holding him down with all my strength I heard a voice from above that I recognized instantly and my body relaxed.

"He is her brother and I'm her father and the chief of police! Get away from him son, let me handle the trash."

_God! I've never felt so proud of my father like in that moment._

As law enforcement he couldn't do anything against Aro, even though he suspected his daughter was going through hell with him, but know with a call and a complaint made against Aro he was all power!

As Rose came in, I stood and ran to her hugging my big sister as tight as I could. She wasn't crying or sobbing she was still, like in shock. Still as a rock.

"Jasp, I'm ok, thanks little brother" Her voice was secure and firm but sweet. Something I haven't heard to anyone else but Cris for a long, long time

As we watched Aro being handcuffed by Chief Swan and leading him out front, Rose turned her face to my shoulder avoiding facing them.

My dad's second in command, Emmett McCarty and one of my best friends took Aro down the stairs and Mr Chief of Police Swan looked at us overwhelmed with glassy eyes.

"I'm very proud of you son, you did well." I nodded and Rose turned to face him.

"Rose I'm so proud of you right now! Finally you decided to call us! Finally you took the first step!"

I heard a sob and knew that tears would follow, so I hold her tight, anticipating the built up tears to flow freely.

Like my mom always says "_Tears are the soap of the soul"._

Instead of the tears I expected, Rose lifted her head up and looking to dad asked, "Can I stay with you guys if he gets out on bail?"

"Sure Rose, but you know, I can talk to someone…"

"No dad, leave it. I wanna charge him and make sure he never gets around me or Cris again!"

The determination in her voice made me admire her even more. Today she was a total stranger to me, but still my sister. The one I loved and missed for the past years, since she married that coward.

Still holding her I kissed her cheek and said softly "Welcome back big sis, now let's sit and have some tea. I'll take a look to see how Cris is." Letting her go but pointing to the couch I turned back while I heard my dad whisper something to her. Finally things were on track again! Approaching Cris's bedroom I saw the little one was standing, hands on crib's grids, with a peaceful face like he knew all was calm now.

"Hey little man, wanna join mommy?" I asked picking him up and giving him a kiss. His smell was so sweet and clean and I just held him for a moment before turning back.

"Jas, dad go?"

My shock was such I almost let him fall… I'd never heard him talk!

"Cris? Since when you can talk?" I looked at him and he's peaceful face was still waiting for an answer.

"Yes, Cris dad is gone. Uncle Emmett took him away"

He didn't say a thing back and I took him to his mom whom was still talking to dad. As soon as Cris saw him his smile went wide open. The kid loves he's grandpa.

"Hey big man" my dad smiled looking at his grandson stretching to his arms "come here"

Happy on pops lap, Cris was all giggles and smiles and I went to the kitchen to make the tea. A simple task that even I could manage… I wished…

Thinking back I had a hell of a day! And now making tea in my sister's kitchen, which I never got in too, as I always avoid her house. Finding stuff for tea would be a hard thing to do.

Anticipating my moves, Rose came around me and got the pot hanging over my head and took some tea bags from the drawer next to me. In silence she poured the water and while one hand was on stove already the other was opening the glass cabinet with the teacups taking them down already with the other hand free. What a show! I smiled and asked, cautiously.

"When did Cris started to talk?"

She looked at me in panic but then her face smooth again as she replied.

"Cris has been able to talk since he was 18 months, but never in front of his dad or anyone else, just me. Doc said it was a reaction to our family situation when I went to him 6 months ago to his routine appointment with a black eye." Her sad smile said what her mouth didn't. The doctor knew.

I remembered that we used to talk about Cris delay on his speech like something natural at home and never in front of Rose or him. Now that I thought about it not even mom forced him to do it.

"Mom and dad knows, and we didn't say a thing because Cris was afraid Aro would find out."

Poor kid…"But why?" how can a 2 year old keep his mouth shut?

"Cris talks to me when we are alone. We talk a lot actually and his speech is almost perfect for his age. He never wanted his father to know he could speak because he didn't want to talk to Aro." When the water was boiling she poured the water into the 3 teacups and went on "He thought that if Aro knew he could talk, would hurt him, because when I say the wrong things…" she didn't go on and I my heart broke.

No need for more explanations and I took the teacups in the leaving room while Rose wiped her eyes.

She will win this, she will be free of that guy… even if it takes my life my sister and my nephew will never go through hell again.

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**Thanks for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: I own nothing**

**Big huge thanks to Pix as always for the work she has.**

**Thanks to all of those that still stick with this story and review each chapter. My friends you rock my world!**

**Now let's see how our mommy is….**

**BPOV**

Stading at my bedrooom window staring out to the sight of the green, blue and gray nature normally calms me, but today my mood was edgy and the vision before me had no calming effect at all.

The first days at home with my family didn't start as I envisioned. My parent's house is normally quiet and tranquil, but it's as if I have entered a parallel universe and everything has been tipped upside-down. Everyone appears agitated and it's not normal for here!

The first day had Alice calling hyperventilating as she tried to talk, saying she was sure she got in to Medical School, which was a good thing but made me realize that soon we would be talking to her only by phone for the next four years.

Knowing that good news should all about Alice, the baby subject was left to the other day

Then yesterday when Jasp went to Rose's house and shit came down and at the end of the day the only thing we were talking about was if Rose should come back home to my parents or not and how long could Aro would behind bars, so no way I would throw another bomb into the mix. Today was the day! Even if hell itself froze over I had to tell my parents.

Good thing that it was the day I was going to the doctor so I could present the fact and assure them all was good- _I hoped. Not that I feel anything but still you can't be sure can you?_

Jasp _and_ Rose where going with me to the Doctor. I assured them I was capable of going on my own! But no, I had a Swan sibling entourage accompanying me to the doctors. Excuse for our parents? After things that went down yesterday, we were spending some time together.

Hearing little Cris talk remind me of the feeling I had last night when I heard him call me for the first time. Poor baby! He should never have to have been thrown that shit with his parents. Thank God that was over and done with. Rose assured us that she would divorce Aro, and take Cris to child psychiatry so he could get over that fear of not talking.

Even though Aro was detained in custody, Cris would only speak for a few minutes with each of us, always afraid his father would be back. Even if he was in the safety of his grandpa's house as he so well knew. But still, only Rose in her old room got conversation with him.

When he heard doors slam, footsteps he closed down and she had to calm him saying that his father would never come here, that he was safe

The night passed in a blink and the time had arrived to go to the doctor. As I looked out the window again I saw the sun behind those gray clouds, letting me know that even in winter, here in the islands, the sun tried his best to show up and that made me smile.

Today I needed sunshine and all the support I could get. Telling my parents was going to be a hard task and disappointing them, especially my mom, would be hard. Fortunately I now had my older siblings next to me, to help me through this.

How I wish I had someone else though… I wish he was here with me, presenting himself to my parents and assuring them all would be taken care of. That we would raise this baby together and assure them that the baby would have a father. A present one anyway.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts I made my way out of my room. There was no point on going on and on with those memories. Edward was … gone.

I couldn't say or think the other word. The one that was truly the most accurate but still made me feel like I was betraying him. No he _wasn't_… our baby would be a piece of him for always and that was a way of keeping him alive.

As I approached the kitchen and little's Cris voice was cut short, he must have heard my footsteps and I said softly "It's only me Cris"

As I appeared at the kitchen's door his face turned up to me and said "Bella!" Then on a jump he hugged my legs.

Bending down I hugged him and kiss him squeezing him in my arms.

"Hey little man, how was your night at grandpa's?"

"Good! I slept with mommy in her old bed. I liked it." he smiled and then narrowed his eyebrows and I couldn't stop the feeling that something not good was coming out next. "Now mommy says she needs time with you and Uncle Jasp and I can't go." He lowered his head but with his eyes still on me as if he was asking to come along."

I had to laugh at that with tears in my eyes. This kid was too much with one look he could break a concrete wall, even more a fragile hormonal pregnant girl like I was right now.

Clearing her throat Rose said to him, "Baby, mommy already told you this is grown up stuff, you wouldn't like it. Watching your cartoons with grandma will be more fun."

He turned to her and still with that narrowed expression on his face he replied on a serious and aggravated tone not suitable to his age. "You promised me to bring me a big chocolate, don't forget that!"

As we all laugh at that demand as Rose lifts him squeezing him and making him giggle again.

As my mom approached them she said "C'mon big guy, let's have our own party, remember what grandma told you bout today?" she winked at him and as he recalled something she must said to him earlier his face was all smiles and giggles.

"Shhh it's a secret" my mom said picking him from Rose's arms and as the look on his face was as if she had promised heaven of sweats and toys all together.

"Secrets huh?" Rose asked "So I'm out of this?" she asked them with her both hands on her hips as if demanding something but with a smile on her face.

"Mom, it's a secret. We can't say, right grandma?" he looked at her as he asked.

"Yes my love it's our secret and we can't say. Now you two go meet Jasp before you spoil our secret!"

As we waved our goodbyes, getting our blow kisses by both of them, I couldn't stop thinking if my mother would treat my baby like she treated Cris. Will she love him, even if I disappointed her getting pregnant so early?

"She'll love him or her as she loves Cris, or even more to make right for him" Rose said and I question myself if I had speak out loud, but she went on. "Mom and dad will love your baby Bella, no doubts there. Even if the situation isn't the best they will never leave you unprotected"

Tears came to my eyes as my big sister put her arms around my shoulders directing me to Jasp'scar.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked Rose

"Pregnancy Hormones you wouldn't get it. Let's go" she said winking at me and letting me take the back seat.

While we were heading to the doctor's office I still couldn't stop of thinking of all this.

Absent parent was maybe not that bad after all. Cris had a father and look how that turned out. Not that I thought Edward would do anything in the slightness alike to Aro's behavior but still.

I let my memories go back to those 7 days and closing my eyes I saw Edward again, smiling at me, making me laugh, that night….

The ride was not long so my thoughts where cut with a shut of the engine as Jasp parked up

Looking at her watch, Rose said "We still have time for a coffee, Bella will you come with me please?" I looked as I was puzzled why the sudden need to have a coffee when she drank both hers and mine at our house I said

"Rose too much coffee is bad to your health! Let's go inside and get this done"

"Please Bella . I NEED one more coffee!" She stared at me in a plead and I suddenly remind ed myself of the obvious. Smoke. She doesn't smoke in front of our parents or Jasp , even if everyone knows she does it.

"OK, ok, let's go. Jasp, could you please check me in, I'll be inside in a second" I asked my brother to give her the time to beat that damn addiction of hers, reminding myself that I used to smoke also… in which seemed a life time ago and she was my provider most of the time for a pack of smokes.

Although he didn't look surprised at the situation, which was weird, he said in an annoyed tone, "great now I have two hormonal sisters to deal with! Ok, I'll check you in, but you better hurry up 'cause I'm not going in that office alone!"

We all laugh and waved him goodbye as Rose pushed me towards the nearest coffee shop.

When she was sure Jasp eyes were out of reach she took her precious little purse out and there they were: the salvation!

I tried not to think bad about it. She was a grown up and all and I did the same only a few months back, but still keeping this as a secret was weird.

"Rose, when will you assume your life as your own once and for all?" I asked as if this situation was really only like the other one she just past.

"Bella, something's are just the way they are. I smoke, they all know I do, but I don't do it in front of them or Cris by the way. It's a way of keeping me off the addiction for a while when I'm at home" she said while lighting up one.

"Sure thing Rose, but when you feel the need for a smoke and can't you are the biggest bitch around the island. Come forward on that too" I prompted.

"Ok, ok first things first…. Let's get this thing with you done, then my stuff again"

She had a point; our parents where having hell on wheels for the days to come so better not shoot all up at once.

As we sit at the coffee table, the waitress approached us with an ashtray and got our order. Coffee and orange juice, how I miss coffee!

As waited on our order, Rose sat inhaling her cigarette with an appreciating look on her face; she was obviously enjoying every inhale of nicotine but was careful so that no smoke was directly hitting men when we heard a familiar voice.

"What are two beautiful ladies like you two doing all alone in this place?"

Turning my head around I came face to face with Emmet. My dad's second in command and one of Jasp's best friends.

Rose choked on the smoke and was trying to hide the cigarette when he whispered next to her ear in a sexy low voice.

"Rose, please don't worry about me. I don't care if you smoke and I'm sure not gonna get out of here and scream to the world that you do" then he turned the other way and ordered a coffee.

"May I ladies?" he said looking between us, me still speechless with the tone of voice he used with Rose that even turned me on, and Rose I was sure was still in shock.

Clearing my throat I made a gesture with my hand and said "Please join us Em." And looking to Rose I continued "I'm glad you understand Rose's situation about this addiction of hers"

She looked at me with a confused expression but still speechless and I had to motion to the cigarette for her to know what I was talking about. Jeez she was way in shock… I just didn't know if was because she got caught or because of Emmett.

"So, what are you two doing all alone around here?" he asked fixating his eyes on Rose.

My sister was still as a rock looking at him, but thank god the cigarette was on the ashtray smoking by itself, forgotten while she looked to him. I had to say something before those two combust or something

"I'm seeing the doctor today." I said mainly to the air cause although he did ask I didn't think he was paying any attention to my words.

"Oh right, Jasp told me. I hope you don't' mind that I know about it" he looked at me with a gorgeous smile and I nod.

Then facing my sister "Are you alright Rose?" he asked with that tone again that even to me was sexy as hell…

I had to snap her out of her muteness by smacking her arm with my elbow , which brought my sister back to planet earth.

"Bella! What the f…..!" She stopped then looking to Emmet she gave to most lusty smile I've ever seen on her face. "Sorry for my language Emmet. I'm fine thank you and glad that you can keep a secret…"

OK… this is getting weird enough… these are not the people I know at all….. Better keep myself out of this…

"Excuse me for a second, I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back in a second" I stood up and Emmet did a gesture to do the same…so polite…. "Please Emmet, no need to stand up"

"You know Bella, I was raised to be polite and a gentleman always." He said turning his face again to Rose and I got away from there _fast_.

When I was finished pretending to be busy in the bathroom I went out hoping that both of them would be behaving…. Honestly No, I was hoping they wouldn't be but I had to keep that to myself. She is still married to that thing and she can't fool around now…

I saw them talking normally and as I approached the table I heard the last part of the conversation before Emmet stood up again "…and I will wait for you, no matter what"

I didn't have the nerve to ask what they were talking about because the look in my sister's eyes told me a lot. She was facing her second chance… but I had to interrupt them.

"Time to go. I don't want Jasp to go in the doc office instead of me"

As Rose stood up, Emmet took her hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles…so old fashioned if you ask me but a respectful thing to do to a married woman.

She blushed a blush so deep red, funny I've never saw her blush that hard before! And in silence we all headed out the door.

Emmet held my arm for a second and kissed my cheek whispering "Hope all goes well in there little sister" which made me laugh.

"Thank you big, big brother we'll talk soon I hope" I whispered so low that Rose couldn't listen and left wishing that Rose would follow me….

**Thanks for reading**


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: I own nothing**

**Thanks again and again to Pix an awesome Beta and friend and to the readers of this story. Love you guys.**

**Some of the facts on this chapter, concerning laws where true in 1994, around here. Now they are not. Anyone can make a complaint if seeing DV even if the victim doesn't. Thank god for that.**

**I wished more woman had the strength to tell the truth. The last numbers I heard about this matter was 15 death women in this small country, but many don't do a thing to get out of it, and even when they do sometimes it still doesn't help and they get killed anyway.**

**I can say by next experiences that getting it all out isn't easy but it's not impossible. **

**Be brave**

**Now Jasper…..**

**Jasper POV**

"So doc, you got all of it by now, what do you think we should do?" I asked to our family doctor.

"Jasper, the best way is to get it done is while we are all in here. After I do the first exam on her I'll call you and Rose in and we'll tell her then. Better if you do it considering the way Rose talks." He said with aggravated tone since he knows my big sister very well.

"You know doc, you'll be surprise if I told you how she changed in 24 hours… she called the police, made a complaint and got a lawyer friend of dad's to put things on track"

The doctor was pleased by the news and although he was my father's age he laughed like a child.

"Jasper, you can't imagine how happy that makes me! I always wished I could do anything to help but our laws are so restricted that sometimes even I wish I could do something. Never have I felt the weight of doc/patience privilege hang on me so bad when I saw your sister the last time she was here."

"Last night that all ended, he tried to hurt her but I was there and stopped it. He never did that in front of us and she never presented any complaints for Cris' sake, as she understood back then. Fortunately all is over and he'll have to stay away from her, from now on."

The doc stood up facing the window and I wondered what he was thinking now. Sometimes he can get distracted in appointments…

"Jasper, you and your family have to be careful with that guy. I can't say more than this but please be sure Rose is always with at least one of you when he gets out."

Ok…. This is not something I have thought about but now I was curious.

"Doc, what do you mean? He is still in jail because of the Christmas holidays that the judge took and he'll be there until next year for what I know".

"Yes Jasper, Marcus will be out on vacation indeed but still when he comes back, he might not have the law on his side to keep Aro in." he said in a deep voice, as I recalled that the judge was his brother in law.

"Let's handle that when the time comes, now we have to take care of your sister Bella first don't you think? Then if needed you can come over one day and we'll talk about other matters, and I'm sure you are gonna need some help talking to your parents also. Charlie is a good dad but a story like this could make him loose control".

As a family doctor he was always kind of a "all of the job doc" so even in matters different then those around illness he was always available, not only for us, but for the rest of his patients. Maybe that was why he never got married my dad said one day after having lunch with him.

"My concerns about my dad, were worse yesterday, before I knew that Edward was alive and then that whole situation with Rose. I'm sure he will handle it better then we think, but if we need you I'll call, thank you" Friends are always welcome in situations like this and who knows if I'm right about my dad?

"Ok then, now you get out and if Bella is already outside, please send her in" he said embodying my sister's doctor for the moment.

As I got out my sister's where giggling and in a good mood, which I didn't get.

"Bella, I've already checked you in, doc, says you can go." My little sister looked at me with a questioning stare and before she got suspicious I said "I just went in to greet the doctor, now it's your turn to go inside. Unless you want me to have the appointment myself" I smiled trying to get her good mood back instead of suspicions.

As she went in I sat next to Rose and the smell of smoke hit my nose…. Oh well, might as well talk about this also. We have the time.

"Hey Rose, you know you can trust me on everything right?" I started not sure what to expect in response.

She stared at me with a shocked look; It softened as the tears came to her eyes "Well Jasper, it's no easy to say I can. You are my little brother, the one I used to think as the kid that broke all my toys when we were little, so no I can't say for sure that I can trust you" she said smiling and I got the joke on her answer.

"OK, no breaking toys anymore, I promise" I raised my hand and put in on my chest above my heart and still smiling went on "You know, I don't mind that you smoke? " I waited for her reaction but none was taken so I went on "You know how bad smoking is for you, but if you need that thing to go on, don't hide anymore."

She was still, silent and I took the rare opportunity "We all know you smoke, we are concerned about your health but still we accept that as a fact." Even thou no one else in the family smokes we can relate to her as each of us have our get away from things.

Rose's eyes were shining as tears started to fall. My big sister never cried or showed emotion unless for Cris was next to her, crying. I just had one thing I could do and I hugged her carefully not knowing what the reaction could be.

She let me hold her and cried for a while. I'd never realize my big sister needed a shoulder before. Not that me and Bella wouldn't be around, but she was always the _big sis_ and she knew it all. Now she was only our sister who needed us, as we needed her.

Soon she raised her head and grabbing a tissue form her purse she wiped her tears.

"Jas, I've had hard years but now that I found a way to get out, I'm not turning back. The smoke was a release. I started when he first hit me and only when I knew I was pregnant I saw how hard it was to stop. I know it's bad for my health and now maybe with all this shit I won't be able to stop, but I do intend to. I don't want to give a bad example to Cris."

I'm so proud to call this woman my big sister….

"And yes, I will stop sneaking around to smoke around you guys.. I Won't smoke in front of Cris and with some help I'll stop before he gets to learn about it so I can tell him my story and be an example for him."

Hugging time again…I love my sister!

We were both there in silence embraced when the door opened and the nurse called us in.

Holding hands like when we were kids, we went in in silence, both of us knowing that show time was up.

Bella turned around with a fascinating smile and my heart jumped as Rose asked.

"So doctor good news? All good?" she asked in a neutral tone knowing that too much excitement would appear in a few moments.

"Rose, nice to see you so well, and yes all seems good for now." Then directing himself to Bella he winked at us as I sigh to let the bomb loose.

Sitting next to Bella while Rose grabbed a chair to sit on the other side I took a deep breath and started.

"Bella, we have something to tell you and this is the perfect place for it" I looked at her but she was still beaming and only her eyebrows narrowed and I went on holding her hands.

"You know, yesterday Alice went with her teacher Doc. Riley to see the hospital where he works" I stopped again taking my time for all of us to see her reaction and she smile faded a bit in worry.

"One of the patients… "I looked at Rose letting her know now was the time and she discreetly put her hand over Bella's … is amnesic and can't remember who he is" I took another deep breath avoiding telling the part that he is in a very bad shape.

"Alice did however recognize him…" another deep breath and my little sister already knew what I was about to say from the expression on her face.

"Edward is alive Bella." No better way to say this then straight on I thought and Bella's reaction was a wide smile.

As tears formed in her eyes we all stood still impatient to see her reaction to the news.

"Jasper", she said squeezing my hand and turning to Rose "Rose" then turning back to me again "I always knew he was alive. I told everyone that I knew that. My doubts where were and how he was, not if he was alive or not." She said not fighting her tears and still in a calm tone.

"For the sake of this baby, I always had to keep that resolution or else maybe we wouldn't be here now" she said letting one of her hands free and caressing her still flat belly.

"Now that I know he's in an hospital, my concern is to know how he is and when can I see him"

I think me and Rose where not prepared to answer that so we turned to the doctor.

"Bella", he said "in these cases of amnesia, it's only good for the patient's slow recovery of his memories. He'll need to get his memories back with patience, only god knows how long that can take." He finished taking of his glasses.

"Doc, I'm sure he remembers me. I'm certain as this baby is inside me, that when he sees me he'll know who I am" Bella said so certain that even I couldn't doubt that.

"Bella, you need to know that sometimes memories of people are the latest to come forward. From my knowledge, amnesia leaves faces and names for the last memory to come forward. First are the basic things that any baby can do, then normal things like if he likes certain kind of food or not." The doctor made a pause and looking at Bella still went on

"Sometimes in dissociative amnesia, that I'm not sure it is the case with Edward, the fact of confronting the loss of his family can be one of the aspects that can deny his mind to remember anything and seeing you can be worse for him as well."

She listened to all of this quit and still but not sad. Her smile just faded a bit but her hand was still on her belly and I was glad when she spoke.

"Doctor, until when can I travel by plane?" she asked

"Well Bella, it's better not to travel after the 36 week unless it's an emergency so you still have a few weeks to wait to see him."

"No doc, I mean when can I return? I will go to see Edward and stay around. I'll be there for him, but I'll still like my baby to be born here in the island".

I was in shock! Looking at Rose I saw that so was she. What was this girl thinking? She hasn't told our parents yet, she's in school and not knowing if that will go on and she wants to go alone to the mainland to be with Edward? Pregnant and alone? Ok this was something we had to stop now.

"Bella…" I started but she shut me immediately

"Jasper, I know. I know all that you are going to say. First we talk to mom and dad while Alice talks to his doctor. If all turns up right I'll be with him before New Year's eve." She said serious yet certain of her decision.

Looking for help on the doctor I saw that he wouldn't say another thing for now. This was way beyond doctor's business or even as my father's friend. This was a matter to speak with our parents and with Edward's doctor as she said and God forbid if we try to demote her!

Stubborn girl never was her way, but I knew that my, no longer baby sister, but determined Bella would do anything to get it her way on this.

I could relate to that as I remember how much I missed Alice and maybe if I was in her position I'd do the same thing.

I wasn't sure when we stood up and said are thank you's and goodbyes to the doctor, but next thing I knew I was outside with two giggling sisters next to me, and not surprised at all to see Emmett waiting near my car. He knew everything and was there for me and for us…even if I knew that deep down he was there more for Rose then for me.

I wished so hard that finally my sisters could find peace in their life's. Bella with her baby and Edward and Rose I hoped with Emmett.

It was time to go face chief Swan and his wife…and I knew this was another round of the trip, but I was almost positively sure that they would be concern as always but trust all of us in this matter when we backed up Bella.

While my sisters where chatting with Emmett I had to call Alice. I had a new idea for our future and I needed to share it with her.

It didn't take long for her to accept the call and the sound of her voice made me more sure of my decision

"Hey Babe, how's things?" she said and that voice went back to my brain and down my back, this was too long since I've been with her indeed…

"Hey my love. All went smoothly. I need to ask you a question. Do you think you have spare time to look up for an apartment for three?" I asked putting at once my phone away from my ear expecting the scream…and I was right

"WHAT? FOR WHO? WHEN?" she started to shout all this and more and when she stopped I said.

"Babe, I'm moving to mainland with you and taking Bella. It's what she wants and after we talk to my parents I'll make everything to help her in that"

"Jasp, you and Bella? Here with me? Oh God! That's the best news I got in …wait 24 hours?" she giggled and I laugh.

"Yes babe, lots of things changing in our life's right? All good news. So do you have the time for it?" I teased.

"Jasper Swan, do you really think I'd say no? I'm starting right now! It's easy; I just have to pick one of those that I cut off before… Jasp?" she suddenly stopped talking.

"Yes Al?" I wondered what would come out now.

"Do I have to look for two bedrooms or three?" she asked in a weird shy tone.

"Two of course Al. You'll sleep with Bella in one and I'll have the other" I joked, but by the lack of response on her side I corrected "Don't be silly Al, of course that if you want we can stay together…just be sure there is a living room with a couch".

As I could still hear the static on the phone I realized that she wasn't getting the joke again…. We have been away too long…

"Al, the couch is for those days that you get sick of me" I said now a bit worried about her answer, not knowing if I was taking a bigger step then I should.

"Jasper, are you sure you wanna do this?" this was not what I expected her to answer and my worries made me panic.

"Al, I'm sure. Why? You don't wanna do this?" I asked afraid of her answer.

Then as I heard her laugh I relaxed and even more when she said "You better be sure Jasper, because as soon as you come in to my bed you are never leaving it again. I love you, you fool, payback!" she scream the last word and I smiled.

All was gonna be just fine…

**Thanks for reading :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**-As you all know SM owns all twilight related and she is great right? **

**AN -First of all I'm sorry for the delay on the update. RL got in and things went wilder and wilder each day.**

**Pixielee, my Beta, my friend, thank you for taking a moment of your busy life for this. Together we made this baby grow up and I'm very proud of it.**

**April I'll never forget your suggestions and the way you helped me turning a blur into a fic, and congrats for Carter for who i send all my love.**

**To my friends Gail, Em and Karen thank you girls for reading every chapter with such great reviews.**

**C, I'm sorry if I missed some night shifts but you can imagine why.**

**For all those that read and review this story many thanks you guys made me stronger and helped making me write one after another.**

**I'm sad to say that for now this will be the last chapter of Lost in the Ocean.**

**I'm almost sure now that I said this that it won't be the last of these two because so much is still to tell and wrap before it ends but that will take a while.**

**I love this fic and it made me so happy these past months that it's not fair for the story, me and the readers to say it's over.**

**I'll do my best to make things work in the future and tell what is still in my mind.**

**This is not a goodbye, but a see you soon.**

**Now let's see if you guys like how this goes.**

**Enjoy and maybe grab some tissues :)**

**BPOV**

Once I had boarded the plane and got myself settled I caught myself gazing out the window reflecting over the past few days, getting anxious wasn't good for the baby so I tried to control my breathing. The emotions that I went through, the crying, screaming and laughing, they took over that the fear I felt… I about turned and didn't board this flight.

I glance over to the other isle and smile at the sight of my dearest brother Jasper, his hand covering that of his one true love, Alice. We couldn't be seated together in fact we were lucky we got seats together at all!

After Christmas, it's very hard to get plane tickets in and out the islands because there is a surge of students returning to their dorms on the mainland so they can spend the New Year with their friends and tourists go to the islands to bring in the New Year with some peace and quiet.

Our New Year's Eve used to be a big party with all the family and our friends dancing to the sound of the tape recorder where everyone brought food to the community center.

In the main towns of the islands, there are some fireworks and the firefighters mark their part by buzzing the fire alarm at midnight.

Mostly in the smaller villages, it's TV that shows us the celebrations and we get to watch how the mainlanders celebrate the New Year.

We are one hour behind them, so our TV station makes the rewind of the countdown, and then it's corks and champagne all over the place, kisses and hugs, wishes of a Happy New Year and so on.

The party goes on until the last person goes home, normally the teenagers, which have that night especially dedicated to drink with an excuse; hang out with friends and go home when the sun is already rising for the new day.

I'll miss that part. We always enjoy the New Year and the excuse to go late to bed early in the morning. Last New Year I was with Alice and Jasper when our parents left around two a.m., so Dad's deputy could enjoy a bit of the night. Emmett joined us at the disco and the rest of that night is still a little blur to me…James was there I remembered, smiling.

What I won't miss at all is the selective hangover that seems selective when we go to the first mass of the year… something I never got, but as a tradition all of the Swan and now Alice got all dressed up for it.

Yesterday at Christmas lunch, we all sat around the table and with one of those rare opportunities that the whole family was together I took my chances on bringing up my whole story.

Maybe that was a little too much of a Christmas gift for my parents, but weird as our life had been lately, my pregnancy, Edward lost and found and us going to the mainland together was something our family took in a word or better saying four words: "Better than I thought".

At first my parents where concerned and a bit angry with me for getting pregnant and announcing it in front of Alice's parents on Christmas wasn't their ideal of breaking the news, but after Alice, Jasper and Rose interfered, all seemed to get on track.

Alice let them know how she'd found him, with enthusiastic details of the whole trip to mainland.

Jasper told them the way he found me when he was in Green Island s and got a hard time with my parents for hiding that part of the trip from them.

Then came along Rose to save the day. Giving her marriage as an example she asked which they'd prefer, for me to be with a man I don't love and can hurt me as time goes by or with someone I'm sure loves me and needs me and our baby now?

That about summed up the conversation and only Alice's parents got to talk about not liking her and Jasper living together.

Then it was my turn to help out saying that Jasper was going for me and the baby, and it would be absurd for the three of us to live in two apartments when we could split the rent and stuff.

Not that our parents are total morons. They know why and how things are going to work with those two. They've been together since they were kids and everyone knows how that will end.

Funny that after Cris woke up, the subject changed to daily stuff avoiding any of the things we'd mentioned at the table and the day was almost perfect, if only I could forget about Edward alone in that bed without knowing who he was and Esme waiting and waiting for Carlisle to wake up.

That was another great development in progress. After Doc Riley, which Alice is very proud to call her teacher; talked to his chief and the procedures for Carlisle to be released gradually from the induced coma took place.

Now he's wakening two hours a day, just the enough time to start gradually coming back by himself. Esme can stay with him for a while when he's awake but only for short moments so he won't ask much questions that they prefer to wait to answer.

He already knows his family had and accident and Edward is amnesic.

She has been authorized to talk about me and the baby to fill in the absence of his parents and grandparents.

So as she tells him our story they spend time together and then she leaves.

I would be pissed at myself if I was her. Only two hours with your boyfriend and only able to talk about your brother's romance? Well, let's hope I can help on that with my presence around Edward… and they're comes the anxiety. I know he won't remember our love but something inside me tells me he'll remember me. That's what I'm hoping for…if he doesn't I'm not sure I can take the disappointment. What if he never remembers me? It would be as if we never met each other. If he doesn't recall me at all, how can I tell our baby about his father? What if all of this is a bad idea after all and I should forget about going to him? I can't stand the pain in my chest, I'm losing it… I'm gonna lose my baby, I need to calm down, breath Bella Breath… can't think of bad things…What if ….

I hear a man next to me asking if I'm ok then Alice's and Jasper's voice far, far away, as I let my mind shut off.

**EPOV**

I sense that today must be an important day…everyone around me seems more nervous than usual.

Yesterday was Christmas day and the room is still decorated in red and green as if not only the occasion was special but the time to come also. Something is the air as if Santa is really coming or something. Or maybe it's just my mind playing tricks again, like that day I saw that cute little girl that passed out.

After that I've been told that they are going to reduce the drugs gradually until my body can tolerate the pain, so I don't think that is what they are celebrating.

Maybe the fact that they found my brother, that is also in a hospital is what makes people so happy around me, as if finding my brother, who I can't remember will bring me back.

Vicky is the only normal one around me, not really normal because she has become a bit quiet and sad. Maybe spending the holidays working is what bothers her, which I have to say I understand. I can't remember my latest holidays but I can remember playing around a Christmas tree with another kid and adults shouting at us to be still.

I can remember presents under a tree and sneaking down the stairs to take a peek at those which I thought was mine, but no names in the packages… wait, there's a name on one… a big box. I try to make my mind go to that small piece of paper so I can see the name on it but the pain strokes me and I know it's time to stop or else the whole floor will come in with all the bells ringing in warning.

"Calm down…Edward" I hear Vicky's voice "Don't push so much, your blood pressure is rising too fast" I open my eyes to see her fidgeting the bag to the top of my head. She can't drug me now. I can't handle it, so I try to catch her before she does.

"Please" my voice seemed strange even for me… as if it was a long gone gift that somehow on this day was showing up and I saw Vicky's face radiant as she out the corridor. "Doc Riley, Doc"

He was outside I bet because he got in as soon as she called him.

I shut my eyes. I was tired but needed to rest on my own, not with drugs. I knew something was going to happen I felt it in the air, maybe if shutting my eyes a bit I would gather enough strength …

"He spoke Doc! When I went to adjust his meds he said please, as if he didn't want me to administer any medicine" She said in an excited tone and his answer was of the same tone.

"Good, that's very good. He's coming out of it slowly. He is understanding what's around him" a moment of silence followed "Let's let him rest a bit but keep on checking his vitals. If he gets over excited he won't be able to stay awake."

I knew it; I knew I had to be awake for some reason. I tried to say something but I was so tired I knew it wouldn't comeet out right and maybe even make it worse. Staying quiet was the best way for me to find out what was about to happen.

"I was just on the phone with them. She passed out on the plane but is ok now. It was just anxiety. The military car went to pick them at the airport and in maybe one hour or so they'll be here." He said in a whisper but I could still hear him as they left my side.

Someone important was coming for me! He talked about a "she" but no names… and "she" passed out. I wonder why? Was "she" Sick? Who was she?

I decided to make my body and mind rest. I had a sort of battle in a few minutes and I needed the rest.

**BPOV**

_Great move Bella!_

Passing out in a plane ready to land was the perfect moment… Why did I have to think so much? I know how that makes me and I should've stopped it, but the fear and uncertainty of the next few hours where too much for me.

"Bella?" Jasper whispered in my ear and I looked up at him from the airport's wheel chair, not realizing that I had shut my eyes again and a frightened Alice was kneeling in front of me, outside in the dark night where we waited for a car.

After I woke up they were so terrified I could see that I must have been out cold for a long time. I was no longer in my seat but next to them with both front and rear seats empty, giving me space to lay in a more comfortable position. The first thing I remember was Jasper whispering in my ear for me to wake up, that we were landing and that soon the trip would be over.

A host stood by our seats when I opened my eyes, ignoring the preventive measures when landing that everyone should be sitting and I felt like a stupid brat putting myself the baby and these people in risk just because I had a panic attack.

Shaking my head I came back to the present moment, already on the ground and tried with the best normal tone voice I could to reassure them I was ok.

"I'm ok. I was just taking a deep breath." The voice came out in a lower tone that I wished and I hoped that this feeling, this panic would go away. I was almost there, I couldn't break now. If I did maybe they wouldn't let me see him…

I saw as Alice looked up at Jasper with an inquisitive look as if reassuring this was a good idea.

I knew my best friend and before she or Jasper had the chance I tried harder to reassure them I was ok.

"Guys, I said I'm ok. I had a panic attack; my mind shut it, now it's all good. I'm ready to go!" even I was reassured with my own little speech. I was ready. I was more than ready and needed this to get through all the insecurity.

Seeing Edward would take all those thoughts away, he recognizes me or he doesn't and we'll go from there.

A dark car, that under the light seemed blue, stopped in front of us and a navy officer came out.

"Mr. Swan" he said approaching Jasper's side "I'm here to drive you to the hospital" his tone formal but friendly.

Without any doubt the navy was taking this thing about Edward and Carlisle very serious to make an officer our driver. He cleared that instantly.

"My name is Charles, I was a good friend of the Cullen's" his tone aggravated as he spoke "I was devastated with the accident and I have been the one responsible for Carlisle's internment and keeping all the Cullen's things together for him." He went on making a motion for us to get in the car and Jasper helped me up and into the car while he explained "When we found out about Edward we were so glad that he was alive that all of the friends came together to make things even better for them when they get home"

That was a long shot, even I knew that. Each one of the brothers couldn't leave the hospital in the near future, not in their conditions, but then again I was wrong.

"After we talked to Esme's parents, wonderful people, they've assure us that they also thought that taking both of them home would be for the best, so we had some modifications done and they can even be in the same room"

_Ok…. We are talking about the navy but even so…._

"I'm sorry sir." I interrupted before I got more confused "How is that possible or even better than being in a hospital with people taking care of them all day?"

He looked to me from the rear mirror "I'm sorry, Bella right? Jessica and Esme told my daughter all about you. The last days it seems my phone never stops ringing, when it's not Jessica wanting to know more news, it's Esme.

"Jessica?" I asked in shock.

Jessica! I forgot about her! How could I! She was his best friend…but how did she know? Alice squeezed my hand and I knew I would learn about that later.

"Yes. Jessica and my Lauren were friends…well until Lauren broke Edward's heart and Jessica took his side. I'm sure that they were right. My Lauren used to be a bit…out of her head. Thank God that's over" He said more for him that for us.

Lauren, Edward's old girlfriend … oh my… there it comes again … but Alice as always knowing me so well squeezed my hand again and I took a deep breath and asked again, getting back on track.

"So the navy is planning to take them home? With all the equipment, assistants and nurses?" My doubts of such an effort for them, was still hard to deal with.

"Bella, they are the last of the Cullen's. Their grandfather and father where, I can assure you, the best and most respected officers we had and this seems the least we can do for them."

That summed it. The navy takes care of their own, Edward had once told me that and that appears to be true. I was glad they had still that much comfort around them. Even if Edward couldn't recognize me at least he had people beside him that cared about him and Carlisle.

I shivered as I saw the big building in front of us. The time to panic was gone. Now I had to be certain of this. I realized that like always I had one hand on my belly as Alice covered it with hers.

"It's all gonna be ok Bella, we will be with you all the time. Let's hope for the best ok?" I heard the unspoken part of her concern. Even if he didn't recognize me I couldn't let hope leave me and be strong as I had been the last few months.

Although I always had the feeling he was alive, somehow now that I was sure he was, the biggest fear was that he wouldn't know me.

I took a deep breath and in a secret talk with my baby I reassured that I would do everything to make this work.

**EPOV**

I heard noise in the hall and opened my eyes. I must have slept a while because now the curtains where shut and the only noise in the floor were the whispers outside my room.

I saw Vicky peeking in and when she saw that I had woken she went to the hall again.

I felt nervous and a bit weird with this kind of hide and seek, I tried to lift myself a bit to make take own peek outside. It was hard but I managed to slide up the bed a bit, but still no way I could look out.

Doc Riley caught me bending over as he came in and smiling and nodded in the way the older do when they catch a kid making some foolishness.

"Ah! You're awake" And curious I see!"

I heard the commotion outside and frowned.

"Look, Edward we need you to be calm and relaxed. Outside are people that know you and we hope that when you see them you can remember them. It's hard and not a very nice thing to do in your condition but we need to make you came back and get on with your life"

So that was what they were planning! Thank God they didn't tell me earlier because now I was nervous, what if I didn't recognize the people outside? Who were they? My parents?

What if I didn't recognize them as I suspected already would happen. Could that mean it was gone forever? My short life erased from my mind?

I shut my eyes making and effort to stay calm but the ringing in the equipment denunciate my nervous state and Vicky came in.

"Doc. Riley, I'm not sure this is a good idea. He's already too edgy, it could be worse for him." I heard concern in her voice but also something else, but couldn't figure out what and now I had other stuff to deal with anyway.

"I-I'm ok" I said and her face as before was radiant to hear my voice.

Doc Riley nodded and told Vicky "Vicky I know you're worried as I am, but this young boy has to make an effort to wake up and grab his life again." He put one hand on my shoulder looking serious at me and I did my best to seem calm and ready, even though I wasn't.

"Bring her in" he said and Vicky turned her back.

More commotion in the hall and light steps inside and then I saw her.

I had no doubt in my mind I knew her. She kept me alive and sane since I realized I was in the hospital. She was my beautiful dream girl with her brown hair falling down as in my dreams. Her beautiful face, with those big brown eyes, looking as scared as I felt.

I didn't want to assume, but she seemed really as nervous as I was. With one hand on her belly, while the other was held by the cute girl that passed out in my room a few days ago. Behind them was a guy with a concerned look with his hands on both of the girl's shoulders, very protective.

"She" was the first to take a step forward and the rest of the room froze waiting for my reaction.

I tried to find the name that fitted that face but the only word around my head was "Bella" as if this was the only word that I could call her. But then, I froze. What if Bella wasn't her name? I heard the other girl say "Edward" and "Bella" before she passed out the other day, but what if I got it wrong?

One thing I was sure I knew her, I loved her more than my own life. She was with me all the time even in my sleep and remembering, her made me came back to life. She had been the person for whom I've waited even thought I didn't now how or why. I had to say something. I could notice her gaze on me waiting and that nervous hand on her belly.

Then something snapped as I heard my own voice inside my head.

"_Oh my God, please protect my Bella and our baby! I'll be there as soon as I can… Take care of her for me. Please God. I beg you let her be safe!" _then screams and the world turned inside out as I whispered.

"I will always love you Bella._"_

**BPOV**

_Did I just hear him say that?_

Can this be true? Did Edward recognize me?

Tears filled my eyes and I went forward forgetting all of the doctor's recommendations, I took his fragile hand in mine. He seemed so week, so fragile but his hand was warm and when we touched it seemed as if the rest of the world didn't exist. Just our hands, holding in the universe, united again.

I was unable to say a word since I saw him and now I knew that it would be a good time to say something but as in some great moments of our life's, silence is more important than words. He must have the same need. Only his eyes, now watered by emotion I hoped, were trying to say the words his month wouldn't. With a slight movement of his finger on my palm I knew he wanted to be like we were. Quiet, still, enjoying the moment.

**EPOV**

Bella, my Bella. She was holding my hand and somehow that made the rest of the world a blur. Nothing else mattered. Bella was here. She was safe.

Water filled my eyes and I knew that all those tears hiding for so long where loose.

My Bella, my love. The girl that gave me everything and asked for nothing. The one that I gave my heart and soul to and the one that brought me back to life only by existing.

If she existed so would I.

I looked to her belly and when she followed my gaze, came even closer and covered with my hand her belly and her hand on top of mine.

The fear of that night, all the craziness that my life had, was and would be, was gone.

She was pregnant.

I didn't know how I knew then, but now I was sure.

She… We…. Our baby.

I made an effort to talk, to say something but I couldn't, tears flowed down my cheeks as a wild river, releasing all the held in fear of losing her, of dying that night and never seeing her again.

She bent down slowly and tears dropped in my cheek. Mixed tears with one emotion in common.

"I love you Edward" she said in a whisper and brushed my lips with a kiss.

The noise around, suddenly intruded our moment.

The equipment started they're usual ringing alarm, but this time no nurse or doctor came in. They were, I could see still next to me on the other side, while Alice and Jasper stand behind Bella.

Not a dry eye in the house.

Every single person in the room witnessing our emotion, our love.

She had brought me back. I could remember everything now that I knew she was safe. My mind no longer closed to my biggest fear: Losing Bella.

**Thanks for reading.**

**I never asked for reviews but I would like to know, even those that don't usually review what you think, as a "see you soon" gift.**

**Thank you all for being out there**

**All my love for you guys**

**xxx**

**Lucy**


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